inheritance

DEFINITELY seek legal advice on this. There are all sorts of reasons in which ex spouses can go after money earned or inherited after a divorce (a divorce is not the firm line that we tend to think it is). Keep it in your husband's name and then legal advice. You could always use the money later on to help him re-establish his life. A friend of mine bought 50% share in a terraced house to help out her son who got divorced. She charges him a tiny rent (you have to do this otherwise it's treated in law as a gift - I understand - and then the ex can go after it later as being an undisclosed asset, even years later, especially if there are children).

How is a Deed of Variation not legally binding? Bit mystified on that as I would consider it is or what's the point of it. You know your son best but perhaps rather than hand over money that could well be included in any divorce settlement why not help with stuff he made need wherever he goes to live eg furnishings, white goods. That would save his own money.

Yes she may well have a claim if you give your son money. If he needs money now the simplest way is to give him a loan and charge peppercorn interest on it. You would need to draw up a document and both sign it. As the money is still yours she would have no claim on it.

Explain to your son what you are planning to do and you will keep his share until you know he will not lose out to his ex

Yes, consult a solicitor.

They haven't given the marriage long, what went wrong? Marriage Counselling, worth a go?

Legal advice needed.

Presumably he will finish up supporting his wife in some way re mortgage etc.

Is there something you could pay for him directly, like rent perhaps?

You husband has inherited the money. Not your son.
I would wait and see what happens between him and his wife.
Keep the money back and gift it in the future when you know what is happening. I don’t see why his wife would then be entitled to anything.

I would wait until after the divorce

Make sure you get legal advice - a lady I know inherited a piece of land via her mum, from an uncle.
She wanted to sell the land to the family that had been using it as an allotment for many years (not really worth much as no easy access to it so can't be used for building) then she found out that if she did, because she was still married to her ex husband at the time the land was gifted to her by her mum, her husband would be entitled to 50% of the money!

I strongly suggest they try a counsellor. My son & his wife did this- they did have to pay but it wasn't a lot & it saved their friendship. The marriage was over but they finished up very good friends- sharing childcare for their 3 & they are the best of friends now. They take the children out together & have even holidayed together. They both lead their own lives happily & the children are 100% happy.
I wish it had been around when my own marriage split up- although we get on OK now.

I’d def. wait until after the divorce.
An aunt of dh cut one of his brothers out of her will because she thought his wife was appallingly extravagant (she was) and didn’t want her having any of her money to waste.

However by the time she died, BiL was divorced and the other brothers made a deed of variation to reinstate him.

Make sure everything is legally watertight. My husband's ex-wife came to him THIRTEEN YEARS after SHE left HIM for another man, wanted half of what the house they had shared was worth. It had tripled in value since she left! We were due to get married and if they hadn't settled before our wedding, she would have been able to claim half my money too. She was actually dragging her heels so she could do this! They finally settled but she got such a sizeable sum that my husband had to take out a mortgage to pay it, which resulted another sixteen years of scraping to pay the monthly payments and not being able to retire until recently, aged 69. So please, make sure things are legally binding for your Son, and not his wife!

I simply wish you'd not bail him out and use the money for yourselves.

good one phloembundle.

Let him have some money now if he needs it, but if anyone asks, it is a loan from you.

You can give him some but it needs to be ringfenced so that it is not included in any financial results if they go on to get divorced. You can do this but only through a solicitor

I believe you have up to 2 years after death to apply a deed of variation. Wait until your son's situation has stabilised before giving him any money. Wife will definitely be entitled to half at the moment and maybe even after any divorce. Seek legal advice.

Yes, hang on to your money because if it goes into his or their joint bank account, it will be shared in any divorce settlement. Sounds harsh but its the only way, unless you can somehow give him the money and 'hide it'.

The default path of the money was to your husband...so under the circumstances I would stick with that and reconsider when / if things change, e.g divorce.

Are there any grandchildren?

"But she could still have a claim on anything you give to him, even if it’s not written in the Will, at any point"

Not after a divorce.

But she could still have a claim on anything you give to him, even if it’s not written in the Will, at any point. I really would get advice. Citizens Advice would help you.

As the last 2 posters have said - keep the money. Give it to your son later on, after he divorces his wife.

I'd hang onto the money for now.

Keep hold of the money for now? See how thing's develop?