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Legal, pensions and money

How much to give?

(46 Posts)
watermeadow Mon 01-Oct-18 18:28:14

I’m selling most of my garden to raise the money to do work on my old house. I need an upstairs bathroom, new roof, re-wiring etc, big expensive jobs.
I’ve never been able to afford to do necessary repairs and live very frugally so all of the money I shall get is earmarked, I shan’t be spending anything on luxuries.
I’d love to share my gains with my 4 daughters but don’t feel I can gift them more than £1000 each. I do help them a lot with my time and childcare.
Does this sound mean? Should I leave out one of the jobs which needs doing in order to give substantially more?

JenniferEccles Wed 10-Oct-18 12:44:11

watermeadow (what a lovely name!) I'm wondering who you are selling your garden to? Are there plans to build on it, and are you happy to have another property in what was your garden?

I guess you have thought it all out though. As someone else said, equity release might be an alternative option.
It would be a question of working out all the pros and cons of either idea.

I agree with everyone else regarding sacrificing some essential maintenance work on your house to give some money to your daughters. No!

jeanie99 Wed 10-Oct-18 09:50:30

If you are having to sell your garden to do essential repairs to your property to make it sound I would have thought your daughters would be horrified to think you were making a gift to them when you were in such hardship.
Make your home comfortable for yourself, the property will be theirs when you are no longer with them.
Just a second thought
I assume you have taken advice from an agent of the value of your property when the garden is reduced.
Good size gardens can sell a property but tiny gardens with large properties may be difficult to sell.

HildaW Mon 08-Oct-18 11:29:31

Equity Release is not a good idea. Its basically a reverse mortgage and will leave you with many more problems and your dependents with nothing.

NudeJude Thu 04-Oct-18 02:33:00

I notice that no one has suggested releasing equity from your property. I don't know too much about it, but it might be worth looking into rather than selling part of your garden. On the other hand, if your cottage is tiny, but you have a massive garden, and perhaps can no longer cope with the work involved, then selling part of it might ease your burden, and shouldn't harm the value of your property. As for your children, I'm sure they'd far rather you be comfortable.

gilld69 Wed 03-Oct-18 08:02:00

speaking as a daughter keep the money for whatever you may need in the future or treat yourself, my parents never treated themselves they saved every penny for retirement and our inheritance, i wish theyd enjoyed themselves instead as they both died early 60s im sure your daughters would rather you be comfortable and have a bit put by for a rainy day x

Apricity Tue 02-Oct-18 23:43:21

Also worth remembering that whatever maintenance, repairs or improvements you are planning for your house will inevitably cost much more than the original estimates. In my experience it's a case of think of a number then double it.

If you want to stay where you are then do what is required, treat yourself to some comforts, put aside reasonable sums for future property maintenance, health issues, personal assistance and miscellaneous expenses and IF there is a enough money left then consider gifts to family. This is not being mean this is being sensible and prudent. Your family will inherit the benfits of your careful planning in the fullness of time. But I do hope you enjoy your more comfortable house for many more years.

Saetana Tue 02-Oct-18 22:06:07

Seriously? Get the work on your house done - adult children should not expect handouts nor should you give them in your straightened circumstances. If you leave a repair that needs doing in order to gift money to your children then that job will still need doing and will cost far more in the long run than it would to get it done now. I am more than happy for my parents, and my husband's mother, to spend all their money and equity - we have no expectations and nor should there be. Cannot understand people who make their own lives worse to gift money to their children - how much of a martyr do you want to be?

Diana54 Tue 02-Oct-18 21:35:13

Forget about daughters for a moment, you definitely need to speak to an estate agent about the value of the whole plot, that would depend entirely on its size and location.

For instance if you are getting on in years it might be a better plan to sell the lot and move into a smaller more convenient property. Watch out for tax traps if you sell part of your property, a small amount spent on professional advice might save you many thousands!.

blue60 Tue 02-Oct-18 20:38:51

Not mean - very generous!

HurdyGurdy Tue 02-Oct-18 20:12:28

If the boot were on the other foot, and your daughters were the ones fretting about not being able to give you very much, what would your reaction be? I'm sure you would be encouraging them to use ALL the money on their intended project.

And I guarantee that's exactly what your daughters would be urging you to do, if they were aware of your current ponderings.

And has been said above, they will benefit eventually from the well-repaired and maintained house.

watermeadow Tue 02-Oct-18 18:42:58

I have to laugh at downsizing, my house is a 2 up 2 down cottage and I doubt the daughters will inherit, it will have to be sold to pay for my care in my dotage.
The daughters don’t expect anything, I just want to give them an unexpected present. They are no better off than I am.
Thanks everyone for comments.

4allweknow Tue 02-Oct-18 18:17:05

The fact you are having to do what you intend to enable you to live in your house should tell you that you don't need to give any money at all at this time. You can always bequeath your property to your DDs who will then benefit from that.

Aepgirl Tue 02-Oct-18 17:36:42

I'm sure your daughter's would rather you spent your money on improvements to make your life more pleasant. No doubt they will inherit from you eventually, but in the meantime you will be comfortable.

sarahellenwhitney Tue 02-Oct-18 16:57:55

CarleyD7
The amount of outside space is what can sell a property as adding extra rooms if that is what a prospective purchaser is looking for can be accommodated by this.
Think twice.

Houseseller Tue 02-Oct-18 15:35:54

Hi Watermelon, I sold off part of my garden 3 years ago. Best thing I did. I thought I would have trouble selling the house but not at all. I ended up gaining much more than selling the garden and the house together. I gave my children a £1000 each and the Grandchildren £500. They were delighted with the windfall. I’m sure they wouldn’t have expect more.

Lumarei Tue 02-Oct-18 13:35:43

I would speak to an estate agent and get a quote for the house and garden in its current state, then the projected price for the house when garden is sold but renovated. Will the tastefully renovated house be worth the same as the current house (needing repairs) with garden? In other words will you still have the same assets.

If you are intent on helping your family financially, then I would try and get this decision right as they will ultimately get your assets. It may be bettter to sell and buy again (therefore avoiding a lot of decisions and stress) bearing in mind that you need to add stamp duty to the equation.

If you decide to sell the garden only and renovate the house, please do not cut corners and safe money by doing a poor job on the house as that will diminish the value of your property even more and whilst your children may get a £1000 now, they may lose out far more when they inherit.

Unless one of the children has fallen on very hard times and their livelihood (losing their home or is very ill) is at stake there is no need to worry for them. Also please always keep money back for essential repairs to avoid anxiety in the future.

Lancslass1 Tue 02-Oct-18 13:03:15

Good for you,.Watermeadow.
Go for it and treat yourself.

mabon1 Tue 02-Oct-18 11:35:03

Just do it. I bet your daughters couldn't give a damn about inheritance, they will just want you to be happy and secure, go for it!!!

Camelotclub Tue 02-Oct-18 11:13:36

How can you sell just a garden? Will they build on it?

knspol Tue 02-Oct-18 10:55:59

You've looked after your children all your life. The time we all have left is diminishing so make sure your time is spent without any unnecessary worries regarding the state of your house. Get all the repairs done and then keep the remaining money yourself, spend some, save some - you never know what you might need in the future. Time enough for children to receive anything that might be left after you've gone. Make your own life comfortable after all it's most likely what would make your children the happiest.

JanaNana Tue 02-Oct-18 10:53:21

I think they are lucky that you are going to be giving them any money from this. This is not a windfall you have received but selling off your garden ( which as a keen gardener myself would grieve me to do so) . Think about all of these large jobs that you can at last have done to make your life as comfortable as possible. Your daughters' will probably be happy just to know that at last you can have your home as you want it, and not struggle now to do it. You could have a few family treats out together once it's all done, without giving them all a lot of money.

Jane43 Tue 02-Oct-18 10:37:17

Yes as annsixty said, your home will increase in value through the improvements you are planning and hopefully that will benefit your daughters in the long term. I’m sure they would want you to hold on to any money you have left afterwards and I’m sure they appreciate everything you do for them which you can’t put a value on.

Willow500 Tue 02-Oct-18 10:36:58

I agree with everyone else - wait until you've done the work - these things often turn out to be over budget so may be more than you've earmarked. If there's any left when it's all finished and you still want to gift your daughters then give them a small sum - just make sure you have some treats from the income too.

breeze Tue 02-Oct-18 10:31:13

Agree with everything CarlyD7 said above. Would add that unless you are selling your land to a neighbour as an allotment or extra garden space and plan to sell to a developer; you may be subjecting yourself to months/years of noisy building work on what used to be your garden. Also end up overlooked. I agree it could be worth considering downsizing to a more maintenance free property. At the very least don't dish out any money to family until the essential work is complete. There is almost always something they uncover when they begin work that pushes the costs up.

Nannan2 Tue 02-Oct-18 10:26:52

Yes others are right,because what if house needs any work in the future?- we often have harsh winters,with gales&floods,etc,and should anything happen,or you need a new boiler or radiators etc,you need the money there ready- or your own future,god forbid,but a lot of older people have to go to sheltered housing or even care homes(not that id wish it for anyone,but you see what i mean)and they need money to fund that too,these days.im sure if you dont need it for anything else then maybe you can gift them something later,if they need it for an emergancy for repairs or some such?and in meantime you can be earning a little interest on it maybe,which will help you all in the long run?or put it in a pension pot?smile