Brother living in inherited house, banning sibling from visiting, probate

I'd follow the advice of GSM and Cabbie. Experts.

Your brother has never ‘shifted for himself’ and has no inclination to do so now. This property is two thirds not his! If you let this drift on, everyone is getting older, the property is getting older and in time, the next generation will have to sort out the mess. How will they tackle it - an old, perhaps infirm, stubborn, angry man who needs care? They won’t thank you!

Gudrun, I think that in your grief, and anxiety to 'do the right thing' , you are tying yourself up in knots! It sounds as if you are at risk of disadvantaging yourself.
I am with those who say 'do nothing until you have seen a solicitor'. You seem reluctant to do so, and if you felt able to tell the forum why (no personal details, just general outline) then someone may be able to advise you.
Please look after yourself

Cabbie knows about these things. I would always rely on her advice regarding benefits issues,

I agree with what GSM said.
As far as benefits and housing are concerned, turning down an inheritance would be seen as deliberate deprivation of assets, and you would be treated as if you still had those assets, ie not entitled. If you started a claim then had to pay it back, you would be in a worse mess at that point.
Let a solicitor get this solved, then you can move on with your life.

Please don’t take any action based on what you may receive at some unknown point in the future, such as taking yourself off the waiting list. Or worry about something that may never happen. You have a right to receive money when this is all sorted out. That’s all. In law this right is called a chose in action. Don’t transfer that right to a third party in order to try to rid yourself of this problem, or just walk away - it would be classed as deliberately divesting yourself of assets and it isn’t what your Dad would have wanted, is it? It really wouldn’t make the problem go away, it would only complicate matters further and you already know it would be dishonest if you take either course and are then given a house or benefits. If you and your sister see a solicitor about this you can transfer this burden onto their shoulders. That’s what they’re there for. Please take that step. It will stop the worrying and whatifery. The sooner you do this the better. Your brother will receive a substantial inheritance and, without meaning to be cruel, as long as you treat him as the incapable baby of the family the longer he will be happy for you to do so. Don’t let him steal your inheritance. Your Dad left it to you.

Please Gudrun do as Germanshepherdsmum suggests and see a solicitor. This is the way forward for all of you. I believe the hand written note has no validity, especially if it was not witnessed and signed by a witness, but I’m not a solicitor and Germanshepherdsmum is a solicitor. She also said it’s not binding I believe.

Please don’t take yourself off the housing list. You haven’t got any money yet and so your circumstances have not changed.

aggie

Don’t do anything rash ! You can’t gift your inheritance until you get it , and it could be substantially less ( or more ) than you expect
Can you make a new Will leaving your share to the cats home , or Grandchildren ? That would mean it will not disappear into the state coffers
I can understand you wanting to get it all out of your head and mourn your Dear Dad

Thank you, yes, I have made a completely new will, and my brother gets 1%....much less than animal rescue / homeless charities that I´m leaving to!
My partner , children and friends basically get everything.

Don’t do anything rash ! You can’t gift your inheritance until you get it , and it could be substantially less ( or more ) than you expect
Can you make a new Will leaving your share to the cats home , or Grandchildren ? That would mean it will not disappear into the state coffers
I can understand you wanting to get it all out of your head and mourn your Dear Dad

Cs783

My brother pulled a similar stunt. The solicitor sorted it - it took time, a lot of grief, and a reasonable legal fee, plus a small sweetener to my brother but it was the only way to meet what we knew to be my mum’s last (and long held) wishes. Best wishes.

Thanks for the message....

sorry, wanted to answer a few people who suggested charging him rent, but couldn´t find the thread. But thanky you too!

I wouldn´t dream of asking him to pay rent, to be honest. For me , it´s either take the little note as gospel, or follow the will to the letter, no inbetween.
If it becomes known or clear that our brother is indeed vulnerable/ has mental health problems, or such like, something that we can understand why Dad would give him ´special treatment´ so to say, then I will just walk away, no awkwardness, no sulking, and try to be at peace knowing that we´re honouring what Dad apparently wrote regarding his wishes....( why he didn´t define things more clearly is another matter)
No rent, no looking after Dad´s former home( brother already calls it his) ...no helping with up-keep, bills, repairs. What happens to it is his business and at his expense.

I guess if he´s managed thus far without benefits, just íncome´ from legacies, then he can probably continue to do so until his death!

I probably won´t even wait until such clarity regarding my brother´s health or condition to swerve in this direction....I´m 52, healthy, obviously not old....but I don´t need this extra stress in my life! I work full time and have a family. I took myself out of the family( so called!) whats app group as I found the constant stress, and talk of legal cases, probate, abrupt answers, or mainly no answers...it was for me tainting the memory of my Dad, heavily disrupting my grieving process, and turning me into someone I didn´t like.

The other option is obviously if my siblings work something out amicably.

My other problem is, and I guess this more a legal question....didn´t consider it until the same thing happened to my best girlfriend...
What happens if I lose my job? I have only ever claimed benefits for less than 1 month in my life I think, & that was due to moving to Leeds to look after my Grandad...
If I have on paper only, a substantial inheritance, this would mean I can´t claim right? Obviously I would be looking for another job straightaway, but we all know how real life is... (except my brother, of course...! Joke, kinda...)

And more likely....I am on a housing list, waiting forever for a housing association flat, hopefully, maybe...
I guess I should take myself off the waiting list as I am obviously now not classed as low-income, even though I will probably never see this inheritance, I´ve resigned myself to the fact now...it´s kinda fine.
This happened to my friend, she eventually got offered a 2 bedroomed , as she has 2 kids, and was refused as her partner had inherited his parent´s renovation project/ house....even though they don´t live together!

So, my thought was to ´gift´ my third of Dad´s house to a friend....would that work? Would that be honest? Otherwise, I´m losing with all hands on this game!!!I´ve been on a waiting list for years now...
I mean is that fair though?
Thank you!!! xxx

I think we know it’s free, but horses for courses - I’m sure your advice was helpful but in this case the advice would be the same as I, as a retired solicitor, have already given. See a specialist solicitor. I’m not a specialist in this field but I was in partnership with some who are.

Omitted to mention RAC solicitors advice was free and we spoke for nearly an hour. Extremely helpful for my dilemma too.

That was to Driventodrink. Thanks Nannarose.

I’m sure we all know that insurers also provide general legal advice and that the CAB have their place but this is a complex matter which needs expert advice from a specialist.

My brother pulled a similar stunt. The solicitor sorted it - it took time, a lot of grief, and a reasonable legal fee, plus a small sweetener to my brother but it was the only way to meet what we knew to be my mum’s last (and long held) wishes. Best wishes.

I think it needs to be clear that there is a difference between asking CAB (who are enormously helpful with things in their remit) and seeking proper legal advice through some sort of 'legal cover' that you may have.

A lot of us, through organisations such as trades unions, professional bodies, car / home insurance and organisations like the RAC, have, as part of the service they offer members, 'free legal advice up to a certain amount'. These are proper law firms.

It can be very helpful to contact them. They can give initial advice and point you in the right direction. Exactly what they offer will be detailed in the 'small print'.

So it is always worthwhile looking at any organisations you belong to, and what insurance policies you have, to see if this is part of the service.

I have it through 3 organisations! My trades union (I am a retired member) and both my home and car insurance. These are for any legal matters.

And, as always, thanks GSM

Cabbie 21. The RAC solicitor does not deal with just motoring matters, they cover ALL legal subjects. Do not dismiss them till you tried. I also had very good advice from a retired solicitor one time who did voluntary work for CAB. So if you've never contacted them you won't know!

Thank you Daisy.

Gudrun The most important thing you can do is make absolutely sure that any solicitor you appoint is a specialist in dealing with wills and probate and in particular understands cases like these. Before you appoint them talk the case through and ask them their opinion of the case, I am not seeing this as free advice, but being able to be sure that the person involved understands the problem and also the need to wield an iron fist in a velvet glove, so that every effort is made to sustain such relationship as remains with your brother.

You really do need to make sure any solicitor you appoint is a specialist in this field of law.

So good to read knowledgeable logic from you once again GSM.

This really isn't a subject for opinion.

Driventodrink

Once again another nasty thread weaving through a request for help. Positive advice is always welcome. I had a nasty remark on my messages removed. Gransnet obviously agreed with me. You wouldn't think this behaviour would happen on a forum for elderly women.

Just take it to the solicitor you dealt with or Citizens Advice, if you can get through. There is help out there if you look hard enough. Sounds daft but are you with the RAC because they offer a free phone conversation for any legal advice if you are a member. Never knew that till recently. 😊

Whilst Citizens Advice is an excellent organisation, this sort of enquiry is way beyond its remit. CA would just point you to a list of local solicitors, from which you should select one which has specialists in wills and probate. The RAC, as a motoring organisation, is unlikely to have such specialists.
Meanwhile, GSM has given excellent pointers.

Regarding the “loan note” I think the solicitor might be prolonging this to earn more money.

A very similar thing happened in my family which I won’t go into detail on here but I provided the Police with a handwritten note outlining two fairly large cash amounts with dates and name of person receiving them and was straight away told it was useless because it was unsigned. I had plenty of other written material and the handwriting was identical and distinctive but they weren’t interested.

That’s the thing these days, you have to specialise to survive. The days of the family solicitor who dealt with everything are long gone, unless he’s courting a negligence action!

My DS is a lawyer but useless asking him advice out of his specialism, so never much use to me!

Thanks, that’s very kind of you. I will always help with a legal problem if I can. Some things I know absolutely nothing about of course, such as family law. Yes, there are usually a few barrack room lawyers ready to pitch in!