Fed up of worrying about money.

We have 3 severely disabled people in the household and have lived on benefits for over 20 years. My mum died some 13 years ago and left me 10K. DWP then told us we had been overpaid. We sent bank statements and proof of our investments. Some 4 months ago they discovered that we'd been underpaid for 3 years, sending back pay of £12K. We started to pay off our credit cards/loans, which we'd lived on through our period of underpayment. Guess what? Last week we had a letter telling us that because we had over £16,000 in savings, they were stopping our ESA, leaving us with DLA and Attendance Allowance as our only income. The following day we were advised that our Housing Benefits/Council Tax Benefits were being stopped. We immediately wrote appealing both decisions. On Saturday, we received another DWP letter saying they calculated we had £47,000 in savings - in reality with everything counted up, about £14K! - believe me, if we had that sort of money, we would not be paying interest on £20,000 Credit Card/Loan + interest. Since we received our benefit arrears, we have been starting to clear our debts, replacing ancient household appliances and replacing our rented TV with a new one which will pay for itself within 15 months. We don't smoke or drive, only light drinkers, haven't had a holiday in over 30 years, buy clothes only when they wear out etc. and because I'm a saver rather than a spender, have always lived on our benefits, never living beyond our means. Initially I laughed at the £47K assessment, but then my chronic depression kicked in. I have been considering how on earth we can cope, even considering trying to find a job, (I'm almost 75), but can't see where to turn. We've ordered our maybe slightly extravagant Christmas gifts, after 3 years of cheap wish-list books/computer games/CDs, based on our underpayment windfall, but now I don't know how we can afford Christmas, let alone surviving in the New Year. We're keeping our woes to ourselves, because we don't want to worry my 86-year-old MIL but feeling really sick and frightened. Please, everyone, have a word with the "Spirit in the Sky" (whoever you believe in!) that we can find a way to carry on and pay our bills. And any bright ideas would be much appreciated.

When we were first married 50 years ago my husband was studying and I was teaching for a pittance. I wrote everything down - outgoings and incomings and I found as I knew where all the money went I could cut down or not.
I still have this book and it has made me frugal all my life.

As little as 10 years old I had pocket money and clothing money which I kept in two Elastoplast tins. I would go away on holiday with my parents if we could afford it and come back with more than I went with.

Money cannot buy you good health or happiness.

Bopeep14
I think Stella1949 suggested a great idea. The app with tell you exactly what you spend each month so you could put some of the surplus to one side for Christmas.
That's not the whole story. You could look at your bank account, your DDs and other outgoings, to see where money could be saved.
Get better deals on broadband, mobile phone, energy and insurance. If you have lots of data allowance on your mobile but only use data at home (on your bb) get a basic deal which gives you minutes/texts and 1G data. Do you have Sky or Netflix and do you need them?
Have you anything to sell, clothes you don't wear, handbags, scarves, shoes, jewellery (even paste jewellery) homeware. There are always buyers on eBay and I have sold things for silly money such as a pen case for £110 to a buyer in Australia.
Trinkets and ornaments can do well too.
A bit late now to start all this but bear in mind for the new year.
Many shops have sales with > 50% off.
If you buy for friends, try making fancy biscuits and putting them in cellophane bags tied with ribbon. I'm making rum fudge for my girlfriends and bought some handcreams for half price in M&S yesterday which I'll give with the fudge.
So much you can do which costs so little.
If you buy one gift every 2 weeks that's 24, not counting December when you buy your food.
You can do it. Download the app. Start now.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201812/medium-903729-20181212-120003.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201812/medium-668382-20181212-120412.jpg

Some small gifts in M&S.
All half sticker price.

I don't think this will be breaking guidelines, but may be of help to some. www.moneysavingexpert.com/latesttip/?weeklytip=12-12-2018&utm_source=MSE_Newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=11-Dec-18-460-6&utm_campaign=nt-highlights&utm_content=2#bignote1

Stella1949 what is the app you are using please?

Some years ago when I was a single mum money was really tight. Christmas was always aworry for me but I never let it spoil Christmas for myself or my two girls. So, I used to buy up bits and pieces throughout the year - bargains when I came across them (I have a great eye for a bargain) sales were another good one and charity shops often sell “new” goods too and I also did an Avon round and instead of getting my commission in money I would use it to but up gifts. This was all on top of me working 7 days a week just to keep our head above water.

Come Christmas and Birthdays I always had something in my goodie box that was just right for someone.

I couldn’t have done it any other way

Thanks for all your suggestions i only buy for our grand children and inherited grandchildren but there are a lot of them only spend around £30.00 on each of them but with the birthdays in November and December as well i always find it a very expensive, time of year. We have literally cut our expenses to the bone over the last year, just waiting until january and then i can cancel our only luxury sky tv and change to freeview.

Bopeep14. Me too. Keeps me awake. Christmas is awful. My children say don't buy us and the GC anything and that makes me feel worse. I have tried to make home made things for them. The DGC are very sweet about having very small presents like inexpensive books. The worst thing now is that to meet up with my DC I have to travel a long way and it's about £200 in petrol. This year my daughters gave me money towards the petrol. Now I'm crying again because of this. I used to give them money. I feel so awful about this situation.
Does anyone else wear their coat indoors like me? I can't afford to put the heating on.

Tillybelle you sound desperate. Every sympathy
But where on earth are you driving to?
My car is not particularly economical but I can do 2 round trips each of 150 miles to visit DD1 plus an other 50 miles and back again to visit DDs 2 and 3 on a very little more than a tankful about £60 + ish
I reckon I could get to my patents' old home in Scotland on just over a tankful

Tillybelle its awful isnt it, so sorry you are in the situation that you have to wear a coat inside. I bought my mum a slanket a couple of years ago she doesnt use her heating a lot and says the slanket is really warm and cosy. She also uses those halogen heaters swears they are more economical than using her heating all the time, not sure if this is right ir not but they are quite reasonably priced.

Money worries? Yes. I have a very limited income so spend little, if any, money on myself. However, I feel I have all I need so being frugal now so I can put by a little for treats, like Christmas, is sensible planning.

I have friends who spend lots of hair-dos, manicures, pedicures, spa days, new cars etc. I don't even go to the dentist unless I am in pain. I am terrified of getting into debt, so if I don't have the cash to pay for goods or services I wait or go without.

I am splashing out on a lovely family Christmas - it will drain the small savings pot, (and the car needs a service in January) but I am worth it. I have worked hard all my life in very difficult circumstances.

I don't understand people who don't dip into their even meagre savings. You cannot take it with you.

However, being without any sort of back up or safety net is terrifying. I have been there.

I'd suggest examining where your money goes. Mine goes mainly on necessities and bills but I have learnt to cut corners, budget and find alternatives to pricey treats. I do sympathise though. A small income doesn't allow much, if any, wriggle room.

The most logical idea to me would be to cut Christmas back to an enjoyable event that you can afford.
If everyone has a warm bed, running water and some food then there really isn't anything they need.
Not enough to cause angst, anyway.

If you were over 60 in Sept 2009 you can claim the Winter fuel allowance of £200 and if you have anyone living with you who is over 80, that rises to £300, so there is no need to wear coats indoors.

When i first married i had a tin that i used to put money in for the bills, in those days we got paid weekly, what was left over we used on food. We had no luxurys then,no car ,mobile phone, sky tv etc i think i was much less stressed about money then i am sure. I know the grandchildren would not be particularly bothered about what we bought them, after all they get lots of things at christmas from other grandparents who are much more better off than us. We spend more on them for there birthdays as this is there day.

Tillybelle
Would it be cheaper to buy a senior Rail card. You can get buy them for half price with Tesco Clubcard points. For me to drive my rarely used car to mid Wales costs £150 return (according to the AA and my car manual) and takes about 4.5hrs so I bought a split train ticket using my rail card for £50.18p rtn, with reserved seating and choice of departure times. It took longer but worth the saving and no traffic jams or worry.

*missing ? and no 'get.

Buy books from Amazon and bulk buy light bulbs in 10s/12s from Amazon or eBay, fuses too and sheets of tissue for wrapping presents. There are lots of ways to cut costs.

Bopeep14. Look around to observe where your money goes.What can you do without.? You have made a start with your Tv viewing needs.Does your washing machine do economy wash?Only iron what is necessary What do you spend on food and do you use your own car to go shopping.Look on the internet to see what retailers have on special and some give free delivery on a certain spend. Presents need more thought. Do you not save a small amount throughout the year in a savings account which gives interest ?.Even the smallest amount is better than nothing.Can you save on your gas and electric bills. How many lights do you need on at the same time?.Wear more clothes instead of turning up your heating. Nothing happens overnight, &, instead of worrying use your energy on positive thinking and that you can improve your financial situation with a bit of thought.

Stella1949....what app is that? I’d like to download it!

My best suggestion is, if possible, to put £1 a day into a tin and do not touch it for any reason and the by next Christmas you will have at least £365 to put towards Christmas.

TellNo1OK
I use an app called money control. There are quite a few different ones available and most of them are free but give you an option to upgrade which you have to pay for.
Hope this helps

Stella must have gone out to buy ?

Hi Bopeep.
Go online and look at the Martin Lewis website. It is full of ideas and suggestions for people worrying about the cost of Christmas. I have just read it and it has some absolutely brilliant ideas.

Totally understand you worrying I work full time I'm over 60 but feel money is a worry and though I manage to keep my head above water Christmas is a big worry more than half of my wage goes on rent and council tax so after bills I have nothing left for extras I must admit I look at others not working and sometimes think I'm no better off by working