Legal Guardianship

They should not have done this without discussion and agreement. You are wise to be concerned.

I think you need to talk to your husband about the realities of this responsibility, if the worst happened. Might be best to find out how he is really feeling about it before talking about your concerns.

If he understands the concerns then there needs to be a discussion with the children's parents about the realities for their children if the worst happened...in terms of 2 elderly grandparents who may or may not be able to look after them which might mean the children have to go into care etc etc.

An alternative is that their grandfather can be named as a person with equal responsibility (there is a name for this but I can't remember what it is) for making decisions about the children's future if the worst happened. This means that he must be part of the decision making process re who the children live with etc

I would suggest that it might be wise to have a discussion with a solicitor about the options available before talking to his daughter.

Thanks Madgran for your reply - that’s exactly what I felt - it should have been discussed especially given the nature of the ‘up and down relationship’. I’m glad you don’t think I’m worrying unnecessarily.

Whilst I agree that there should have been consultation, naming you in this way doesn't necessarily mean that you have to move the children or undertake their day-to-day care. It means that you are the people they trust to make decisions.
You could, in consultation with the children and the rest of the family (and Social Services) decide that they are best with someone else in the family.
I have known 2 families where this has happened. The parents felt that the children's grandparents had the experience, wisdom, and family overview to be a major part of the decision making. In both cases, the children went to younger family members, but with grandparents helping to organise this and remaining a large part of their lives.
So, yes it is a big responsibility, and your reaction understandable, but I hope this helps.

Yes, I agree there should be consultation. I also hope there is life insurance to come with the guardianship., in fact I would insist upon it.

If the worst should happen, there should be no financial burden on the guardians. With elderly grandparents, this could mean extra housing costs or boarding school.

I know we are named as guardians for my daughter's family, and while we are only 59 and 60, and willingly accept the responsibility, there would be additional costs involved for raising another set of children.

social services would not let you adopt the children anyway if your circumstances were not suitable.
so i don't think it is anything to really worry about.
you would be like guardians to be consulted as to how/where the children should be brought up.
but i agree, it seems strange to name you without discussing it.
surprised a solicitor did not ask her about that; that anyone named should be fully informed and willing.

Many years ago we were named as Guardians to our God Children, we had a proper discussion about it and we were shown a fairly hefty Life Insurance policy, which we (jokingly) spoke about each year at the same time as we told the parents that they had to be like the Royal Family and fly separately on holidays ‘just in case’.
The children are now in their 30s and still say that they will come and live with us if anything happens to their parents!
We have downsized............

Oppsadais1 that really made me chuckle. All the comments have been helpful thanks everyone - overnight my initial panic subsided and I spoke to my hubby and asked that he just speak to her and clarify the exact requirements (of course we’d be happy and would indeed want to be involved I just was struck by fear of having full time young children to look after in old age and it all got a bit out of proportion in my head). Does highlight the need for communication though.

In most cases life insurance is essential. The costs of taking this on may be considerable. Various survey suggest £700 per month per child. And what if the guardians house is not big enough. In my part of the country moving from say a 3 bed to a 5 bed house is an extra £355,00 plus of course all the actual legal and estate agency and other costs - hopefully not as much where you are but still a lot. And in your circumstances you would need to add the costs of a nanny or something like that - the costs will escalate. But life insurance can be an easy solution £1million x 25 years for a 30 year old is only £30 per month,