Very Worried, What on earth do I do?

Some good advice here, rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/marriage-your-rights-to-your-home/

Peasblossom

I think I understood Suzy. If we had taken out life policies for £100,000 + my equity of 70,000 I could have rebought my house straight away. 10 years down the line I would have been £100,000 short of what I needed to repurchase.

I’m just wondering how he covered that possibility.

I’m very worried about the OP. I can see she could be left in a situation where she can neither go nor stay.

The decision was made 10 yrs ago not to retain a second house, with hindsight this was a mistake, probably there is no way to guarantee a house free of debt for the future. Retaining or buying a retirement place for a bereaved spouse can usually only be done well in advance, because spare cash for life insurance is not available.

I think I understood Suzy. If we had taken out life policies for £100,000 + my equity of 70,000 I could have rebought my house straight away. 10 years down the line I would have been £100,000 short of what I needed to repurchase.

I’m just wondering how he covered that possibility.

I’m very worried about the OP. I can see she could be left in a situation where she can neither go nor stay.

it is easy and all too frequent to bully/ coerce/harass an older person, out of a property, whatever the law says.
OP is being realistic to consider this a likely possibility.
and if AC have POA, that further dilutes her security, as they could make decisions adverse to her, even while spouse is alive.
get advice urgently. and get out if you can. divorce is to secure what you can while you can. look out for yourself, they won't.

This sounds a very practical solution the partner knows that as the survivior he will have to move out and a life insurance is in place to help him relocate. There may be a period between going into care and death which could be prolonged, so there might be a hitch there I’m not sure what would happen in that case.

Sorry Pleasebossom Maybe I didn’t make my post clear. All my friend has done is to take out an insurance on her life for an amount she’s chosen. This has nothing to do with the value or anticipated value of her home nor is it charged to her home. All it will do is enable her partner to have funds to either buy a small property or rent somewhere which will be in addition to the funds he already has from his previous property. Obviously this is only if she predeceases him. Her partner helps with the day to day household bills but all maintenance and home improvement work is paid for solely by my friend.

I don’t actually know for a fact, but I think that they can’t ‘sell the house’ to pay care home fees etc if the spouse is still alive and living there. Butfor peace of mind, have a chat to a solicitor.
What a pity his Adult Children don’t get a grip of themselves.

We looked at this option Suzy, but it carried with it the problem of house price rises if we lived a long time, and not being able to take out additional insurance to cover this as you got older.

The house I sold to move in with OH was bought 10 years ago for 170,000. Ones like it now sell for 285,000. The amount needed to cover potential price rises was prohibitively expensive given our ages.

My friend’s partner moved into her home about 7 years ago. It is a beautiful house and the one she lived in with her husband before he died and where they brought up their 2 AC. Her will leaves everything to her 2 AC and specifies partner will have to move out on her death. Her partner is fully aware of this. What she has done though is to take out life insurance on her life which her partner will inherit in the event of her death.
I think this is fair as if my friend who’s 66 was to die now, her AC may have to wait years to inherit the proceeds of their father’s working life. He was chief accountant of a large company on a substantial salary and would definitely have intended his children to reap the benefits of his life’s work. The partner sold his property before he moved in with my friend and although he had a small mortgage he did receive an amount of equity so with my friend’s contribution, will be able to buy a smaller property.

Sorry should be POA Power of Attorney not POW ?

Legalities depend on where you live Get a lawyer to advise ASAP

Oh my word,thankyou so much EVERYONE who gave me such good advice. I,m overwhelmed. My husband refuses to discuss anything about this will. We live in a affluent area so once alone my pension wouldn’t go far and I would have to use my savings to pay bills. I heard him discussing POW with his eldest AC so that might have already been settled. There’s no way that his AC would let me stay,I would be harrassed to death, they would want the house sold. I have already made a will so my AC are ok.A few of you have suggested divorce and yes maybe I should just cut my losses and walk away.But I will go and get legal advice as soon as it’s possible.

You need expert advice from a Solicitor who deals solely in Trusts and Wills. Go to a large firm that has a solid reputation and pay for the advice. In legal matters you get what you pay for.

Good advice and exactly what you need to do!

I worry about my situation in the same way, I have children from 2 previous marriages, husband doesn't. We both sold properties to buy this one together and married. I worry that if I die first he will move in a new woman ( to look after him and do housework gardening ect....) And then when he dies new woman would inherit everything that was mine that I would want to go to my children. As he doesn't have a will as far as I know, and wouldn't show me it if he did, I just have to hope things work out, but I will need to write a will to say that my half of the property should go to my children should he sell or die. Its already a bungalow for retirement so he wouldn't need to sell for smaller.

Can I put another side on this. You married 4 years ago and offered half the money so you would be joint owners, 2hich your husband refused, yet you still went ahead. Where were you living prior to the marriage? Surely in a couple of years you haven’t spent all that money, so you’re practically back to where you were 4 years ago. If that house belonged to the children’s mother and father I can see how they would be aggrieved. It is their inheritance, that is why I would never remarry. I and my siblings never received one penny after my father remarried and died a short time afterwards with new wife, who remarried after selling up got the lot. My father would never have wanted that.

Seajaye

If you are married you will have rights of occupational in respect of the matrimonial home, even if not in joint names, and the property can't be sold to pay for care home charges while you live there, although a charge can be put on the title and payable when the home is eventually sold . You will also have a right to challenge the will if reasonable provision has not been made for you.. It sounds like reasonable provision has been made to give you a life interest. A late second marriage often results in provisions for second spouse to have life interest and then for property to pass to adult children of first marriage after death of second spouse. You should take legal advice on what you can do with the life interest as sometimes the ' tenant for life' has the power of sale if they need to move, but the trust for the adult chikdren transfers to new property in substitution. Sometimes a post death variation can also be negotiated by executors with
all the beneficiariess, if adult children want their inheritance earlier, for example if there is enough money available to make alternative settlement, if all parties can agree on terms. Take legal advice, and don't forget to make your own will as you might die before your husband, especially if you do not want all your assets to eventually go via him to his children..

This is a very close practical account of how it works in most situations

If you are married you will have rights of occupational in respect of the matrimonial home, even if not in joint names, and the property can't be sold to pay for care home charges while you live there, although a charge can be put on the title and payable when the home is eventually sold . You will also have a right to challenge the will if reasonable provision has not been made for you.. It sounds like reasonable provision has been made to give you a life interest. A late second marriage often results in provisions for second spouse to have life interest and then for property to pass to adult children of first marriage after death of second spouse. You should take legal advice on what you can do with the life interest as sometimes the ' tenant for life' has the power of sale if they need to move, but the trust for the adult chikdren transfers to new property in substitution. Sometimes a post death variation can also be negotiated by executors with
all the beneficiariess, if adult children want their inheritance earlier, for example if there is enough money available to make alternative settlement, if all parties can agree on terms. Take legal advice, and don't forget to make your own will as you might die before your husband, especially if you do not want all your assets to eventually go via him to his children..

//I think that advising divorce is making a huge leap in most circumstances, and particularly based on so little.//

Absolutely.

@Nannan2 I agree with Doodledog. Why should his children be disinherited because he has married again? I would hate that to happen to my children.

You need expert advice from a Solicitor who deals solely in Trusts and Wills. Go to a large firm that has a solid reputation and pay for the advice. In legal matters you get what you pay for.

welbeck

why would a husband make a will without involving his wife in the planning of it. and then resist showing her the will. she should certainly have a copy of it.
i would consider divorce proceedings in this situation.

Has the OP said that he has resisted showing her the will? I have thread the thread, but don't remember seeing her state this - apologies if she has.

Again, I think that there are people jumping to conclusions here - the husband is 'not a nice man', and he should be divorced.

There is not a lot of information on which to base these judgements (not that the OP should feel that she has to reveal any more detail). All we know is that this is how the will was set up after four years of marriage, and that the OP is unsure of how that will leave her if he predeceases her, which he may not, and that there are children from a previous marriage.

It may be that there are other things going on behind the scenes, but equally there may not. We don't know if the OP is well-provided for after a life of working and saving, or from inheritance or a previous marriage. We don't know whether the OP has children of her own, or even whether the husband inherited the house in trust himself and is obliged to leave it to his children.

I think that advising divorce is making a huge leap in most circumstances, and particularly based on so little.

why would a husband make a will without involving his wife in the planning of it. and then resist showing her the will. she should certainly have a copy of it.
i would consider divorce proceedings in this situation.

I’m coming at this from the other direction. My partner moved into my property, and with the help of a solicitor I set up a trust leaving my home and assets to my adult children, with the proviso that my partner could live out his days in my house. There was also a clause inserted that the trust could purchase a smaller property for him, if that was what wanted. All upkeep would be covered by the trust, and my children were kept informed, so that there would be no surprises. All this became moot as he died a few years ago, but it is possible to make everything watertight. We visited the solicitor together, so he knew exactly how it was set up for his peace of mind.
I think, as others have said, that you need to clarify your position with a solicitor, although I don’t think that you can demand sight of his actual will without his permission.
Hope everything can be sorted for you. I feel so sorry for you, as this is such a worrying position to be in.

Nannan2

Why would he not just leave you the house?What sort of a husband is he??And why not leave you the savings to use for the upkeep of the house whilst you live there?He doesnt sound a very nice man in my opinion.?

How can you say someone is 'not a nice man' based on so little information?

The couple have been married for four years, and the OP presumably has money of her own as she offered to put a lump sum into the ownership of the house. The fact that her husband didn't accept this suggests to me that he was thinking about his children's inheritance, which is only natural.

If I pre-deceased my husband and he remarried then left the house to his wife of four years I would come back and haunt him . I worked to pay for half of the house, and expect to leave it to our children, not to a future wife. If that makes me 'not very nice', then so be it.

Obviously life goes on after the death of a spouse, and seriously, I would hope that he would find and be happy with someone else if I went first, but that doesn't mean that I would be happy for her to take my children's inheritance. Our wills say that each inherits from the other, and if we go together everything goes to the children. Whatever the legal position, I would expect the principle behind that joint decision to continue after one or other of us died.

I think that allowing the OP to stay in the house as long as she wants to is a fair recognition of the fact that she is his wife now, but I can't see how there is a moral case for her being entitled to more than that. The money that she has contributed would have had to be spent wherever she lived, so is not reason enough to expect to inherit everything.

The fact that the children of his first marriage are, apparently, unstable means that yes, the OP needs to protect her interests, and I agree that her husband should have included her in the discussions all along. In her situation I would be asking to see the will, and getting legal advice about what it could mean in practice, and then looking into how best to ensure that I wasn't going to be left homeless or otherwise compromised in older age.

The OP doesn't say what will happen to her own money if she goes first - I would be looking closely at that, too. Overall, it is a complicated situation that could have been avoided if the husband had been upfront about things all along, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he is 'not a nice man.'

Please go and see a Solicitor yourself and get advice to protect you in the event that your husband died before you... you must!