Very Worried, What on earth do I do?

Pammie1

@eazybee. The problem is that if this has been done to circumvent care home fees for the husband, and therefore leave the inheritance intact, which a lot of trust funds are designed to do, his income will be taken to pay for care. This will in all likelihood leave the wife unable to afford to live in the house. Downsizing would be tricky legally and what pays for her own care needs later on. I think a conversation is needed to persuade him that he has not adequately provided for her. The courts would also take into account money she has ‘invested’ in the upkeep of the house and contributions towards the running of the household - I have a friend who ended up selling his home to reimburse his ex partner in this way after they split up. I would imagine something similar would apply here. Might be worth totting up how much she has contributed so far and then keep records of expenses from now on.

I might be in the same situation as OP. I am going to sell my house and move into my Fiancé’s house. We do intend to get married at a later date. It is a good idea to write down everything I spend on the upkeep of his house. Also I always thought that the wife was the legal next of kin. My situation is doubly difficult because I will have the money from the sale of my house. He has AC and so do I as well as GC. I will insist that we see a solicitor together, but I have made it quite clear to the AC that what is his is his and what is mine is mine. He did mention that if he died first I would be able to stay in his house but I am not having that, I will take steps straight away to protect myself. He does not want to sell his house and buy a bigger house together in joint names which would be easier. I also agree with other posters that he was wrong to write a will without discussing it with his wife. That doesn’t bode well.

Please consult a solicitor asap. This happened to a friend of mine many years ago. The AC inherited the house but 2 of them sold out to their elder sister. She then told my fiend that whilst she could stay for life the property was being converted into flats. My friend who was used to living in a massive house ended up in 2 rooms.

I meant to say say READ this will not tear it

Get and tear this will yourself immediately so that you can understand the ins and outs.
My husband is a twin and always thought his parents would half their wills to include him and his sister equally.
That didn’t happen as we had our own home and she still lived at home . She was left the house and the money . Her brother had been a good son doing a lot for his parents and worked extremely hard to provide his home where as she had always lived at home with no pressures of having to provide for a family . The unfairness of it still eats away at me big time . I will never forgive them and wish we had known before they passed so that we could address the thinking behind their decision.
Myhusband just says he has to accept it and doesn’t want as usual to upset his sister by challenging or talking about it .
She thinks it’s all good and hasn’t a thought about any unfairness or problem with it . Sometimes I feel I,m going to explode and risk what I know would cause a rift between us but I keep quiet because of my husbands wishes.
Get it sorted now before it’s too late to alter a scenario he may not even have thought about properly.
The damage will be permanent .... I can’t even bare looking at their photo without feeling angry .It so unfair !

I am not sure that a solicitor can be of much help at this stage unless you can show him a copy of the will.
You and your husband need to have a frank conversation, which you should have done when you were about to marry. If you can clarify the situation, then I would try to persuade your husband to accompany you to see a solicitor, complete with will, so s/he can explain the implications of it and what your rights as a widow would be - and vice versa.
Do you have children? You obviously have a chunk of savings as you offered to buy half his house when you married. If you die first, who will inherit your savings? Have you made a will?Without a will, it will be your husband, for the most part. If you have used a fair amount of your money on the house, there will be less for your children to inherit. Maybe your husband could consider that, and leave some of his savings to you.
My husband and I are on our second marriage, each with adult children, but we own our house as tenants in common, with a life interest so that the surviving spouse can stay in the house. I can see that in some situations this can create problems if the children are keen to get their inheritance.
As I said, before rushing off to see a solicitor yourself, you and your husband need to sort out the position.

Just a thought what if you were able to buy half of the house then give your share to his children. Would that make you joint legal owner of the property. I may be talking rubbish here but thought I’d put that in the mix.

One reason I wont remarry, I really feel for you and like others have said take legal advice asap

A friends mother married late in life and they were together for 12 years before he sadly passed away. In all that time she did everything for him and paid her share of the bills. When he died, she found out that he had left her nothing apart from the right to live in his house until she died or left to go into a home. Surely, he could have left a percentage of his estate to her in recognition for all she had done for him. After all, when you marry later in life the commitment is different to marrying in your 20's and you undertake a more caring role if one partner has age related health issues.
Luckily in this case, her step children recognised all she had done for their father (thus easing their responsibility in their fathers last few years) and shared part of his estate with her. But she was extremely hurt that it had to come to this and she was not considered worth anything to him when push came to shove.

Alarm bells started to ring when I read your post..... please do go and see a solicitor and take professional advice. Personally, I would have thought that out of respect to you as his wife your husband should have discussed with you first how he wished to leave his estate when he dies or has to go into care. Also, as a loving husband surely he would want to make sure adequate provision was provided for his wife.

Livlass you have a legal right to an interest in the property. You can't predict the future, though, so best to consult a solicitor (online) for peace of mind.

@eazybee. The problem is that if this has been done to circumvent care home fees for the husband, and therefore leave the inheritance intact, which a lot of trust funds are designed to do, his income will be taken to pay for care. This will in all likelihood leave the wife unable to afford to live in the house. Downsizing would be tricky legally and what pays for her own care needs later on. I think a conversation is needed to persuade him that he has not adequately provided for her. The courts would also take into account money she has ‘invested’ in the upkeep of the house and contributions towards the running of the household - I have a friend who ended up selling his home to reimburse his ex partner in this way after they split up. I would imagine something similar would apply here. Might be worth totting up how much she has contributed so far and then keep records of expenses from now on.

Definitely get legal advice but perhaps - to keep the atmosphere sweet - (and if you feel ok about it) suggest DH is there as well as you only want to know legally where you stand in this rather than challenge his decision. He may not realise what he has done in legal terms

It's really important that this will is drawn up properly. You need to take legal advice.

Yes

Please As Aepgirl says Get a solicitor.

The same thing happened to my mums friend. Now at 90 she cannot sell as the proceeds would go to his children. He also made his children trustees and if she wants to do anything to the property they have to give permission. She had to get this for handles at the front door to help her get in. It took months. She was never sure they liked her but played the game when their father was alive. It was obvious after he died they did not. He died 15 years ago and all they want is for her to as well.
She has good friends and neighbours but it’s heartbreaking

You must consult a solicitor.

Also - we bought our house from a lady whose husband had left it to his 2 sons, with the proviso she could live there as long as she wanted. BUT one of the sons made her life a misery (probably egged on by his girlfriend who wanted him to extract the money and buy a house with her), constantly coming around and ringing her and harassing her, until she gave in and put the house up for sale. Even if it states in the Will that you can live there, don't assume it will be trouble-free - depends on your relationship with his children.

How sad your husband didn't tell you before he did it.

I do know a friend whose father was 6 years into a second marriage when he died. His wife inherited everything - house, business, investments - all of it - and then passed it all on to her children. My friend and her brother inherited zero - even though the business had been in her mother's family for decades, and she'd wanted them to have it. This may be what your husband is trying to prevent (sorry). BUT it puts you in a very difficult position and you need legal advice immediately. If he refuses to let you see the will, then I would ask him what he's trying to hide? Has he been entirely truthful with you? And, as a very last resort, you may need to start divorce proceedings - where the division of money and property will be up to the divorce court and his will doesn't count (as he's not dead yet) - as far as I know. Otherwise, if he hasn't been entirely honest, you may find yourself out on the street when he dies. If he won't let you see it, then I would be a little suspicious (sorry) and you need to make sure that you will be okay ASAP.

My husband died five years ago and the house was left to my stepson but I can live here for the rest of my life. There should be no problem and I think that I could make alterations if I wanted to do that, however that might be worth checking. Also it might be an idea to set in place a Power of Attorney in case he gets dementia. It doesn't have to be activated until needed. Definitely as others have said see a solicitor.

I would be very disappointed if my husband made a will without discussion with me first.

I am currently in the same situation as the OP except that it has already happened. My partner of 15 years - we were not married - died earlier this year and left our home, which he owned, in a Trust leaving me the Right of Occupation for as long as I chose. He also left money to enable me to afford to live here and I have the obligation to maintain the house in good order. His children, the Executors of his Will, are doing their damndest to get me out but my position is safe legally. It is a deeply unpleasant situation to be in but I am staying put - which is what my beloved partner wanted.

It sounds like that is the case SusieFlo, but what a way to go about it. No discussion.

Livlass, what a predicament to be in, and to be told after the event, I really would recommend you see a solicitor (with a copy of the will in question) to establish what your rights are, should you need to pay for care, etc. Nannarose makes a good point, whilst you could move to something smaller, it sounds like at that point the AC would inherit the proceeds from the house sale. You could stay there till you die, and they would have no right to make your life difficult, but do you want that hanging around your head. Go see a solicitor, invidually and then I would go together too, so both parties know what is in store.

I presume he is concerned that if you have equal share in the house his children could be disinherited should he die before you. Do you have children yourself? If so then they they could then inherit the house when you die and his own children would have nothing. This happened with some neighbours of ours.