At Wits' End re. POA

So, just to give you an update, my dad went to the solicitor today. My mum waited in the waiting room and after 15 mins, she was called in. Turns out my dad hadn't mentioned POA at all (he'd forgotten) and had just been talking about his will (which is all sorted and has been for ages). So, my mum explained the situation and the very nice solicitor explained very clearly and simply, why it might be a good idea to have a POA. My dad seemed to understand and agree (first question was 'how much is it going to cost?') and he's got 2 weeks to think about it now. Another meeting has been arranged for the beginning of May. Feels like some progress has been made. Thanks for all your advice.

Thanks Susan56. It will be interesting to see if he's declared competent! He can be perfectly lucid and 'on the ball' but at other times he is very confused. So it will depend. But thanks for the info.

hellymart,we had a similar situation with my grandma.It was possible to sort POA without going through the courts.Obviously was more complicated and lengthy to do than if she had sorted it herself but was all done through the solicitor.
When my mum set up her POA many years ago as she didn’t want us to have to deal with a situation like my grandma’s,her own solicitor had to declare her competent and also a second solicitor who didn’t know her had to confirm that she was competent.She had to attend the competency part of the appointment on her own then my husband sat with her for the rest of the appointment but wasn’t allowed to speak.
I would suggest call the solicitors office and ask the secretary to pass on your concerns although as others have said the solicitor will realise the situation.
It will get sorted,may just take a longer,less direct route.

What I meant is that a Deputyship is much more restricted to operate, expensive to set up and takes a long time.

It is the only way really notanan

No its not. There is also deputyship. Which is more expensive and wont necessarily go to family, but thats right for some people.

Thank you Septimia, for your response. He's due to see the solicitor in the morning, so it's too late for us to give the solicitor any information now but it's only the first meeting, so we'll just have to see how it goes, I suppose. I can understand it must be frightening which is why, I suppose, it's important to do these things before you start getting vulnerable.

We managed to get a friend who is a retired medic to talk to my FiL. He knew her, so fortunately felt he could trust her. We knew he wouldn't be keen on the POA, but she realised it was a good idea because of his Alzheimer's. I explained some of the technicalities (I wasn't a direct beneficiary in his will) then left her to talk it over with him so that he wouldn't feel we were forcing him into it. The friend persuaded him relatively easily. It's worth remembering that he only needs to understand what it is he's doing at the time he's doing it. We didn't use a solicitor, but perhaps ensuring that your father's solicitor is aware of his medical condition will mean that said solicitor will be sympathetic to the circumstances.
We found the POA very useful, so I hope you are successful in getting one in place.

Thanks for your comments. Yes, I think he does feel frightened but even before the diagnosis, he was secretive and careful with his money, so it's not surprising that he's being like this. We will have to see what happens. But as I'm sure many of you realise, if there's no POA, if anything happens, there would be no way of paying for care, etc without applying to the courts, which is lengthy and expensive.

Perhaps your father feels frightened. Others have suggested letting the Solicitor know in advance which is very good idea but he/she is likely to find out for themselves that your father can hardly see or hear.

This sense of suspicion can be a sign of dementia. I paid my aunt and uncle's fees for two months before we got the POA, fortunately I could afford to. He had signed the cheque for the two of them for one month but the amount was so high (in his mind) he thought he had bought the place and we could not get him to sign any further cheques. He had a diagnosis of dementia.

It is the only way really notanan

The truth is that not everyone does trust their loved ones to be POA. Just because he is resisting it doesnt mean he is making the wrong decision for him. It is not the only way.

This is why we should all get round to sorting out our POAs (health and financial), while we are of sound mind. Mine is in my drawer....must get that done sooner rather than later. No need for solicitors.....we can complete the forms ourselves. (Ofcourse hellymart's father definitely needs a solicitor)

A diagnosis does not necessarily mean that he lacks capability!!

I'd leave it to the solicitor , making sure that the solicitor is aware of the situation.

It may well be that it's too late as he has already had a diagnosis. However he would need to see the solicitor alone anyway, to make sure that he understands what is going on and that there is no coercion involved. That fact that he has made an appointment is a good sign.

I would contact the solicitor and explain the situation and possibly bring a letter from his doctor. It may come to having him declared incompetent. I know it's a road no one wants to take, but sometimes necessary to protect others (his wife mainly).