Child maintenance.

I have no words of wisdom for you.
I do know the whole CM thing is a nightmare. DD has been through it but thankfully it's now resolved.
Of course your son should maintain his first child but the desision about how much is often unfair.

Well done to your son for arranging CM when he first split from his previous partner many men do not do this and he has shown how committed he is to his childs welfare.
CM is a minefield and some of the figures they come up with are seemingly unjustified.
Does the new girlfriend have CM paid for her daughter as she is the responsibility of her father ? if not why not get new girlfriend to chase the father.

Unfortunately his stepdaughters father died when she was a baby so no help from there I am afraid, it’s just so unfair he pays for his children which he has done from day one of the split. Do they not take into account debts rent food etc. His ex is going on holiday in October on a cruise he can’t even afford a holiday it’s so unfair.

You son can contest the amount set by CM team on the grounds of financial hardship I'm sure.
Well worth a try.
It sounds like his ex-partner is disgruntled about his new relationship and has gone down the offical route rather than the agreed amount first set up.

glammanana you are absolutely correct. ?

Get your son to have a phone appointment with CM, and explain all his outgoings. CM is a mine field but he cannot pay what he doesn't have.

From the other point of view. And, do stop me if I've mentioned this before!!

DD3's ex husband tries to get out of paying anything for his two children despite earning a lot of money. He is self-employed and has managed to arrange his affairs so that his taxable earnings are very low. CMS have (after an awful lot of effort from DD) agreed he should pay less per month for both of them than the contract on his very flash car.

DD has a new partner and he is happy to support all of them but DD thinks it is very unfair that he should.

Good luck to your son with trying to sort the CMS (or is it now CMA or the other way around?) it has taken DD 6 months.

It does seem unfair. Perhaps one way to look at it is to see the ex as a 24-hour childminder who gets the kid to and from school on time, nurses her through illness, attend parent evenings, take her to clinics, deal with tantrums and sulks, play with her, listen to her constant chatter etc. My son is in the same position as yours, and we count down the days to my grandson's independence.

When he had another child his payments to his ex should have DECREASED. Did he declare this child?

It's the way it is and he needs to face up to his responsibilities after all it is his child.

I agree with other posts regarding getting CM to review his case,as they may not have information about changes regarding his new family. And we'll done to him for looking after his responsibilities................................. Also just a thought,although his ex may be going on a cruise etc,she may not necessarily be paying for it with the maintenance money,a relative may have chipped in,as I have friends who help pay for their single parent daughters holiday

His child's needs haven't decreased - so I don't know why he should start paying LESS strawberian. It's not his ex's fault that he now has "another mouth to feed".

Quite, Stella.

I’m afraid that I think his ex should get herself a job, the same as he has and his new partner has. I don’t agree with people sitting at home expecting other people to fund them. Of course the father should pay for his child, but he should be sharing the costs of child rearing with the child’s mother. Sounds like she’s lazy to me.

my ex son in law rarely pays a penny towards his twohe has "his new family to provide for" he says.Shame he didn't realise that before taking on someone elses child and having a new baby with his new GF !
a "NEW" family shouldn't mean the existing child should be set aside .A child .like a puppy as the christams msg says is for LIFE ,not until you decide you dont want it anymore .

Exactly.

We only had as many children as we could afford.

My ex has a second family. Once he moved and had a big mortgage I was told that with the child and a mortgage, his CSA payments should cease. When I pointed out that meant (by covering his missing CSA payments) I was paying his mortgage, I was asked why his 2nd wife should pay for my child. My child, now adult, has pretty much no contact with him. His loss because she is lovely.

stella1949 strawberrinan is correct - if he is supporting his step daughter then its likely the amount he is tasked to pay will be reduced.

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/how-much-child-maintenance-should-i-pay

My two boy's dad didn't pay a penny c/m, even though they were babies when he left. His new g/f left a 5 yr old boy with his dad and took her 7 yr old daughter to live with her and my ex. They moved so many times I couldn't keep track of them to get him to court. There was no CSA in those days. Eventually, when my sons reached their teens, I was able to trace them and finally got a court hearing. It was a lady judge who after hearing that my ex had taken on his girlfriends child and had another child with new g/f decided to wipe out all the arrears to date. Then made an order for a pathetic amount until they reached 16.

Nannypiano I brought three children up and never got a penny off their father it too was before the days of CSA
I think the first mother should go out to work and should support her own child as much as the father should
If he is suppprting three children he needs a new assessment so all three children get the same manageable amount and if that’s not enough for the first mother she needs to top up with her own earnings She s obviously getting benefits ie housing etc as a single mum and you say she is not struggling but they are and yes that needs addressing

I thought CM was a percentage of disposable income which is pretty static. If your DS has to pay more, it will be because he has more income or it may be because the CSA have not yet taken his new children into account which reduces the percentage. Also, if your DS has the child overnight on a regular basis, that will be taken into account as will excessive travelling costs/accommodation to access the child if they live a long way away. If that is the case, your DS can ask for it to be reassessed. I believe what his ex earns is not considered so if she chooses not to work, this doesn't impact on him.
Whilst I am sympathetic to men who have 'lost' their children because their wife/GF has left them through no fault of their own, when you have a child you know that they will be your financial responsibility until they reach adulthood. Any later decisions about having more children have to be balanced with that.

Sorry if I have offended anyone in my post regarding Bopeeps son and his "new"family,..it was not meant in the context that they took preference over ex family,all I meant to say was he should be praised for paying maintenance when many others would have disappeared without trace. Perhaps I should be more careful with wording and not generalise