So scared and worried about my security

Sparkling it’s HIS house. Livlass has no protection bar that offered by the trust. She has no share in the house and fears she could be bullied into moving out when her husband dies.

Where were you living before you married 3 years ago? My father remarried and when he died we got nothing his wife of four years did, we never saw her again. It was as if his family and life before her never existed. I think he would not have wanted that, everything should be done legally to protect everyone. I wish now we had challenged it but we were so devasted were not able to. I think when you marry late, Tennants in Common is best then you can leave your share where you will.

I would open up another joint account into which you both pay in a set amount each for bills etc.
Then change the joint accounts into sole accounts. My son & his fiance do this as they own a house together.
You may also want to ensure that your name is on the deeds too as joint owners of the house if not done already

Rule 1 - a joint account is never a good idea if it means you have no money in your own name in a separate account. My late husband and I had a joint account into which his salary was paid and from which all household bills were paid. I had my own money in my own account. No problems.

Rule 2 - see a solicitor and find out whether the house is in his name, or in your joint names, or whether you are tenants in common which is not the same but is the best solution. This means that when the first one dies they can leave their half of the value of the property to whoever they choose, which is usually their husband or wife. thereby giving the surviving spouse full ownership. In our case, we decided that each of our share would go directly to our daughter, so that we are now tenants in common. An unexpected bonus is that if the surviving spouse has to go into care the full value of the house cannot be used to assess the level of fees, just the half which they own.

This is so important, so do make an appointment to see a solicitor as soon as possible, as I am not sure what success you might have in disputing the will on the grounds that the son is unstable, especially as your husband has made some provision for you. The Power of Attorney is more worrying since he would in effect have control over the money you have paid into the joint account.

sorry, that should be from the deceased's accounts

It's fine having a joint account for household expenses, but you should have a bank account in your own name too.

Ask the bank whether they freeze a joint account if the one party dies, and whether funeral expenses can be paid from the deceased accounts.

If your husband ever does need to go into care and the POA comes into being, then I am quite certain your step-son will have access to all accounts, but the bank can tell you the ins and outs of that too.

Start with your bank manager, then consult a solicitor.

Oh my word,you Gransnetters are a mine of information. Thankyou all so much for such good guidance. The house is only in his name. Long story that still rankles to this day but he wouldn’t let me buy half. To be quite blunt, my husband thinks the sun shines out of his sons backside. Have known husband for 13 years and it’s always been the same. So first thing to do is move my money, should be able to do that even though banks aren’t up to speed. Second thing is finding a solicitor that I can actually go in and see face to face. That might take a bit longer.

As others have said, you need to take legal advice. You can put a matrimonial Caution against the title of the property. This would stop his son from selling or mortgaging the property without notifying you so that you could challenge it and it would make the property difficult to sell or charge.
Do you have a copy of the present Will? If not, try to get one. If you put any money into the property, carry out any works etc. make sure you keep a record.

Yes...definitely first thing you must do is contact a solicitor (some, like mine, are still working albeit from home) ...only they will know the law and what rights you have and whether the POA would stand given the son;s history …...my PoA has been given to my Solicitor as I have no contact with any family and most of them have died anyway ….it costs me a lot in retention fees, but it is worth it ! DO IT NOW ...

Further thinking on this, the reasoning why your DH made the decision to put property in trust to his sons may well be called into question. Could be seen as an attempt to have property included in any care assessment. Very very rare for a trust to be watertight and not challenged. However as I said you have the right to remain or should you wish to move to do so using the value of your current home to buy another. You will also be entitled to keep half of any private pension (not state pension) your husband may have should he need care.

If you partner has granted you "Right to reside" the son cannot make you leave.

Your husband has made provision for you to continue living in the house on his death. Usually there is also provision that should you move eg downsize and there is money left over from the sale of the original property that money goes to the "willed" benefactors. Is the POA for both finance and welfare, need to check that out. Also, if a wife/partner over 60 years of age resides in a property that property is disregarded when a person goes into a care home. Who will pay the fees, that's another question that legal advice should be taken on. Definitely, without delay separate off your finances in your own name taking a share of any savings you have accrued together.

"Some sort of social housing" is not the worse case, Davidhs, privately rented housing is. It might seem a more attractive alternative but it gives no security.

See a solicitor LivLass as others are saying. Both of you together if DH says so.

If house is not in your name or joint names, I'm pretty sure you would find it difficult to stay in house. DH needs to write his request into the will. This what our solicitor advised us to do.

Try to get DH to think about having 2 POAs. (You and son). If you appoint more than one, you must decide whether they'll make decisions separately or together.

See a solicitor as soon as possible. I think your husband is not thinking of you at all. I went out with someone who had his kids living with him, and he stated that the house was theirs if he passed away!

So sorry for your situation Livlass. Try to get your husband alter the POA to you. Remind him of the son's poor record. It may be that he has forgotten.

By the way Teddy, money is not the root of all evil. It is THE LOVE Of money that is the root of all evil. So many people forget the first few words. You can do a lot of good with money so it is not evil!

What a conundrum. You MUST consult a solicitor. Does your husband know how you feel, as by the law of averages your husband will die before you? Don’t leave it until it happens.

Never ever have a join account!!
See a solicitor NOW.

You must together with your husband get legal advice.
Absolutely must!

A close friend had a very similar situation except the house was a few years ago put into joint ownership on the Deeds. The daughters had been left literally a million pounds in the new will.... But no house.

Husband died unexpectedly May last year. Daughters were executors of the will.
The will remains unsettled and one daughter is fighting for everything.

A cautionary tale. The will needs to be watertight. Money is the root of all evil!

I can't see an end to my friends problem despite solicitors being involved.
Greed eh!

Your husband should have given POA to you. Get him to change it immediately. You will automatically be entitled to have of everything he has and he’s entitled to half of everything you have.

As you are married are you not entitled to half of the house anyway? I don5 know, just posing the question. What you entitlement if you divorced? Would this not be the same in death or care costs needing to be met ?

Oh poor you, I’d really be worried, What on earth made your husband choose to give his son who you say is not stable POA. You have every right to be concerned, you need to have your own finances, I’d be seeking legal advice as soon as I possibly could, hope you get things sorted

You certainly need to have some of your own money you can get to if you need to but as you are both retired it won’t mount up very quickly.

Your husband has done what he can to make you secure and hopefully that will work out, if it doesn’t the worst case is social housing of some sort, you will not be destitute, you may even want to move. None of us know what the future will bring, for now build up a nest egg and cross bridges when you get to them.

Definitely need legal advice and agree you must keep some money in your own account. I would have plan b in your head as to where you might like to.live if it all gets nasty and it could. Seek legal advice rapidly.

Definitely seek legal advice.