Change of mind about will.......

Sounds like she's made a big mistake and needs to get out of the marriage now and take with her what she brought into it, financially. She can then leave everything to her own child.

If she can't do that then she could contact the solicitor and say she was coerced into making the original will and wants to make a separate will stating this with new terms and see what he suggests. I'm sure it won't be the first time he's come across this situation.

Dylant1234

She really must see a solicitor and don’t take lay advice, however well intended - I believe ‘mirror wills‘ usually contain a mutual contract not to change the will which could affect a will made without reference to the mirror will. The last thing she wants is a contested probate when she dies and which could consume the entire estate in costs.
Personally, I feel she should stand up to him on this and if he’s been physically abusive she should run a mile.

I have had four mirror wills (two with ex-husband, two with current husband over the years. These were drawn-up using three different firms of Solicitors. None of them had any clause about changing them. I have never heard of such a clause!

Any person can go on to have a new will drawn up without having to disclose that they have done so to any particular person, including the spouse they previously had a mirror will with.

Yes he has pulled the wool over her eyes on that one; his side getting two thirds. You’d have thought a decent solicitor would have pointed that out when drawing up the mirror will. I can imagine they only work if both sides positions vis a vis children are identical.
Interesting that someone above alerted us to the fact that mirror wills cannot be changed by one of the spouses . As they said, this could be very expensive at probate so the bull has to be grasped by the horns. Now. Do you think the mirror will was a kind of pre nup ? Why did she agree to it in the first place? Did she just want to believe that he was being fair but knows better now? Probably. Please urge her to sort it out or it will fester. If she is too scared to then that surely is a sign to separate. I do hope she sorts it because it is not fair.

Definitely see a solicitor. Please no DIY wills. There is no need to tell her OH. But make sure that her child and her closest friends know about it. Also, add a letter with the will, witnesses and signed, explaining why she has made the decisions she has. This will make it harder for her OH to contest it. Hopefully, though , she will see a divorce solicitor before her will is needed. And, of course, he might "leave this mortal coil " first!

I second what Crazygranny has said no matter how tempted she is to tell him she must seek proper legal advise and assistance & support with her situation but she must never, ever tell him, no matter how 'nice' he is being at that time. It will make matters much worse if she does. She may be used to telling him everything, it could be habit but for her own safety and sanity she needs to keep her own counsel here. but the longer she leaves it the worse it will get. You sound like a good and true friend, at least she has you to talk to and that is like gold dust. Wish her the very best of luck.

Meant it didnt cost me anything.stupid typo's

I read somewhere that Mirror Wills are not worth the paper they are written on and the only way to ensure that your assets go where you want them to go is to have a Trust set up. Get your friend to seek good legal advice. Get her to take a friend or her child with her so she has someone to discuss this with once she has left the solicitor's office as it will all be very nerve wracking for her.

Yes she will need a solicitor again because of legalities, and the wording of it is very important! Also, if she changes hers, what then would happen to her husbands will? Would it be invalidated totally? Or not? She really needs the solicitor.but i would choose a different one ideally.

I feel so bad for your friend.she really does need official advice..I did a will last year via Will Aid- it was a very good service.the solicitor came to me- and again, when he'd written it up and clarified it all, brought me the final and we got a witness, and signed it.And he had driven quite a way.Lovely service.didn't cost me anything, all i had to do was either leave a small amount in my will (could have been even a very small amount,even £5 or £10 if i couldn't afford much) or ask in will for people to donate to the charity in lieu of flowers instead.I believe there are a few different charities the lawyers work with on this.

You can get it changed from one to the other, I believe, but other person would have to agree.

There’s two ways of owning a property - joint tenants and tenants in common. I believe joint tenants means you both own all of it, so if one of you dies it automatically goes to the surviving partner. The tenants in common mean you each own a portion and you can then leave your share to whomever you like.

Oh this makes me cross. I would definitely get another Will made, the sooner the better and get advice too (and keep it quiet from him). Should he die first what has he left for her? He sounds an unpleasant man and may be she should think about moving on. Easier said than done I know but this whole thing is so unfair.

She should see her own solicitor to start off with and explain that she felt bullied into making the will.
I would say that if the house has been paid for 50/50, that is how it should be divided - not her fault that he has 2 children and she has just the one!

Oh, and to support other comments, this needs to be done through a solicitor to make sure she gets the wording right. I've worked in legacies and sadly it's more and more common for wills to be contested (which her own child could do of course if she doesn't take any action) x good luck to her anyway x

I have personal experience of this approach and it's incredibly stressful and makes one feel totally betrayed. However, your friend has a choice - whether or not the husband is abusive she can revoke her will at any time. It may be a mirror will but she can scrap it and have a new one written but please tell her to go to a reputable solicitor and to add a letter of wishes to her will which stipulates why she has revoked her mirror will. She should say in that that she was coerced into a position by controlling and abusive behaviour and that she wishes to pass her share all the joint assets onto her daughter entirely.

Hi, in reply to what happens if he goes first, surely everything would revert to you as the surviving spouse and you could them make the will more fairly. If you don't want to risk it, you can make a new will which revokes all previous wills, still including his children but a fairer division of the estate. I think she's right to be concerned btw and should do something without feeling guilty or that she should tell him. If he was reasonable, then she should but he clearly isn't!

DH and I in ‘not first’ marriages and each have children. I have changed my will - unbeknownst to him.
Re behaviour from friend’s DH - never mind a will she needs a divorce lawyer PDQ - that situation will NOT improve

Please ask her to see a Solicitor and change the Will to her satisfaction. No need to tell him.

I feel so sorry for your friend OPs and the life she is leading with this awful man she should not be subject to violence etc from him and seek the help from womans aid at her age she should be looking forward to another 20+ yrs being content with her life.
Can she not have her DD or SIL deal speak with him to make her life more manageable,get them to take her to a family solicitor and make a later will asap.

Everything she has should go to her daughter, that's totally unfair on your friend

Spot on jenpax.

She needs a lawyer here. Just drawing up a new will isn't really the answer, as it might not be legal.

Also, if we are to advise you really need to state what part of the UK you live in. Inheritance is likely to be different under Scottish law than English.

And if you are not in the UK it gets even more complicated.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I have experience of this in extended family and it did not end well, one person managed to transfer funds from a shared account into a private bank account so that there was very little left when the first partner died. The child of the deceased did not get their inheritance because there was no money left except in the widow's bank account.
The house was lived in by the widow and then her children inherited it. She was the third wife but managed to get every last cent plus the house and effects.
Need to be careful in the wording of a will.

Definitely see a solicitor asap ....or ask if any local solicitors have a free consultation hour (sometimes they do) which could lead to paying for advice but it will be worth it in the long run. They will know, if half of the house would legally be your friend's if her husband died first....and then it would probably be up to her to draw up a new Will. Meanwhile if she gets together paperwork and proof of all the costs she has paid towards buying, doing up, etc, of the house this may help....normally only needed for a divorce, but fore armed is good. Maybe she would consider divorce ...sounds like she would be entitled ! hope she takes legal advice