DH dragging his feet re a new will.

I think you can have a maximum of 4 executors - I wanted 5, my sister and brother-in-law and my 2 nephews and 1 niece, but that was too many. I explained in the will saying that if I'd been able to have 5 the younger nephew would have been one, as I didn't want him to think that he had been deliberately left out. Having so many means that I am covered if one or more of them die before me.

Just get an appointment at a solicitors and he will probably go along. If not, go yourself and get some advice. If he's allergic to spending money, tell him it would cost a fortune to have a solicitor handle it which would penalise the children. Would strongly advise you to draw up and register Lasting Powers of Attorney for 1.Health and Welfare, and 2. Property and Affairs for each of you, with your sons as Attorneys (jointly and severally). You just never know when you may be incapacitated by illness and unable to deal with your bills, bank etc. You will feel much happier once you've done that, knowing everything is in hand.

IMHO Far better to sit down as a family and talk everything through - say what will happen - and list possessions to be distributed and avoid solicitors like the plague and appoint two or all children as executors. I know one family with simple equal distribution , simple probate, yet got ripped off thousands by solicitor for very little work. Another two clients of mine were charged £600 by solicitor to look over a perfectly simply will ??

I would say executors should be the surviving spouse plus one child. There are horror stories of people making three children all executors. The outcome there is that the three cannot agree, fall out and nothing gets done for ages. Which child though? We have one child who is a lawyer so for us that was a fairly obvious and agreed choice.

Once the spouse goes then there has to be a reset. The solicitor who draws up the will keeps a copy and can help but does not have to be an executor. I think the cost is in the execution, not the drawing up of the will. In my uncle's case it was couple of hours work, then he kept the will and showed it to us after the death and we executed.

One strategy might be to get the wills done all yourself and then just ambush. Set them down in front of DH to sign with the witnesses present. A shock tactic but depends how desperate you are.

Good luck.

Presumably you don't plan to distribute your assets when the first one of you dies? Your current wills will be 'everything to surviving spouse'. Which is what would happen anyway.

We have quite complicated wills now. We are divorcees with two grown up children each (been married for almost 30 years) I wanted to ensure that, should I die first, if DH remarried all my children's money could not end up with a stranger's family. Same if I should remarry. I felt strongly about this as I'd seen it first hand. It was expensive, but worth every penny to ensure our children receive what we each want. We've just altered it slightly to update Executors and add money for the GDs - it didn't involve a change to the actual wills, just a Codicil so not expensive.

Do be wary of appointing family members to execute your will. My brother and sister were executors for my mother’s will, have robbed and cheated me blind (criminal offences) will not pay what my mother left me seven years ago, and I cannot afford to take them to court. The police aren’t interested despite evidence of theft and fraud.
I am shocked at the extent of their greed and malice but there’s nothing I can do about it.

Gosh Coco51 that is horrible. I am worried about the executors to our wills as our son and daughter don't get on and I feel our son will walk all over our daughter but we don't want to offend our son by just having our daughter.

Re handwritten wills, I’ve seen one not so long ago, made when the person was terminally ill, with very wobbly handwriting. He was unmarried and left everything to a lifelong woman friend, so it was very simple. Duly dated and witnessed, it was perfectly valid.

You don't need to write a new will, you just need to amend it. It is referred as a codicil. Any solicitor will enter a codicil (amendment) to your original will. It is a lot cheaper than writing a new will.

IMHO it's a good idea to get legal advice on a will but not a good idea to use a solicitor as one of or the only executor. Solicitors charge a fortune for their time.

If you can't or don't want to appoint your children as executors then it is best to see if a trusted friend who is reasonably intelligent is willing to do it. That person can seek legal advice on the tasks involved if and when they need it. You could provide for them to receive a small sum in your will as a thank you.

Crispy123

Gosh Coco51 that is horrible. I am worried about the executors to our wills as our son and daughter don't get on and I feel our son will walk all over our daughter but we don't want to offend our son by just having our daughter.

Then get a solicitor to be executor. That way fairness is ensured.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

My sister and I were named as executors of my dad's will. She had done the job previously for her partner when his dad died so she knew the ropes. I wrote a letter accepting her responsibility for the admin and happily took a back seat. My other sister was huffed at not being named as an executor in the will. That caused more bad feeling than anything else.

Wills can be quite flexible. I wrote a deed of variation to enable my sons to benefit from my portion of their grandad's estate and thereby not be taxed. You can Google deed of variation but it's on the gov.uk website so you can also search there. You don't need to pay a solicitor to do it and it's perfectly legal.

My late stepfather asked me about 3 years before his death if I’d be executer for his will, I refused because I really didn’t get on with him for the last 6 years before his death so instead he left the job to his Solicitor. I really wished I’d swallowed my pride and agreed to do it (I wasn’t due to inherit anything from his will, nor was that the reason I refused, he trusted me implicitly) as I watched his Solicitor after his death rip off his estate to an unbelievable amount, my stepfather would be turning in his grave watching him do it. It was to the point that the beneficiaries solicitor (his own children’s adult solicitor) was going to formally write to the solicitor and complain and take it further if they couldn’t get any satisfactory answers as to where some of the money went! So take my tip please don’t leave a solicitor to be an executor unless he’s a family friend or you know them to be totally trustworthy. Money brings out the worst in some people after death.

My DH is the same - since we last made wills 10 -15 years ago our DDs were both single. A lot has changed, they could now be executors. One DD is now married, but both DDs have a child each and DH isn't getting any younger (neither am I, come to think of it)
DH just hums and ha's about it.!

ExaltedWombat

Presumably you don't plan to distribute your assets when the first one of you dies? Your current wills will be 'everything to surviving spouse'. Which is what would happen anyway.

You can set up mirror wills so, yes, that would the case but then it would state what happens in the event of the second death so there would be no need to then make another will. Unless, of course, the surviving spouse remarried in which case making a new will would need to be done promptly.

My Mum & Dad have just reluctantly done their will this year. They made myself and my brother Power of Attorney for both their Health & Wealth. We used a Solicitor my brother knew...sorryist thing to do. A couple of months later my Dad was diagnosed with Dementia. I have been in the process of claiming Disability Allowance for him and the DLA wanted my 16 page Power of Attorney Document for his Wealth & Property as proof...I still had not received it from the Office of Guardianship as they are so behind. I telephoned the Office of Guardianship to see where they were upto and was told that Dads Power of Attorney Document for Wealth & Property has been made 'void'. Thats because thew Solicitor used Tippex on one of the pages which you must not do and has now made it 'Void'. Problem is my Father has now been diagnosed with Dementia which was not the case when his Will was done so I dont know whats going to happen.

After my husband died and everything was left to me, I looked at the will and it says if I die everything goes to my three children. I did the probate myself when husband died with the help of members of a great forum called The Motley Fool. Lots of solicitors and accountants there lead me step by step. I read in the Guardian that a bank charges huge amounts to handle a will and knew my late husband who was a retired accountant would turn in his grave. Doing it helped me deal with grief. Our son, who is youngest of 3 ( my daughter and son 1 are from a previous marriage) is the sole executor but would turn to professional help with my estate. All the children are in late50s and 2 are in their late 60s and are all friends although spread across the world. I am now 86 and wonder if I should get the will rewritten and get a solicitor to do it and be responsible for probate. If it is not too rude and intrusive can someone advice the average cost of a solicitor to do this. My place of residence is London, although for this year I am remaining in St Lucia because of the virus and will not return until next year. I would be grateful for any advice.

Does anyone know why solicitors charge a fee PLUS a percentage of the estate. Is a fee not enough

A fee for a simple will is not excessive. In fact, it can often be free of charge if a donation is made to a charity.

Being an Executor of an estate could be complicated and take a great deal of time.

No, agree, drawing up the will is reasonable but probate is not when they add a percentage of the value of the estate to their fee

Anniel
This advice is up to date:

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/free-cheap-wills/

Dh and his brothers once made a deed of variation- an aunt had cut one of them out because she thought his wife was a spendthrift (she was) and didn’t want her having any of her money to waste.
However by the time the aunt died they were divorced, so that objection no longer existed.

Please everyone update,or make a will it’s a nightmares if you don’t and make sure it is reasonably current.Take care