Fed up of worrying about money.

Stella1949 what is the app you are using please?

I don't think this will be breaking guidelines, but may be of help to some. www.moneysavingexpert.com/latesttip/?weeklytip=12-12-2018&utm_source=MSE_Newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=11-Dec-18-460-6&utm_campaign=nt-highlights&utm_content=2#bignote1

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201812/medium-903729-20181212-120003.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201812/medium-668382-20181212-120412.jpg

Some small gifts in M&S.
All half sticker price.

Bopeep14
I think Stella1949 suggested a great idea. The app with tell you exactly what you spend each month so you could put some of the surplus to one side for Christmas.
That's not the whole story. You could look at your bank account, your DDs and other outgoings, to see where money could be saved.
Get better deals on broadband, mobile phone, energy and insurance. If you have lots of data allowance on your mobile but only use data at home (on your bb) get a basic deal which gives you minutes/texts and 1G data. Do you have Sky or Netflix and do you need them?
Have you anything to sell, clothes you don't wear, handbags, scarves, shoes, jewellery (even paste jewellery) homeware. There are always buyers on eBay and I have sold things for silly money such as a pen case for £110 to a buyer in Australia.
Trinkets and ornaments can do well too.
A bit late now to start all this but bear in mind for the new year.
Many shops have sales with > 50% off.
If you buy for friends, try making fancy biscuits and putting them in cellophane bags tied with ribbon. I'm making rum fudge for my girlfriends and bought some handcreams for half price in M&S yesterday which I'll give with the fudge.
So much you can do which costs so little.
If you buy one gift every 2 weeks that's 24, not counting December when you buy your food.
You can do it. Download the app. Start now.

When we were first married 50 years ago my husband was studying and I was teaching for a pittance. I wrote everything down - outgoings and incomings and I found as I knew where all the money went I could cut down or not.
I still have this book and it has made me frugal all my life.

As little as 10 years old I had pocket money and clothing money which I kept in two Elastoplast tins. I would go away on holiday with my parents if we could afford it and come back with more than I went with.

Money cannot buy you good health or happiness.

We have 3 severely disabled people in the household and have lived on benefits for over 20 years. My mum died some 13 years ago and left me 10K. DWP then told us we had been overpaid. We sent bank statements and proof of our investments. Some 4 months ago they discovered that we'd been underpaid for 3 years, sending back pay of £12K. We started to pay off our credit cards/loans, which we'd lived on through our period of underpayment. Guess what? Last week we had a letter telling us that because we had over £16,000 in savings, they were stopping our ESA, leaving us with DLA and Attendance Allowance as our only income. The following day we were advised that our Housing Benefits/Council Tax Benefits were being stopped. We immediately wrote appealing both decisions. On Saturday, we received another DWP letter saying they calculated we had £47,000 in savings - in reality with everything counted up, about £14K! - believe me, if we had that sort of money, we would not be paying interest on £20,000 Credit Card/Loan + interest. Since we received our benefit arrears, we have been starting to clear our debts, replacing ancient household appliances and replacing our rented TV with a new one which will pay for itself within 15 months. We don't smoke or drive, only light drinkers, haven't had a holiday in over 30 years, buy clothes only when they wear out etc. and because I'm a saver rather than a spender, have always lived on our benefits, never living beyond our means. Initially I laughed at the £47K assessment, but then my chronic depression kicked in. I have been considering how on earth we can cope, even considering trying to find a job, (I'm almost 75), but can't see where to turn. We've ordered our maybe slightly extravagant Christmas gifts, after 3 years of cheap wish-list books/computer games/CDs, based on our underpayment windfall, but now I don't know how we can afford Christmas, let alone surviving in the New Year. We're keeping our woes to ourselves, because we don't want to worry my 86-year-old MIL but feeling really sick and frightened. Please, everyone, have a word with the "Spirit in the Sky" (whoever you believe in!) that we can find a way to carry on and pay our bills. And any bright ideas would be much appreciated.

It’s quite hard when you have enough money to keep the wolf from the door but nothing over for extras. We seem to be bombarded from all directions as to what we “need”to have. Christmas falls into this category. I would suggest making a list of people you want to buy for and each month keep a look out for reduced items and put them away each month. Start with Christmas card sales in January.

Just watched the video. Too too true. My family now do a Secret Santa. I am so relieved and all of us are happy with the arrangement.

You beat me to it David1968
I was going to suggest moneysavingexpert.
They have forums where you can discuss your finances.
Catalogues are an expensive way to purchase goods, even if the repayments are appealing.
I know it is easily said but I would never go down this route, though my long departed mother relied heavily on them as she was raising my siblings and I.
Living on your credit cards is another expensive way to conduct your finances.
Been there done that. I used the personal loan rate, choosing one that only charged interest during the loan. If you repaid early you only paid interest up to the date you settled.
There are very low rates of interest available at present.
I would use on to pay off a credit card if it was worthwhile.
Take advice from all agencies mentioned.
Subscribe to Martin Lewis’s weekly newsletter. Full of helpful tips covering all aspects of family finances and I can’t recommend their forums highly enough.
I knew what it is like to be under financial stress whilst raising a family.
I wish you well and hope that you have a happy Christmas.

Barclays is going to put the blockers on those who overspend. I haven't read fully of what their intentions are as I just glanced at what they had to say about it.

Martin Lewsi is talking a lot of sense about Christmas spending, on his Blog. See: blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2018/12/martin-lewis--how-to-go-christmas-cold-turkey/?utm_source=MSE_Newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=11-Dec-18-459-8&utm_campaign=nt-hiya&utm_content=3

A suggestion for christmas 2019, Park Hampers are an excellent way to save for christmas. You decide how much you can afford to pay each month, pay by DD then at the beginning of November, you get that amount in gift cards or vouchers, too many to list here.
Alternately, Amazon have a similar scheme where you pay a set amount per month but you can only spend it at Amazon on line.
Local supermarkets sell gift cards to a wide variety of stores, including their own starting a a very reasonable £10 per card. Maybe adding one or two to your monthly/weekly shop and saving them until Christmas might be an idea.
I live on a very restricted budget and use these methods to pay for christmas and birthdays. Charity shops after Christmas are always full of gift sets and unwanted gifts, not to mention sales. This means you never, or rarely, need to pay full price for gifts.

Stella1949
Could you possibly give us the name of your budgeting app... I could certainly benefit from it.... Thanks

Children don't need too many gifts. They are just as happy with less. Instead give them your time. Bake with them or take them to the park. When i was a child i loved my gran who spent a lot of time playing with me but could not afford to buy me much far more than the generous gift giving granny who we rarely saw.

What is the name of the app Stella1949? It sounds very useful

Allsortsofbags, good post

I have a lot of folk I buy for around 25 most years some theres extra ,so I buy all year .It spreads the cost and makes life simpler.Thankfully my AC both do the same andwe're all finished buying and wrapping by the end of November

.That just leaves the food shop and I'll buy joints of meat and turkey crown early and freeze them ,christmas cakes ,and what we call "bun" madeira cake ,sultana cake and cherry cake and shortbread are all home made so cheaper than buying
.Its worthwhile doing the all year shOpping as you can pick up bargains and put them away.
Try to start in the January sales and you'll be surprised how many things you can get for a fraction of the cost .And dont worry ,deal with the problem and the anxiety will go .Happy Christmas when it comes and have a great 2019

It's an awful time to be worried and so many people are in similar situations. Is your peace of mind worth trading because it's this time of the year?

Because before we know it Easter will be upon us and there will be plenty of other events to put pressure on finances so think long term.

Think about your state of mind, your day to day life and take care of those before "things".

I think budgeting is an easy thing to think about, an easy thing to agree to and often difficult to do.

One of the hardest things I had to teach our DD was that when anything is bough on any kind of credit the credit costs. And that money is out of use for your future needs.

It's a hard lesson, a bitter lesson and even if it's a lesson that's understood there is still pressure internally or externally go use credit.

Credit can cost way more than you think. Not just in reduced funds but in the worry, stress and lack of peace - that's a cost too.

So whatever the credit be that cards, catalogue or any other kind of loan look at the real cost.

Then ask yourself when everything is taken into account do you want to keep the things you've bough or can you send them back.

How much will that ? gift ? really cost if it takes a year at ???? % to clear the card, loan, catalogue and then ask yourself would you buy it at that price?

Would you family want you to be this worried ? If you are feeing this worried and down now how much worse will it be in the coming months?

What can you change to make your situation better?

Because sadly you are in for much more heartache if you don't do something.

Be that getting advice from the agencies mentioned here or returning the goods or looking at a better way to finance things. What about a Credit Union loan?

I wish you all the Luck you need to find some relief from your situation.

I have heard a lot of talk recently about folk cutting right back on presents for adults and just concentrating on the children in the family.

I think it's important to be honest with your family Bopeep14. Tell them that you are getting very stressed about the expense at this time of the year. I'm sure no-one would want you to worry.

I think many of us have been/still are in this situation. As far as I have ever found out the choice is to either reduce expenditure or increase income. Preferably both. I honestly don't know any other way through. Christmas does pressure people to spend more than they have, but there is always a reckoning. As has been suggested a budget is essential, the hard part is sticking to it.

If you are not poor and you have a partner working F/T, then maybe you are worrying unnecessarily - or living beyond your means!! Perhaps the two of you need a budgeting meeting together to create a situation where you do not have to worry so much.

I only live on my pension not even a full one but my house is paid for so I feel I m reasonably ok but I think by others standards I m probably a bit poor I don’t have big needs or expensive ideas all I really want is enough to buy the grandkids things Most buys for me and the house come from charity shops I love recycling I don’t smoke I ride a cycle and don’t have central heating Cars fags and heating seem to be people’s big bills, I really don’t worry only on occasions when something breaks I still save up for things and never use a credit card it’s not worth worrying about
If you have debts or concerns do go to CAB they are brilliant at helping

No we are not poor, other half works full time. We don’t drink or smoke. We have no savings. We have no disposable income and I just am fed up of worrying about it, like you gillybob we rely heavily on credit cards in emergencies, have bought all the grandchildren’s Christmas presents from a catalogue so I can pay for it over a few months as there is no way I could afford to go out and buy them outright. It just gets me down that’s all. I always like to give a few presents to a local children’s charity as well but things are so tight I don’t know if I am even going to be able to do that this year.

Oopsd - my link did not show up. Here it is; www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

I find finances sneaky.
When I have had a (small) “cushion “ of savings behind me, it has usually remained untapped, but when there was none and times were at their tightest the car/washing machine/plumbing or whatever would start to play up as if they were ganging up on me. Mum bailed me out occasionally but not without an ear bashing about “never a borrower nor a lender be”. To be fair my parents did manage on a very limited income and never ever borrowed, not even a mortgage, as Dad bought their little house for cash before the war, and like many of their generation they had a horror of any sort of debt.
If you can build up that small “cushion” you might feel easier in your mind.
But easier said than done I know.