The implications of a person changing his or her surname

When I married it was only the very odd who did not take the husband's name. The name I took has a nice sound and people generally like it. BUT I now regard it as a socially approved form of abuse, going with the notion that a woman is owned by her father until he 'gives her away'. It pretty effectively wipes out your pre wed identity (as numbering members of an army or prisoners is meant to do - and it works). My birth family has an exceptionally interesting past (in royal history and more recently in Methodism and suffrage) - and I did have some personal achievements in my own right before marriage. Change of name has been destructive for me and I do privately remind myself 'who I am' from time to time. Today I would not take my partners name.

I’ve been married 3 times, twice to men and lastly to another woman. I’ve never changed my surname and it has never crossed my mind to do so. My children took their fathers name to make things clearer for staff when they were at school but again this has never been an issue for anyone.
I’m currently trying to sort out admin stuff for my elderly father and having the same surname as him has been really helpful. Like previous posters have said, I’ve never belonged to anyone so don’t see the reason for a name change.

For my granson, mother's surname, hyphen, father's surname.

I don't know if that's the way it's generally done, though.

I wonder how often surnames become extinct.

Great minds think alike, Smiles.

I was just thinking about first names, because when I worked in care homes, a lot of people used names that were nothing like their given one.

Which one is listed first, and is there a hyphen or a space between them, or do they just join, please?

Our posts crossed MissA and both mentioned double barrelled surnames!!

Not something I've ever thought about TBH. My mum was married 3 times and changed her name each time and my brother changed his surname to a double barrelled one to incorporate our maternal GF's surname.

Changed mine when we were married almost 42 years ago.

Some people combine their surnames into one.
My older grandson has a double barrelled name, but one is more or less dropped, now, as it's such a mouthful.

My granddaughter has the two surnames of her parents as DiL chose to keep hers after marriage, which is common nowadays. I just wonder how this will pan out if DGD marries a lad who is also double barrelled. Will their children have four surnames?

It would be a real page turner, I'm sure.

Sago

Stardreamer If you are asking these questions as research for your book then you need to be transparent.

This is nothing whatsoever to do with my book.

We have been through a bad couple of days with the heatwave, and I just fancied a social chat as I am having a quiet day or two gradually getting over it. I am not writing an article about this, it is not about the book which has been quoted from another thread by someone, not by me.

I have seen various newspaper articles that seem to be based just on quotes from a Mumsnet thread, but I did not do that, and if anybody were to do the same with this thread then it is not me or me giving anybody a hint or whatever.

I know.
Let's all spend all day googling and dispense with chat sites altogether!

My friend changed her name to the surname of the man she was soon to marry.

She was told it was perfectly legal to do so, without any official route.

She had problems with the council accepting that, although everything else was fine.

MawtheMerrier

With access to all your links and the advice you have pointed Oopsadaisy towards, I fail to understand why you have been unable to answer your questions from your own research.
There is curiosity and there is inquisitiveness , one can generally satisfy the former from Google.

This is a social media site, some ladies have mentioned being divorced twice and so on, so I started a thread to discuss what problems, if any, arise in practice over people, female and male, changing their surname, either once or more than once.

The theory might be fine, but when there is someone in officialdom who either has not been trained and does not know what to do or acts on their own prejudices and gets into an oh oh oh stuffiness attitude it might well not work in practice.

Stardreamer If you are asking these questions as research for your book then you need to be transparent.

It's difficult here in France as a woman's maiden name is used on all official documents. It led to problems with the vaccination pass and passports not matching. I had difficulty as I only have a shortened version of my birth certificate and that was not acceptable. The joys of bureaucracy.

With access to all your links and the advice you have pointed Oopsadaisy towards, I fail to understand why you have been unable to answer your questions from your own research.
There is curiosity and there is inquisitiveness , one can generally satisfy the former from Google.

I kept my last name and never planned to change it.
I don't belong to anybody, why shall I change it?

I never had issues anywhere and my kids have my husband's last name, per my choice.
He asked me if I wanted them to have my last name and I declined

Because my kids are biracial and they look a lot like their father (luckily!), I carry the birth certificate when we travel.

So no, nobody questioned me why I didn't change it.

A dh's colleague asked my dh if he wasn't offended I didn't take his last name - my dh's reply " why shall I be? I choose not to change mine to match hers"
That colleague was irate and angry at me doe disrespecting my dh

Some countries' laws do not let women change the last name when they marry a never a problem in matching kids to the parents

Oopsadaisy1

MzOops changed her name a couple of years ago, used her Christian name then added other names and a totally new surname.

She has kept all of the paperwork, from Birth Certificate, marriage certificate, divorce decree and change of name details. All legal documents but I doubt that the Pensions Dept. will have any of it on record.

Heaven knows what will happen when she tries to get her pension!

I have found the following.

LINK > www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll

LINK > www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/enrol-a-deed-poll-with-the-courts

ixion

Or maybe a short story writer?

Quote StarDreamer Sun 17-Jul-22 19:47:58
I am planning to publish a small book of my own writing myself

The planned small book is not a short story. It is just something that I am writing that is quite possibly not of any interest to many (if any) other people, but I can typeset it on my computer to produce a PDF document and pay a fee of well under £100 to have a few copies printed and bound into a small book. So, just like some people choose to pay money to go on holiday, or choose to buy some bottles of wine, or choose to buy an artwork, whether an original painting, a limited edition print or an unlimited edition print and so on, I plan to choose to pay some money to be able to have a printed book of some of my writing.

Heaven knows what will happen when she tries to get her pension

She won’t have any problems if it is, as said, all based on her NI number.

MzOops changed her name a couple of years ago, used her Christian name then added other names and a totally new surname.

She has kept all of the paperwork, from Birth Certificate, marriage certificate, divorce decree and change of name details. All legal documents but I doubt that the Pensions Dept. will have any of it on record.

Heaven knows what will happen when she tries to get her pension!

DD reverted to her 'maiden' (horrid word) after she divorced, her two eldest children have her exhusband's name and her now husband and youngest child have a different name. Everyone copes.

RedRidingHood

Are you a journalist?
"Please discuss??"

I am not a journalist.

Or maybe a short story writer?

Quote StarDreamer Sun 17-Jul-22 19:47:58
I am planning to publish a small book of my own writing myself