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Legal, pensions and money

Cannot get him to leave

(138 Posts)
Hetty58 Sun 24-Nov-19 15:56:36

If he was 'ranting at me' I'd call the police and have him removed, apply for an injunction and have the locks changed - all done in a few hours. Why would you put up with it?

FlexibleFriend Sun 24-Nov-19 15:53:35

You need legal advice, we have no idea how long you've been together, how much he's been contributing etc. If the arrangement was for him to pay the bills that wouldn't normally include paying for the bathroom to be refitted. So he could claim he was contributing far more than you.

ToniSH Sun 24-Nov-19 15:50:09

You really need to get legal advice and quickly. The law is different in Scotland than from England and Wales, so it's not really possible to point you to further advice. Your financial ownership of the house should be OK, but your partner may have some rights to stay in the house, depending on what he's paid for.

Septimia Sun 24-Nov-19 15:43:09

If he's not paying rent he's not a sitting tenant and as his name isn't on the deeds he has no claim on the house itself.

Therefore you could perhaps put the house on the market, pay him a reasonable amount for what he has put into it and move back nearer your family.

But you would need to take legal advice about this to make sure you can do it.

FlexibleFriend Sun 24-Nov-19 15:35:48

Don't be surprised if he is entitled to make a claim against your property. During my divorce I had a chat with my barrister as to how I could have prevented my ex claiming part of my house and he said unless we were unmarried and I could prove he was a lodger and paying rent and produce the evidence of such I wouldn't stand a chance.

bingo12 Sun 24-Nov-19 15:11:22

Why don't you just change the locks, pack his things up and leave them outside in safe/sheltered place; probably phone the police to tell them (hope they answer); then phone the man to tell him to get his stuff immediately (or it may disappear or be damaged)? He is not paying rent so does not need any formal notice and you have already asked him to leave previously.

Nickysmadhouse Sun 24-Nov-19 14:49:39

I have asked him to leave many times, and also asked for what he believes he is owed he just rants and wont tell me!
I would never just change the locks, im not completely heartless but equally wonder how long i can go on like this.
He has family locally he could stay with, i moved 90 miles away from all my family and friends to buy this house.... stupid eh?!!!

I will def see about the half hour with a solicitor and you are so right about the CAB, they are so overstretched.

Thank you so much for your reply x

MawB Sun 24-Nov-19 14:39:03

You could ask him to put in writing (with receipts) what he believes he is entitled to. I would then take advantage of what I understand is a free half-hour with a solicitor to establish what your rights are. I would suggest CAB but I know how overbooked they are, still worth a try though
Try to keep things on an impersonal level.
Have you in fact asked him to leave? Again it would be useful to put this in writing too as he will effectively be homeless and may need proof of that.
People might tell you to just change the locks and that is a possibility but a) he might turn nasty and b) he may well have a financial stake in the property so I woukd want to be very sure of my rights.

Nickysmadhouse Sun 24-Nov-19 14:35:47

Thank you so much for your post, it has made me feel much more positive and proactive.
I will keep a watch on here to see any varying opinions and speak to my solicitor for some advice.

How lucky yo are to be in such a lovely position with your OH.

Nickysmadhouse Sun 24-Nov-19 14:30:58

Its absolutely horrific!
Thank you for your reply, i will get some legal advice, i have been toying with doing it for months but had hoped we could sort it amicably, but it’s just not going to happen.

Great minds! I have thought about back charging him rent to take off any amount he is owed!
Thank you again x

Lyndylou Sun 24-Nov-19 14:30:02

As I understand the legal situation you are well within your rights to tell him he has to go and the police would back you up. Then he would have to take you to court for any costs he thinks he is entitled to, so it would be up to him to decide if the legal costs are worth the amount he thinks he would receive.

I would be interested in other responses to see if I am correct, things change so fast these days! This is precisely why after a rough marriage and a nasty divorce, I have always kept the house in my name just in case. My present OH luckily has proved to be a decent chap and I will do right by him in my will, but it always a risk when you start a new relationship.

MamaCaz Sun 24-Nov-19 14:25:27

You need professional advice.

But you could start by telling him that he will have to pay you back rent if he wants 'his' money back. And refuse to tell him how much a month you are charging!

Seriously though, get proper legal advice, and quickly.

Good luck - it must be awful sharing a house with someone in these circumstances.

Nickysmadhouse Sun 24-Nov-19 14:17:39

Hi all, so, my situation is that i purchased my home outright and it is in my sole name, my partner lives with me and the agreement was that as i work part time and he full time he would pay the bills (in his name!) and i would be the good housewife!
Sadly, our relationship is now at the point i can stand it no longer, he says he wont leave as he paid to refit the bathroom and kitchen and other little projects around the house, until i pay him his money - to which he wont tell me how much he wants (not that i have any for him)
I guess my question is how do i move forward and get him to leave, my life is complete misery, i wont bore you with details but needless to say i am isolated in so many ways!

Many thanks for you help ❤️