Making new will

Our wills left everything to each other then after we both die, to be split 90% between our two children then 10% to my DHs son in Oz (who was adopted by ex wife's husband to allow him to travel out there in 1970). As DH never hears from this son and it would make the split more awkward, he decided to drop him from the will so now any proceeds would be split equally between our two kids.

Anyway as a new will just meant leaving this son off I decided to make up our wills myself by just copying the former ones. Got them witnessed by two people and £400 saved.

Yes, it is wise to name the children as eventual heirs if the parent dies. If you name a spouse instead, that could be messy if that spouse also dies, or the couple divorce and possibly remarry.

Of course it is entirely up to you, and your solicitor should be able to advise and ensure that your wishes are met in the will. But I agree with those who would opt for a simple equal split between your children. It’s then up to them what they share with their own children, if they have them. Anything else could lead to a child feeling that they’ve been treated differently because they have no/fewer children. Of course you need to stipulate that the share of any child that pre-deceases you goes to their children.

Oh yes, I agree with that, littleflo, even if the grandchildren are adults. If there are several GC, Their ages, needs and circumstances will vary, and more may come along, or step-children be added to the mix. It's likely to cause fewer problems if the parents (our children) are left to spread it down the line as and when they see fit.

I have seen many arguments when money is left to Grandchildren. Unequal numbers, different financial circumstances, new partners with children and more babies born after the Will is made.

It will save a lot of this if everything is divided equally between your children and they are left to pass the money on.

Looking at it from the other side, as a widow, I'd have been hurt and upset if my husband had not trusted me enough to leave everything to me. I want to be able to choose freely how to use my assets, and my circumstances may change. I may need to pay for care, or home adjustments, as I get older. I may want to spend on private medical care if the NHS lets me down. If I were to marry again (very unlikely), it would be up to me then to ensure that my children were not deprived of all their inheritance, and that's what I would do.

Stella, but what if he remarries and leaves everything to his new wife so that your children get nothing. That is what happened to me even though I had a close relationship with my father. He also changed his will without telling me for three years and then I was sworn to secrecy not to tell his wife, as she didn't want me to know. He said she had sworn to leave everything to me on her death. Six months after he died she moved a new man into the house and cut ties with me. The better course is to leave a life interest to spouse and then to children.

I'm not keen on the idea of leaving a house "half to the surviving spouse and half to the AC or whoever". That leaves the surviving spouse in the unenviable position of relying on her adult children to "allow" him/ her to sell up, move or whatever she/ he wants to do in their old age.

I've left our home entirely to DH. If he predeceases me it goes to the adult children.

If you don’t leave a will, your daughters will be legally obliged to follow the rules of intestacy rather than your statement of wishes. Although there’s a good chance that intestacy law will match your wishes, the unexpected can happen and it would be better to guard against that by leaving a will. It doesn’t have to be expensive if your wishes are simple and estate small, a friend bought a will form online to do a will dividing everything equally between her children (or grandchildren if their parent had predeceased her). She just needed to get it witnessed.

On the subject of grandchildren in wills, we recently redid our wills to remove the grandchildren and just bequeath to our children. This was on solicitor’s advice as we have lots of grandchildren and great grandchildren and more continue to arrive. We also have three step grandchildren which complicated matters rather. We do though have a letter of wishes which makes it clear that we would like our adult children to make some provision for their own children and grand children out of their share. We are content for them to decide what that provision should be.

My assets will probably amount to about £35 so I’m reluctant to pay £200 for a proper will.
I’m tempted to give each daughter the same statement of my wishes (eg a quarter share each) and trust them to sort it out between themselves.
Is there anything wrong with this?

Difficult one regarding the GC as mine are nearly all grown up now and starting having babies of their own and so the circle turns?.
I’m not sure what to do to be honest just leave it to my 3 AC or designate some to the GC and GrtGC, there are already twelve with 2 more GrtGC on the way so there are lots of them.

I'm going to chime in with those who say that including the gc is too complicated. Imo, it is better just to divide your assets between your dc and let them decide what to give/leave to the gc. Also, I agree with the idea of including clauses about what happens if any of your dc predecease you or if they predecease the gc. In fact, your solicitor will probably advise you of this.

I can see leaving some funds for each gc in a trust to become available to them at a designated age. But including them as beneficiaries to the house, imo, is very tricky.

However, it is up to you. And yes, your solicitor can advise you better than any of us. Good luck!

I make that threat regularly, it gets me nowhere

Seriously p****d with my not so dear daughter today! Might cut her out of my will. That’ll larn ‘er!

Now I feel better.

We have organised our wills so that every share is expressed in percentages. We have left 1% of our estate to each grandchild. another % to godchildren and to a niece, and so on.

Only one of our AC is married with children. The other is determinedly single and childless and approaching the menopause. She has made it absolutely clear that we are free to leave as much of our estate as we wish to the DGC and she will not consider herself cheated in any way.

Thank you, lots of food for thought here. Will have a good discussion with the solicitor and not make a hasty decision.

sometimes you wish you had chosen something different. Arhh!

Whatever you choose to do you will probably find that sometimes you had chosen something different. I know I do. In some ways it's nice that DH says 'whatever you think' but that's really a cop out leaving me with a lot of responsibility I don't particularly want and occasionally murmurings once the wills are signed. When I say 'we can always change things' its apparently too much trouble.

I have decided for now to feel we've done our best and must hope for the best but do sometimes feel we should make some changes.

I think it’s nice to leave something direct to grandchildren, who do not necessarily need to be named, thus allowing fir any others born after the Will was made. Just a small percentage of the estate perhaps, especially if you have a close relationship with them. It’s more personal than leaving the parents to decide as they see fit.

Just a point of interest. In the above case where only half the house is left to the surviving spouse, what happens if that person wishes to move, maybe nearer to AC or into a retirement complex for example.?Are they relying on the goodwill of AC to agree to the move?

Leaving assets to grandchildren has another complication: if they inherit before they are adults, there needs to be some arrangement for the money to be held in trust for them. Why not leave the assets to your own children, and let them share the money with their children as and when they think fit?

If you're leaving a proportion of a house, there will need to be some rules about who decides whether and when it is to be sold. Your solicitor should advise you on this.

You can specify what you mean by grandchildren - to make sure that any additions are covered. (or not), without actually naming them.

per stirpes
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Per_stirpes

Are you sure you need to do this? We too had “mirror wills” but in the event of either partner predeceasing the other, (which happened) we each left everything to our three children and in the event of any of the children predeceasing either of us, their children would get their share of their mother’s share if you see what I mean. I believe the phrase is ex stirpes
I’ll post the explanation.

There are always going to be anomalies and unborn children are one of those, you cannot anticipate the future and there are always going to be surprises and disappointments.
Make modest individual bequests and leave the bulk of the estate divided equally between loved ones is a good way of doing it. Disputes over wills are common and lawyers get rich!