Germanshepherdsmum
The OP has not said she was a stay at home mum (or had any other caring responsibilities) Cabbie, nor that she paid the ‘married women’s stamp’, just that she has chosen to take low paying jobs despite a decent education and has for the last 13 years been working under a zero hours contract paying wages below the NI threshold because she likes her colleagues, which she wants to continue. This is not comparable to your position.
I fail to see how the OP's situation differs from that of anyone else who does not pay tax and NI in their own right, but relies on a husband or partner to do so and sees it as covering both of them. One has chosen not to work at all, and the other to work in a low-paying job. Neither has paid NI.
Obviously someone who has a well-paid partner will have a more comfortable life financially, but unless the law changes so that one part of a couple can pay tax and NI on behalf of the other (ie twice as much as they already pay) the non-working partner is making no individual financial contribution to society. We all look after our children and homes, however little or much we earn, and regardless of whether we also go out to work, so saying that doing so compensates for paying tax just doesn't wash, and the option for a working spouse to pay double tax is not available, and is unlikely to become so, as far as I can see.
I don't understand how when I say that it is 'nasty', when you are now saying the same thing yourself. Bear in mind that I also said that IMO it is not 'wrong' for anyone to take advantage of the current system, just that I thought it ironic that anyone doing so could be judgemental about the financial circumstances of others in the context of the thread on which I commented.