Financial hardship in later life

I feel for you, I've been in similar positions and its not nice. I think your MP is the way to go, its the gov't who manage tax, benefits etc & if something isn't working they need to know so they can influence national policy. HMRC take more notice of MP's than CAB too. Its not a very kind government we have, when we said we wanted tax collected properly we meant from big business not ordinary folk.

It is so nice to read so many supportive posts and I really feel for you songstress.

I agree with everything that has been said about seeking financial advice from CAB, having a benefits check and all the other suggestions. Try to pursue these ideas if you feel able to.

I would also concentrate on finding friends who are in a similar position. The food bank is a good idea and also anything to do with animals/ animal rights. Volunteering at a local dog/ cat shelter, volunteering at a wildlife hospital - have a look to see what opportunities there are in your area.

We don’t have much ourselves, but we did once, so sometimes I struggle with resentful and bitter feelings. However, I now have lots of friends who enjoy the simple things in life like I do - volunteering and working with animals, walking, cycling. Keeping busy also keeps my mind from thinking bad thoughts, worrying, feeling anxious etc.

I enjoy buying clothes off Ebay or from charity shops and no shame in that, my friends do the same. We enjoy getting a bargain!

HMRC are a nightmare (we were self employed) and I’m so very sorry to hear that they dropped this on you. It is so unfair when you have reached a stage in your life when money is tight.

Wishing you all the very best and hope it all works out for you x ?

As others have suggested, try the CAB, Age UK or even the Benefits helpline itself. All three are there to help you, although the CAB are inundated at the moment.

There are many people out there who understand. Contact the CAB and Age UK immediately. Telk them about the bank refusing to refund the fraud committed against you also. They may suggest contacting the Financial Ombudsman, who review this free of charge.
Also please consider that the car someone drives does not suggest their level of compassion or understanding, they may have dealt with many cases similar to yours in the past, or had experience of hardship before. I struggled for many years financially even buying food for my children was difficult. However my circumstances have changed and I recently bought myself a new car! I may too look like someone who wouldn't understand, but I do!

Songstress60 lots of good advice on here. One extra, I know it isn’t easy but try to let go of your frustration and your rage or you could become ill as a consequence of the stress. Dh sold his business and 6 years later HMRC demanded £1000000 which we did not have, and threatened him with jail if he did not pay immediately. They were absolute barstewards. We had to employ a specialist to deal with them and sort it out at a fraction of their unjustified demands. This took 2 years of hell but we survived except dh ended up having open heart surgery which I am sure was not unrelated.

So try to take care of yourself. Nil illigitimi carborandum. Take pleasure in the simple things. They are often the best and don’t need money.

I really do feel for you, Songstress. Lots of advice on here about financial help which is well worth pursuing. But meanwhile if you can possibly work to try and let go of the bitterness you feel about the unfairness of it all, I know it will help you to feel better about life, which is worth much more than material things. It's not easy and I don't want to sound sanctimonious, but I do speak from experience and know that letting go of the past is a step towards a more fulfilling and contented life. I will be thinking of you.

Please don’t write your GP off just because she drives a big car. When I was struggling I saw my GP and he was amazing! Not only was he willing to listen but he was able to point me in the direction of people who could help. Make an appointment with Citizens Advice, they can help you too. But don’t let it come between you and your friends, it’s not their fault and it would be a shame if you end up distancing yourself from them. Hope you can find the right support for you

I'm sorry that you have suffered a run of had luck financially. Yes, life can seem unfair at times. From my experience of Ill health (for two years) and resulting homelessness (ended up in a homeless hostel because I was too ill to work) and obviously financial problems because of this, I found that Yoga ( free online classes ) , walking in nature and eventually after I recovered working with horses again helped me psychologically. My situation has now improved but I will have to wait until I'm about 68 to retire. Being grateful for what you do have helps and comparing your life to others with more wealth is a road to unhappiness. I definitely feel that being out in nature or being around horses is very healing and makes you feel better. Just thought I'd add that money and wealth does not protect you from all of life's woes!

Money Box on Radio 4 deals with this sort of problem. If the Bank is refusing to reimburse you and HMRC are taking payments from your pension when the mistake is theirs, email MONEY BOX.
I have also in the past contacted the financial guru in a Daily newspaper who solves problems such as this, all newspapers have this facility in the financial section once a week. I wrote to them when a utility company made an error in my bill and demanded over a £1,000. The newspaper contacted the company who in turn called me and apologised. They realised their mistake rather than take on the newspaper and the case was dropped.

I do understand your anger. I too am retiring with no private pension as I was divorced long before the Pension Act and I could not afford to pay into a private pension bringing up 3 children on my own with no maintenance. I would contact the banking ombudsman about the failure of the bank to pay back the money stolen from your account and ask them to investigate the refusal. I would also do a benefit check online on turn2us or the CAB website. U need to check the benefit position definately asap. Do you own a property? Could you sell and downsize? If you rent you could get housing benefit. The benefit check will tell u whether u can get this. I do understand yr anger. My ex has house free of mortgage a pension and a holiday home all from avoiding his responsibilities to me and his children. But, I had to learn to deal with the anger and bitterness as it was destroying me mentally and physically. You do have my sympathies, but you have to move forward and the suggestions above could be a good start. I would also suggest some counselling which can be arranged via your GP. Good luck.

Please contact Citizens Advice as soon as possible. They will help you sort out all of these issues. The bank has an obligation to repay you as you were scammed.
Don’t give up the fight . It is hard but you will win

When I was receiving child tax credit I was told I had been overpaid, and was asked to pay back thousands. I knew it wasn't my error so refused. This went on and on with them sending me letters threatening to sue. I told them to go ahead because I had nothing to give them. They gave up, but it was very stressful at the time. You should not have to pay it back if it wasn't your error. Seek advice.

Please talk to your GP....it’s rather a sweeping generalisation to assume that as she’s well off she has no empathy for those who aren’t as fortunate as her....she might be able to refer you to people who can help. Don’t be too proud to accept help no one will look down on anyone who is down on their luck through no fault of their own. Take care and remember that it will pass.

I would speak to the Citizens Advice Bureau (they are a charitable enterprise and give free advice) ..or speak to an Independant Financial Advisor (they do not charge for advice...only earn from money you may invest)

Sounds like your bank was wrong not reimburse fraudulent activity and HMRC might be wrong?

In any case pointless being envious of others..
We’re all in the same storm (thought not the same boat ?)
Nobody is going on holiday or the shops for the foreseeable..
Just be thankful you have your health and your home
Take care honey ?

So very sorry to hear about your situation. Have you thought about writing to you MP. It's the kind of thing politicians like to get involved with. I have read of their intervention working before. I hope 2021 brings better times.

I can't help with any more suggestions than have been made, but I offer you my heartfelt sympathy.

Hello Songstress
I can highly recommend StepChange debt charity, they will do a budget for you and talk with agencies to come to a fair amount to pay back monthly. Financial stress is hard but with them you feel like you have someone to talk to who understands. They do not charge or ask anything in return.

please try and look to the positives... I know it feels like an up hill battle but you will survive, advice is hard to give but seek someone or professional body who can help you through this crisis.... you will come out of this ... bright blessings

Yes please do check with AgeUK and the CAB to see if you can get pension credit. If you are renting then ask your local council for a firm to apply for housing assistance with your rent. Do not under any circumstance think any assistance you apply is a handout. It is what you are entitled to.
As regards the cleaning job offered if you intend to take it ensure you have a written agreement what you have to do fir the agreed fees. If they ask you to do anything outside what is in writing let them know immediately it is not what was contracted for and if it is to be done the fees will be £x per hour or part of an hour. They want to be businesslike you do the same. No favours as they will not do you any.

If someone scammed you out of money the Bank should pay. I was scammed and the Bank reimbursed me .

Not sure what you expect to hear on this site life is crap for loads of people with no solution

Much as I sympathise, because it all sounds horrendous, you really can't judge your GP by where she went to school and what car she drives!

Yes, do ring CAB, but remember that at the moment you will not be able to speak face to face with an advisor, it will be over the phone.
An organisation which helps with tax issues is Tax Aid.
taxaid.org.uk/guides/taxpayers
They help taxpayers over 60, who have not been able to solve tax problems with HMRC.

Songstress, you could also try these organisations who give free debt advice :

www.stepchange.org/

capuk.org/

Dinahmo
True.
It could even be that two different tax offices could be involved and the bill can be challenged on the grounds that they did not communicate.