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Legal, pensions and money

Divorce

(17 Posts)
ninathenana Mon 27-Jul-20 14:31:22

My daughter and husband are now officially separated, which we are all happy about. She is trying to divorce him but he is dragging his feet and being his usual selfish, awkward self. Getting it sorted "Is not high on his agenda" apparently. she dosen't care what grounds it happens and who is cited but it seems it may well have to go to the two year separation.
I have seen notices in the press saying :
I Susan Smith will no longer be responsible for Joe Bloggs debts ....etc.
Does anyone know if this would stand up in court or would she need to do anything else, such as a solicitors letter. She is worried that he will use her name to run up debt. This would be typical of him.

DiscoDancer1975 Tue 28-Jul-20 10:12:42

I would urge them to find a divorce lawyer for advice. I wouldn’t imagine anything they put together for a newspaper bulletin would mean anything, but could be wrong. We have similar things going on in our family at the moment. In our case, they’re waiting out the two years before doing anything else. They’ve separated and my daughter in law is still in the house with the children. My son is with us. I’m sure now this thread has got going, you’ll get responses from people with experience. I’d be interested too. It really affects us doesn’t it?

ninathenana Tue 28-Jul-20 10:55:50

He would never pay for a lawyer and daughter would really struggle to afford it. Yes we could help but we have helped her to the tune of thousands over the years.
I'm sorry you are affected by your sons impending divorce DiscoDancer we are relieved that she will finally be free of the narcissistic control freak ? It does seem she will have to wait the 2 yrs. but it's what happens in the mean time that scares her. She is already paying off debts in put in her name ?

kittylester Tue 28-Jul-20 12:05:18

No help to offer but I love the fact that you arent holding back, nina. sunshine

kittylester Tue 28-Jul-20 12:08:48

Meant to also say that I went to a solicitor for the 30 minute free session. Ask around for recommendations as you could use the same one for this advice and anything that comes up later.

The one my niece saw was really good and positive. Sadly DN went back to her narcissist where is all seems to be going pear shaped again.

kittylester Tue 28-Jul-20 14:18:19

But, on the positive side, we are out the other side with DD3 although the Arsenal does still try playing mind games with child care arrangements!

ninathenana Tue 28-Jul-20 17:42:06

kitty
Unbelievably child care is the one thing they have agreed on. They each have the children Saturday to Saturday alternate weeks.
I suggested she arrange her free half hour but she is reluctant as she did that the last time they separated.

ninathenana Tue 28-Jul-20 17:49:07

Glad to hear things are getting sorted for your DD3.
I thought I'd PMd you about a week ago but seems it didn't send

welbeck Tue 28-Jul-20 18:03:23

has she tried getting free debt advice:

www.stepchange.org/#:~:text=Call%20us%20for%20FREE%20on,%2C%20Saturday%208am%2D4pm).

capuk.org/

ElaineI Tue 28-Jul-20 18:15:51

DD2 got debt help from Christian's Against Poverty and it's working well. She also got advice from Woman's Aid on what to do about cancelling cards, solicitors etc. We also went online and asked a question on JustAnswer.

Grandmafrench Tue 28-Jul-20 19:01:56

Your DD needs to understand that if she's a signatory to a mortgage, or a car loan for example, then she will remain responsible.

However, if there are joint bank accounts or joint savings, especially if there are overdraft facilities that he might now decide to take advantage of, she simply needs to write to the Bank putting them on notice that they are now officially separated and she will no longer be responsible (from the date of the letter) for any debts which might be incurred on that account by the other signatory, i.e. husband. She needs to have an account in her name only and to ask the Bank to place half the funds from the joint account into her new account. (Well, half the funds would be the 'civilised' way to do it!!) The Bank will probably then get him to open a new account in his sole name, but that's not your DD's concern! She's off the hook.

Make sure from that date that all and any accounts she has are in her sole name. Unless she has been involved as a guarantor for her Husband, there is no future liability on her.

He cannot 'run up' debts, unless they are in his sole name and he is then totally responsible and, again, she is not at risk.

Get her to see a Solicitor a.s.a.p., and take advantage of some free advice. This is normally advertised but most firms will not charge for a short first consultation, unless they take instructions and agree to carry out some work on your behalf.

This advice was given to one of our children who was seeking a divorce. It should hopefully settle your DD's concerns about what she can do initially to avoid being worried about how he may handle money now and where she's anxious that she might be liable or involved.

kittylester Tue 28-Jul-20 19:02:28

Good advice coming nina.

annsixty Tue 28-Jul-20 19:38:50

My D is in a different situation to most.
She has been separated from her H for over 6 yrs now with no divorce.
Her H has had a new partner for at least 5 of those.
They live together abroad and she is totally accepted by all his family.
He has on a couple of occasions mentioned divorce and my D has told him to go ahead, she really isn’t bothered but will not instigate it.
The C are now 21 and 18, both living at home, they visit their father at least once a year.
He still pays maintenance.
I don’t say anything but do wonder what his “game plan” is.
There is a lot of family money on his side which at the moment it would seem my D would be entitled to a share.
Also if he died she would inherit from his estate.
It seems there is a hidden agenda.

greengreengrass Sun 30-Aug-20 16:38:44

I went down the finance hearing route in court.

Although the run up is stressful, at its best it does force everything to be placed on the table.

I'm still sure ex stashed some money away, but if I hadn't done it he would not have given me anything.

Yes. Sounds like there is a hidden agenda.

I would advise your DD to go ahead with legal route.

Usually the reason why they try to wait years and not go to court is because they know in court they will be forced to settle fairly.

Sounds manipulative. I've been there.

Keeper1 Sun 04-Oct-20 11:09:23

I have just seen this thread but I would like to say in the UK there is no official separation also until the financial situation is legally finalised there is a status of joint and several so get legal advice please.

GagaJo Sun 04-Oct-20 11:14:55

My ex has been remarried for 15 years, but unbelieveably, I only paid off a joint debt last year (to be fair, it was an old one that I didn't know about which reappeared after 10 years).

Grandmafrench is right I am afraid. Anything joint will continue to be her responsibility. My ex didn't care about CCJ's or court cases so it was up to me to pay them off.

Davidhs Sun 04-Oct-20 11:21:59

I was under the impression that legal separation was possible in the U.K. to separate financial affairs. It is cheap and will protect the both sides

www.divorce-online.co.uk/help-and-advice/legal-separation/

But if the relationship is over why not just divorce him and be done with.