M0nica, "She can afford to pay for any care she may need herself" I think this may be a bit to the fundamental question, or it is what I hear. When does divesting assets for lowering liability to estate tax make an equilibrium with keeping enough assets to live an indeterminate rest of life?
I know my answer is to spend not save, but I do have a husband to shoulder that worry and hold my spending back a bit. 
British style conquers on this occasion.
Feeling like im on the slippery slope!!!


