no income

I feel like I am a second class citizen. A woman who brought a family up and has to ask the husband for any pennies. In the case of his bday anniversary christmas etc I cant go and buy anything is secret
Not all that unusual for many of us.
Roughly how I felt when our children were small, and I did not go back to work until the youngest started school, not that I had to ask for any money, but I did feel I was buying DH’s birthday or Christmas present out of his money. Fortunately he did not see things that way as everything went into the joint account, but I also used to save my Family Allowance for little extras!
Sorry OP, while I do sympathise because money is clearly tight, I do not see your situation as so very different from what most women of our age have experienced in one way or another.

Now you have also got me wondering what tax rates have been since I was married in 1970!
Quite hard to find out (goodness knows where those pay slips have gone), but I did find this :

The Government of Margaret Thatcher, who favoured indirect taxation, reduced personal income tax rates during the 1980s. In the first budget after her election victory in 1979, the basic rate was reduced from 33% to 30%. The basic rate was also cut for three successive budgets – to 29% in the 1986 budget, 27% in 1987 and to 25% in 1988. Under the government of John Major the basic rate was reduced in stages to 23% by 1997

Not advocating anything as I think it was appalling that my mother was entirely dependent on my father for money, but that was the way -“ autre temps, autre moeurs” - But she (somehow) used to squirrel away whatever she could from either the housekeeping or what was referred to as her “pocket money” - I know! She saved for the little extras which Dad did not necessarily deem essential - nice china or crystal, a new handbag or accessories, trips to the theatre for her and me, the occasional luxury, even a tiny nest egg. Dad was not mean and they saved hard for foreign holidays back in the day when that was considered quite unusual in their wee Scottish town.
But I wish I had my mother’s skill with money. Somehow she could make every penny count

It’s now a very different story you are not controlled by a husband holding the purse strings, This man who you have to beg for pennies from you now say is hard worker and good man
So it must be down to management you say you have worked, and you have had a number of benefits over the years so I don’t know why you ve got no money of your own only you and your man know the reasons you are living in poverty

Lily, I understand completely- Not everyone prepares- In fact here in the US a great many have not prepared- Not because it's impossible but because they were never taught to manage finances properly- In fact according to recently released reports credit card debt is increasing- So you are not alone- No matter where you live- People work hard their entire lives and feel like somehow there should be more money to show for it but there's not -

Certainly if 1000 doesn't cover items you might like to buy the 1000 isb getting used to cover necessary expenses?

Lilylavender - sorry you find yourself in this position but only you can get yourself out of it. You have brought up five children, two of whom remain at home and pay board. The first thing to do is to establish exactly what components are in your husband's pension because even if he is only getting a few pounds a week because he is married, those pounds are YOURS. If you were to leave him they would be removed.
The second thing is to seek an hour of free advice with a solicitor because if you feel like you are having to beg your husband for pennies this has clearly set a culture within your marriage which is not appropriate in this day and age. And the third thing is for you to do as Daisymae says and ask your two sons for a rise in their board arrangements.

I would suggest you go to the CAB or contact the Benefits Office to see if you are entitled to anything more.
Other than that, or upping your sons’ contribution there does not seem to be any alternative.
You still do not explain why your husband seems to hold the purse strings- his pension is your money as much as his.
Do you not have a joint account?
Were he to predecease you, not having access to the bank account could be a nightmare as these are frozen until probate is granted.

The Married Woman's stamp was a con.

You and your husband should have a joint account with joint access to family money. He couldn’t have worked and gained a pension if you weren’t there for the 5 children!

The principle would be reasonable if women had been equal through their working lives. They weren't, so it isn't. Men were paid more (sometimes for the same work), got more promotions, were more likely to be full-time, and more likely to pay into occupational pensions. Cheaper NI stamps for married women disadvantaged millions when it came to pensions. Even now, the gender pay gap across various sectors is insane. At my last workplace it was something like 24%.

Against this backdrop, increasing women's SPA in the name of fairness and equality is laughable.

Changes could have been phased in gradually, and made clear to people at the start of their working lives, so that they were fully aware of what their state pension age would be, and could plan accordingly.

Well my family circumstances has little bearing on my query. I was saying if I was not jn receipt of pip I would have no,personal income paid into my bank account. I apologise for not laying bare my circs but i was only querying whether I can claim anything myself. Pip can end again anytime as it did and I had to fight for it. Ots easy tod say you shoild have worked and prepared. As i said when hubby worked the tax rate was 33% so we werent left with much and had to claim tax credits. I worked part time most of the years and my wage was deducted from tax credits i had no thought that pension age would rise. I am not the oracle.
I,put on th OP all i wanted anyone to know. You now onow we werw on low income. Hubby had cancer and he does not control me. Sorry to have joined

The principle is reasonable but the women affected should have been given far more notice and there is surely a limit on retirement age - it's all very well for MPs but those in physically demanding jobs cannot be expected to work until they drop from exhaustion.

LilyL I think, unfortunately in your initial post the way you explained your predicament led a lot of us to misinterpret both your situation and your circumstances.

Later posts have clarified that, but we can only respond to what we read. This does happen now and again, Partly I think for the praiseworthy reason that the OP doesn't want to write an enormous long screed, which can be very off putting and often because in the heat of the moment in dashing off a post only half what is going through your mind gets put in writing.

Now you have filled in the gaps, things look a bit clearer. My reaction, is now much as MawB's. In a changing world there is no good reason why women should get their pension any earlier than their partners.

Obviously when the adjustments are made it will make life difficult for an unfortunate cohort of women, but how else can it be done?

Having said that, I think the government has handled the situation very badly indeed and some women have been most unfairly treated, but the principle seems reasonable.

I think - but have no way of knowing - that Lilylavender was really only commenting on the waspi position but managed to put both too much and too little personal detail in her OP.

If this is the case I can only agree that this (the change in pension age) was done in a very unfair way and badly communicated to the people concerned.

I assume you want something for nothing because you said that you do . 'Stopgap money', 'money of our own' etc.

You also said that you hadn't ever worked, so it's moving the goalposts to say that actually you worked on market stalls and in shops. First you said you had to ask for pennies, but now you say you have over £1000 a month coming in. It's confusing to say the least.

If you think I sound righteous, that's your right; but my comments were based on what you said in your OP - what else was anyone to do? I also said that your choice to stay at home with your children (which you said that you had done) was made at a time when women expected pensions at 60, and that it would be unfair to move the goalposts now.

Lily ,the thing is ,you have to prepare for being over 60 ..so one way or another you should have made provision for a time when you couldn't work.Thats what most people do .I'm still working at 65 and 6 months still paying NI .Have other financial things in place so we have the same or damn near it income as we've always had .Its called financial planning ! That is the way to have your own money .Anyone who was in a higher tax bracket who didn't prepare for their future was negligent .Sorry to be harsh but you somewhat mislead us all by your OP .

Just read your subsequent posts Lilylavender which give a rather different picture.
I'm not really sure now what the problem is as it seems you do have money of your own in the form of the PIP.

I'm out too.

I was saying why do we not get any noney of our own over 60

I'm sorry Lilylavender I just don't understand your question and your recent update has confused me even further. What money is it that you think you should be given; for what and by whom? If your hacked off that your state retirement pension age has been put back, like the 500,000 other WASPI women who are in the same boat, then all you can do is support the Back to 60 campaign and hope for a good outcome from the judicial review in October. Personally, I'm not holding my breath on that one......

At the risk of being shot down LilyL why should women have got their pension 5 years before men when our life expectancy was longer - once the statistics were no longer affected by the numbers dying in childbirth?
I think equality works both ways and while those “caught” in the gap have my full sympathy I see no justification for women to receive any more than men at age 60 - or 65 or whatever the retirement age has become.
What that age is, is another argument altogether

You sound very cynical etheltbags, as if men have been a constant disappointment to you.

Hopefully I don't think most people feel like that and look on marriage or living together, having children together is a partnership with shared responsibilities. Whether or not one partner stays at home to take over those responsibilities and care for the children or both work is surely between each couple. No-one should feel demeaned by being the one who is the home-maker and main carer although I do realise that this is possible less and less nowadays.
If there are elderly or disabled parents to care for, the main role usually falls to the woman too.

How is it different
I was saying why do we not get any noney of our own over 60. Pip has nothing to do with it as i could lose it again next year
Sorry If I offended but i have been hauled over the doals for no reason

Sorry you found your reception unhelpful, LilyL but if you paid your NI stamp when you were working, presumably your pension will come in due course.
You did not make that clear initially, saying that ill health had prevented you from working, so who was to know otherwise.
Other than the wait for your pension, which many are subject to, I am unclear as to what the problem is.
I think you were given some helpful suggestions to ease the financial situation ( a part time job, sons’ rent and contributions to the family budget for instance) so no need to go off in a huff!
My parents and in laws lived hundreds of miles away so no childcare there - I had to wait until the youngest started school before resuming my career and many here have a similar experience.
What did you want or hope to hear?

Thats a whole different story from the first one ,I'm out too

What do,you mean far from straight. I wont air my laundry was just asking anout penaion.

Doodledog
Very righteous arent you ?
How dare you assume I want aomething for nothing. I have worked part time at least most of the kids younger years. Hubby worked days and i worked evenings. I never had my mum to look after them i would never ask so we worked netween us. Hubby came home and I went out. The children were never left with child inders from babyhood. Something everyone does at a drop of a hat now. I am simply stating that its unfair for women like me not only me. Should wait for 4 further years
Sorry If I looked as though I was a drain on your taxes. I also paid in and hubby paid exceptional ampunts when the tax rate was 33%
I am not kept or put on or controlled. I am my own person
Obv this is a judgemental site and not supportive as I thought and will ask to delete my acclint
Thank you