Change of mind about will.......

Poor woman living with coercive behavior and also physical violence, her husband sounds a complete tyrant. Perhaps she could confide in her daughter and seek a way to leave the marriage the sooner the better. She needs legal advice about the wills that have been made if she goes first her husband will be left with everything and then he could get a new will written which could leave out her daughter. This man only has his own childrens financial future in mind and it seems he is adamant he is not changing anything.

Mirror wills are very rare nowadays and solicitors usually advise against them. Are they definitely mirror wills and not just identical wills?
Either way, she really needs to take advice preferably from a wills and probate specialist. Her will should be what she wants but it sounds as if there are other issues.

I agree that a solicitor should be consulted which is what I suggested earlier they will be able to advise whether or not a later will can revoke the mirror will

As her husband doesn't sound open to reasoned discussion and as this is something she feels strongly about she should just go and make another will. As the more recent version, that is the one that will stand. She can then have a quiet discussion with her child and leave a copy with them with instructions to implement after she has died. That way she will be happy and his problem can stay with him. Just make sure not to tell him - ever!

She really must see a solicitor and don’t take lay advice, however well intended - I believe ‘mirror wills‘ usually contain a mutual contract not to change the will which could affect a will made without reference to the mirror will. The last thing she wants is a contested probate when she dies and which could consume the entire estate in costs.
Personally, I feel she should stand up to him on this and if he’s been physically abusive she should run a mile.

Agree with David1968 - first stop solicitor, then she needs to get out and stay out! Poor woman - so sorry to hear of this.

I agree that when there are only two people involved mirror wills are the answer (it's normally to agree that whichever dies first, the other inherits). But when complications arise, it's easier to write a new will stating what you now want rather than what you may have decided earlier. You don't need his permission - you don't necessarily even need a solicitor to write a will. But if, as people are stating, he's coercive, he may have already changed his will without telling you to leave his share to his family and yours with nothing. Do feel you should at least get legal advice.

If property is jointly owned and he doesn't want yiur friend to have his half then it should have been his half interest only that went to his children. There should have been provision made your friend remained in the property as she could be made homeless unless able to buy out his two children. Definitely need legal advice. Can one party of a mirror will change the whole context? Of course his behaviour may well be justification for a change but that will need to be evidenced. Complicated to say the least.

You could go and see a solicitor and explain to them what has happened and see if you could get your share of everything separate then you could make a will that way or you could take money out of the account and open a new 1 and keep putting money in that and that could be just your will account I don't know if you could do that but it's worth a try good luck

There is a strong element of coercive behaviour there from her DH (and sadly some physical abuse)
This fact is a real red rag - IMO she needs to get out of this marriage - fast. Legal advice needed here as well.

www.willaid.org.uk/

Forgot to put the link.

I think your friend should discuss the situation with a solicitor, before making a new will, to try to avoid a messy situation for the adult children when one, or both, of them has died.

Will Aid starts in September, btw, and is a way to help charities while making a will.

As already suggested, she should also check out Women's Aid about the abuse and what options she might have in general.

Thanks Evie64 - I don't know the answer to that but I will pass that info to her.

Can I just say how good Gransnet is? I rarely post but never miss reading the top threads or searching the forums. Just so much wisdom and experience, and real feeling for those going through life's difficulties. Go Gransnet!

Yikes! doesn't it get complicated? As far as I am aware the home is jointly owned and everything goes to the remaining partner first. Dinahmo - divorced - though that last paragraph is still something to think sbout isn't it? I should add they are in their 70's.......

Tell her to check that house has been bought as "Tenants in Common" as opposed to "Joint tenants". Tenants in common means she is entitled to 50% share of the house in the event of his death. Joint tenants mean that whoever is the remaining spouse gets 100% of the house. Also, you can easily do a new will online, cheaper than going to a solicitor. Get it sent directly to her daughter or a trusted friend, sign it, get it witnessed, that's it. That would supersede any earlier wills.

Just a thought - what about the home? Is that jointly owned? Is his share going straight to the children rather than the OP's friend?

Supposing she was a widow before she remarried. Her share would presumably have come from her first husband so would she want any of that to go to anyone other than her own child?

Actually I am aware that the main question is in fact her health and happiness - and that really needs addressing first - but it is a start that she has opened up about the will.

Thanks Jenpax for that suggestion. Strange how walking on eggshells can feel so normal to women in these situations. I wasn't sure what the usual division of property was myself (only married once) so really wasn't clear if the number of children was generally a consideration. I guess the main question now is how to rectify it. Also if he refuses to change his will and "goes first" then it will be divided as per HIS wishes anyway...

What jenpax says, he’s a bully by what you say she could tell her child to contact the solicitor who draws up the new will when the time comes.

And no it isn’t fair and it’s financial abuse and coercive control!

What’s to stop her going to see another solicitor and just drawing up a later will! No need to tell the husband and she could ask a friend to keep a copy and advise of this later will when the time comes?
I would also urge her to have a look at the woman’s aid website for advice about abuse and coercive control!