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DAUGHER IN LAW BORROWING MONEY

(33 Posts)
BlueBelle Mon 29-Nov-21 21:09:06

If you ve suggested her doing a driving job surely the need to repair her car is connected?
If you ve advised her contacting Women’s aid is she an abused wife ?
Where’s your son in all this ?
If you can help why not make a direct debit to repay you monthly if you really can’t then you have to say no

Hetty58 Mon 29-Nov-21 19:24:40

Grammy57, I think it's time to start saying no, but emphasise that you simply can't afford it. Say that you wish you could help, but your savings are gone.

Hithere Mon 29-Nov-21 19:21:30

May I ask where the father of the child is?
Is your son the father?

VioletSky Mon 29-Nov-21 19:20:40

If you have decided you will make this loan then just say that. This is the last time I can help you with money.

Then you must stick to that boundary and say no in future, no matter what.

Having a word with your son might help, he has responsibilities here

Smileless2012 Mon 29-Nov-21 19:19:32

You need to firm and honest Grammy. £500 is a lot of money and not wishing to be rude, how do you know her car needs repairing and it will cost that much?

If it were me and I was prepared to foot the bill, I'd want the car taken to a garage of my choice where I'd request an itemised quote for the work needed.

Decide what you want to do and say before talking to her. Write it down and practice and then when you do speak to her, keep to your script.

That should avoid you getting angry, especially if you think about what her response may be if you say this is the last time you can assist her financially.

Good luckflowers.

MissAdventure Mon 29-Nov-21 19:18:10

Is this your son's wife/ex wife?

Shandy57 Mon 29-Nov-21 19:17:11

She is asking for a loan so she can do the job you suggested? Could you afford to accept £50 per month in repayment, so it would be repaid over 10 months?

Grammy57 Mon 29-Nov-21 19:13:12

My grand daughter is an only child and is 14.5 years old. My daughter in law says she had very little money and basically I have been subsidising her for past 6 months. I have told her that I will always be here for her but she needs to start helping hersold. I got her contact details for CMS and Womens Aid. I have also told her about driving jobs which she could take daughter along with her. She said yes yes she would take a look - today she has asked for £500 to repair her car. I do not believe she is helping herself and I want to say No I worked all my life not to give you a free ride. I am afraid I will get angry and say unpleasant things - how can I say, this is the last loan ever, I cannot afford to sub you any longer> - really appreciate any suggestions/help