Financial hardship in later life

My late mam used to always say " theres always someone worse off" and that's always stood me & mine in good stead to live by.It helps stop the resentment & envy building in us, although we haven't been well off by any means, we have always lived within our means, and sorted out any debt we've (inadvertantly) fallen into along the way.? O.P. would be better with a call to a welfare benefits office if her town has one- they can offer advice on ANY money problems, as well as sort out any benefits you are, or indeed are not getting, or could be entitled to.They know more about money issues than CAB as they are not just volunteers, and can ring banks & tax etc with your permission on your behalf in their 'official' capacity.Try them.Good luck.

Reckon if you threatened the bank with Martin Lewis they would pay it back cannot see you were at fault in any way and therefore they should reimburse you. Do not give up and go away thats what they want.

I think your best bet is to make an appointment with the CAB and ask for a 'Better off Calculation' they will check that you are receiving everything you are entitled too. They could also deal with the HMRC on your behalf as well as anything else you feel you want to address. You may be surprised what you are entitled too and dont forget...all what you are entitled too is because you have worked all your life.

I can identify what you are feeling. I through seven years of hell when my employer would not investigate how I might hang on to my job - it was a large LA and their own OP had identified me as being disabled. I could not believe that there was nothing at all, went to Tribunal, the employer lied and I lost. Next I tried for early payment and an ‘independent’ OP said I would get better and be able to work before my 65th birthday - even though my pension was payable at 60. (As if spinal damage could repair itself!) I was refused. There were times I felt there was nothing in life for me before I realised that if I didn’t let go of my anger and pain, I’d end up mentally as well as physically disabled. Perhaps you could examine your thoughts with the knowledge that these things have happened and cannot be changed. It sounds to me as if you envy people around you who are better off, but how does your resentment improve your own circumstances? I think that the benefits system deducts tax payments from your overall net income, so it may be possible to get a top up until your repayment ends. Have you approached the IR to explain that you need to repay tax more slowly. You might also make a formal complaint that you are being penalised for their mistake. Perhaps there is a CAB or pro bono legal service that could help you there. I know it feels that you are wading through treacle and keep getting knocked back, so be gentle with yourself and ask your gp if he can help you through this difficult time. It doesn’t matter if he is a king or a pauper - you are the important person who needs help. Good luck?

Hi songstress so sorry to hear of your plight life is harsh and unfair sometimes but I agree with other posts you should be able to claim pension credit and help with rent too as others have said if you fall below a certain amount other top ups are also available please ask or go online don't suffer in silence do hope you get this sorted and HMRC do come to arrangements they are not always heartless I had a problem with them too I was fuming but I kept calm explained the situation and the advisor sorted it out re paying do ring then good luck

Some really good advice here for you .all I can add is to try the National Debt Helpline too.

So sorry to hear about this, Songstress. I have no advice for you but you have made me realise what an ungrateful woman I am......
I hope you will make an appointment with your local CAB and do what others have suggested. Good luck

You are bitter because you have been taken advantage of and cheated. Write to the letters page in the financial section of either the Daily Mail or the Daily Express. They look into cases such as yours. Banks are meant to query any unusual activity on an account. Did they? You must stop feeling you are powerless and start looking at ways to fight back. The Financial Ombudsman is okay. They may be able to direct you to an organisation who can fight on your behalf.
Don't sit there fuming at the injustice done to you, start fighting back. I speak from personal experience as I'm like a dog with a bone, I weep, shout, grumble and stew then get on the case and try every trick in the book. Big companies don't expect little people to fight them because usually after the first refusal letter they send out, we back off and give up and they know this. Money Box radio 4. Great podcasts on the responsibility of banks to support their customers. HMRC are the same, one little letter and they assume you'll run away. Don't.

I know exactly how you feel and how much this sort of thing wears you down.

I struggled with the same sort of problems for years.

Do please, follow the advice already given about talking to CAB.

If you haven't already done so, change your bank. I believe all banks are obliged to cover the loss, if it is due to theft, either when someone lifts your bank card, and until you have cancelled it, or hacks your account.

You are certainly entitled to demand a clear explanation why they didn't do so.

Try to channel some of your bitterness into writing a polite but firm letter to the bank.

It is tempting to take some kind of job to have money in hand, but you will have to pay income tax on what you earn, and your earings will be deducted from your pension.

If you moonlight and get caught, you will be even worse off than you are now as you can be charged with fraud and have to pay back part or all of your pension.

Try to find someone, a chartered accountant or the like, who can sort out the tax business for you. I know the Inland revenue will say that even if it was their mistake, you should have realised they had made one and have corrected it. Most of us need help to get through that particular jungle.

If nothing else helps, it should be possible to get an agreement with them so you can pay back the tax owing in installments. I don't think they legally can deduct so much that you do not have sufficient to live on.

Good luck finding someone to sort this all out. It is hard work, but it can be done.

Try contacting your local branch of Christians against poverty ( should be on Google). They don't just help Christians and they are experts in this kind of thing.

Some brilliant suggestions above. I definately think a trip to CAB to make sure you’re getting all that you’re entitled to is in order plus to help you to fight HMRC, Also maybe worth having a look at getting paid to do online surveys etc You Gov is one such site and you get cash after completing so ever many surveys, Maybe try growing some of your own food if you have a garden which may also help with your mental health. How about doing some babysitting for neighbours? That can be a pleasurable way to earn some extra cash.

If you have been hacked then be very care that it is the HMRC that is asking you for money as this is a well known scam. Life doesn't deal equally when it comes to lifestyles and is very unfair. Some have it some don't. I feel very sorry that you have been dealt blow after blow. Go to the Citizen's Advice, they might be able to advice. In the meantime try to count your blessings and what is good in your life (health, family etc) - it sometimes helps.

I ended my marriage due to financial abuse. My ex was bringing home half of what he earned [I was unaware for a long time as it was paid cash not cheque then]...and was putting in every penny of my part time job, worried sick. I paid all the bills, he didn't have a clue what it all amounted too. We had 2 small boys and he deprived them of a normal, happy childhood where we had few holidays and few treats/days out etc.

So I come from a background of having to make every penny count [not given pocket money in teen years, abusive marriage, as a single parent, then not being able to work fulltime due to health reasons]. I've gone without all the holidays and other things people have and take for granted. So I know fully how it is to struggle for year after year, cutting corners everywhere possible believe me. Even having to each cheap meals the vast majority of the time. But it's only made me eat sensibly and healthily with nothing over for alcohol or rubbish food. Walking instead of using petrol has made me fitter than a lot my age. Not being able to afford tradesmen has made me skilled in tiling, decorating, repurposing furniture, upholstery and woodwork. Installed my own kitchen for eg.
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Now on state pension [£135.75] per week I have to pay all bills, 75% council tax, keep my car going etc.etc. as I was left a decent sum of money, now my savings, when my mother died...so can't claim pension credit. Interest on that inheritance topped up my pension but no longer does of course.
I don't have central heating, I heat water only when I need it, I buy many clothes/furniture [often new] in charity shops, my last holiday was 8 years ago [no one to go with].

But I feel rich I really do. I've a house [it was cheap, is modest and needed loads of work doing top to bottom, now lovely] and beautiful garden, an old car, 4 grandchildren, 2 sons and I love so many things. Walking, reading, good TV, using the laptop, gardening, meeting a friend, a picnic, countryside, sunshine, laughter cost little or nothing.

Try and look at life a little differently. I know people who have enormous incomes and expensive homes and lifestyles and I don't envy any of them as there is another story behind each front door.

Please, songstress try HMRC again - my OH faced just this situation, and called them to say that as a retired person he couldn't pay that kind of sum without hardship - had it come to light when he was working it would have been a different matter. They were sympathetic, and the woman he spoke to waived the amount - the relief was huge. Lots more good advice on here about coping, but I do urge you to try again - you have nothing to lose by appealing to the good nature of those in charge, and we have found that there is a kind side to that organisation. Good luck.

You sound depressed so do see your GP and change if you feel that one is not for you as suggested earlier. Secondly make sure you are getting all the benefits you maybe entitled to like pension credit or attendence allowance. You can ask for payments to be reduced to tax, they may not agree but worth asking. Contact CRB and stepchange. Good luck its hard not having a spare penny

I am so sorry you are suffering like this. You have been abused when you have done nothing wrong to deserve it. The anger and rage and resentment you are feeling all the time is distressing you badly. It is natural to have these feelings. Many people will have felt like this at some time in their lives for various reasons. It is natural to lash out and feel anger with all sorts of people around you in these circumstances. You will get over this. People do. It is not easy. Life is a struggle and unfair but these extreme feelings will pass. I think you know yourself you should probably see your GP. That is why you say, “Don’t tell me to do that.” It doesn’t really matter whether she has experienced what you are experiencing or not. That is not what she is there for. But even if you don’t, you will find ways of accepting what has happened in time. I am wondering whether you may have already been anxious about money before this and that is fuelling some of your distress. It is understandable. We cannot always control what happens to us but we can do something to change how we think about it so as to reduce additional mental and emotional suffering which we don’t need to bear on top of everything else. You have taken a good step in writing here. I know it is not easy. Good luck.

If the bank won’t play ball over the hacking, consider going to the Financial Ombudsman.

I am so desperately sorry to hear about your awful Dilemma. I really can’t add any more tips to assist you other than what has already suggested, however I wish you luck for 2021& hope you find some way of resolving the hardship. I know how it feels to have people talk about expensive holidays and lavish shopping trips when you do not have anywhere near the same amount in the bank as they do. It is so insensitive and can make you feel very low. I just tend to ignore them and say I do not intend to travel abroad in future and won’t be renewing my expired passport, I’m happy to spend my cash in the U.K. to support British businesses that have suffered hardship throughout the pandemic, when we are permitted to travel safely. Also we are being encouraged to not contribute towards the throw away fashion industry, my clothing has always lasted me years and years. I do not need Professor Green& Dawn Porter to advertise Ecover laundry products& endorse the re-use of clothing, I’ve been doing this all of my life as my budget does not allow hundreds of pounds worth of holiday clothing each year like some folk I know.

I think this has a lot to do too with kind of, not living the life you feel you should be living, part of your resentment, (quite rightly) has that element. I feel very much the same and I've had my fair share of admittedly making poor choices, but also being made responsible for other people's/institutional errors.

I'm on an incredibly low budget, but I feel sure you will be entitled to Pension Credit. Also, your water board can put you on discretionary payments, mine is just £13.00 per month. Octopus Energy were fab, and I'm on their lowest tariff too.

Take a day to get all these money-saving things in place, you may think it's pointless but it really isn't. Also, find your 'tribe'. There are truly many, many ladies just like you, in the same position.

Resentment is horrible because it makes you bitter and it often shows in your face and mannerisms and how you react to the world in general. Give yourself a goal to change it up, this is the start of a new year and the perfect time for that anger to drive you, it can be a very positive emotion.

I honestly 'get' where you are coming from, but unfortunately, the changes won't come knocking at your door. There are lots of sympathetic agencies for mature ladies like us, who need to get their finances sorted. Ring them on Monday. Good luck, let us know how you get on, and try to stop worrying, easier said than done I know xxx

When my husband died thirty years ago I was struggling for yeas to manage on the State Pension but someone advised me to try to get Pension Credit. I had £, 5000 in savings. I applied and got Pension Credit Guarantee. This means I get my Council Tax paid as well as other benefits re dental treatment and something off my glasses.
Apparently 100,000 people fail to apply for Pension Credit.
Now because severe arthritis makes mobility difficult and extremely painful I also get the lower end of Attendance Allowance which enables me to employ some one to help with housework.
Some people are ashamed to claim benefits. Both my husband and I fought for our country during the war and it contributed to his early death so I feel it owes me.

Be happy with what you have and stop being resentful as that doesn’t help anyone especially you. You get out what you put in.

We do have a very unfair pension system. I’m all for everyone getting something but for us not to be compensated for years of contributions is unfair. What really gets me is how the unions fought so hard for public sector employees to get a decent pension so they are sitting pretty and costing us a fortune instead of fighting for a decent contribution based state pension for everyone .
Every other country has contribution-based systems, I paid for 40 years paid top up for the few years I was full time mother, paid for private pension which stopped when coop went into liquidation... I now get less than two friends who have hardly ever worked out of choice, in fact they get more than me because they are on pension credit and get free dental care, no council tax etc etc. Luckily my mum left me some money..so am not in dire straits.. I feel for you

Scarers not sharers

Skweek1 do not pay the debt collectors. They are just trying to put the sharers on. You do not owe them any money. Instead send them a letter asking them to prove it. They then have to refer it back to the company claiming the debt who have to give exact details of what you owe and when. Once satisfied that the debt is genuine deal direct with the company you owe money to and negotiate a deal to pay it off at a rate you can afford.

Back in 2009 my DM died, leaving me £10K. Our only income was husband's ESA/DLA and because I had some savings, bringing in next to nothing in interest, I invested it in a long-term bond as the best possible return (4.5%). Then the powers that be told DH that they calculated that we had somehow amassed £52,000. It took our local financial assistance adviser some 2 years to prove that we had less than £16,000 and then I was finally given pension credit, but in the meantime we're still disputing the loss of housing and council tax benefits (they are still claiming the best part of £10,000) and my DH received a letter a few days ago from a debt collection agency threatening bailiff action. I've got an EPA for his affairs and have written to the debt collectors offering all I can currently pay as holding action, but I bet they'll argue that we can pay more. Not without going further in debt we can't and I'm a saver not a spender, hating debt. I have just been given a credit card, but don't plan to use it except to build my credit rating. The frightening thing is that although I'm financially savvy, I find myself wishing that my 88-year old seriously ill MIL would die to get us out of this mess, which is a dreadful thing to wish for. We're sole beneficiaries and she has savings and a house. So I really sympathise with those of you with unfair financial status issues.