Probate/ letters of administration ( no will)

At the very least, you need a solicitor. Please do not pay towards the day to day costs of your brother living in that house. Tell the utilities, the bank and council that your Mum is dead, they will want sight of the Death Certificate. Then all responsibility for the running of the house and regular bills will be his not yours. He also needs to seek financial advice if he can't afford to maintain the house.

Gransnetters across the land plotting how they can come to you and walk alongside you into the house to have serious words with your brother. Can you take your husband or a friend with you? If not, someone from Age Concern or similar may be able to volunteer. He has been bullying you for years and hiding things from you, relying on your mother to keep him.

If he is evicted so the house can be sold, he will be homeless - the same as 100s of thousands of people (except eventually he will have the cash from the house sale). Let him taste reality, consider the possibility of that and get ready to have an adult conversation.

So sorry for your loss and this situation which does not sound very good to me.

Register the death, and get a solicitor NOW and let him or her sort out the whole legal situation.

This is potentially the sort of thing that ruins relationships between siblings, so let a professional deal with it and tell you both precisely where you stand.

I too feel fairly certain that nothing whatsoever of your mother's belongings should be disposed of until her estate is wound up and everything has been divided between you and your brother.

If you end up owning half of the house, he cannot keep you out of it, as far as I know, but this is the sort of thing that makes us all say Get a solicitor immediately!

And write your own will too, so your heirs don't end up in this pickle!

You need professional advice as soon as possible. I'm sure some of those on here know what they're talking about but a lot of it is pure conjecture and you're tying yourself in knots second guessing everything. You need to know exactly where you stand and take the guesswork out of the equation.

Why do you have to ask your brother if you can buy flowers?! Do not let him dominate you! He does not seem as useless as you and your mother portray/ed him.
Where is your husband in all this?

I’ve just read back a bit, ignore my advice about doing things with your brother jointly, see a solicitor ASAP you have no obligation to pay anything at the house as your brother is living there, he might not even registered himself as living there in which case he will be liable for all the council tax he should have paid. Call up all the utilities asap and explain your Mum has passed away and tell them your brother remains in the house. Unless you actually know his actual income you have no idea what he has as income and very soon legally he’ll no longer be liable for child support, unless he has other children

M0nica

honeydo It is clear that all your life you have come second to your brother in your mother's regard and because this preference has been a given all your life you have yourself bought into it and accepted that in everything you must sacrifice everything that is dear to you to look after your brother. Unfortunately your brother has traded off his position as mother's darling and is trying to continue this after your mothers death by bullying you into doing everything he wants, as you always did when your mother was alive.

Your mother has now died, which is a cause of deep grief to you. But you need now to step back and try and look at the current situation objectively.

Your mother chose not to make a will. It was clearly her conscious decision. You mention that she didn't make one because she knew that under the intestacy laws her estate would be shared equally between her two children. In other words she wanted you to have half her assets - and these include the house.

As I have said in previous posts. Dealing with an intestacy is complicated and the dangers of misfilling in forms or doing things that are not legal is high, when, as with you, you have no knowledge at all of how to set about doing these things.

If you get anything wrong, you could end up in court and having to pay fines or reparations. You are going to have to use a solicitor to deal with the legal side of sorting out the intestacy. You need to get the solicitor to deal with the division of the estate as well.

You say that if you involve a solicitor, your brother may change the locks and you have personal possessions in the house. the solution to that is simple, go round to the house as soon as you can to remove all your belongings - and then go to the solicitor.

Once everything is in the hands of the solicitor, step back and let hm do all the communicating with your brother on legal matters. I suspect that what will happen is that your brother will try to bluster and bully you, but he will comply with the solicitor's nstructions and vacate the house when it is sold because there are legal sanctions a solicitor can use if he does not comply.

honeydo The fact that you have come on GN and described your problem means that you know in your heart of hearts that what your brother is trying to force upon you after your mother's death is wrong, but you have never opposed your late mother or brother in your life before and the thought of doing it now is frightening and you need moral support from others to tell you that putting everything in the hands of the solicitor and insisting the house is sold is the right thing to do.

Well it is.

I am sorry this post is so long, but there was a lot that needed to be said.

m0nica, You have hit the nail on the head. I couldn't have put it better myself.

Also my DM died last year, I couldn’t register the death as she died at home and it had to be referred to the Coro or, also if you’re in England you call call the registry office for advice too.

This sad situation shows why, every time, a will should be made and executors appointed ! Your brother could possibly get a mortgage or personal loan to buy you out if needs be, but please speak with him and if possible see a solicitor together. If you cannot reach an amicable agreement you’ll have to go to court which will not only cost you both a fortune, but could drag on for years. Only winners here will be the solicitors

Also we had 3 estate agents go round the house. Ask them to give you a valuation for probate as this is often lower than just asking for a valuation.

I’m with the rest of you, please consult a solicitor Asap Some give a free 30 minutes advice and please be open with your brother all the way. Good luck xx

My mum died in March aged 97 and my sister and I did the admin. To give you an idea of costs, our solicitors fee was £1067 to get the probate and sort out the tax forms. The money came out of the cash mum had in her bank account. You need to have her account frozen so no one can take money out until probate is granted. The bank will ask to see a copy of the probate.The probate did not arrive until July. There was no inheritance tax to pay. You are supposed to register the death in 5 days but this is not set in stone. My mums doctor was on holiday and we had to wait 9 days to get the death certificate. Your brother needs to take responsibility for himself, do not allow yourself to be told what to do. If you want to send flowers then send them. What can he do about that? Do not let him dictate what is going to happen, let a solicitor sort it out for you.

Are you in Scotland or England ??

We had a similar problem when I inherited a house from my grandmother. We instructed a solicitor to begin eviction proceedings and were successful. The eviction order was necessary for the person living there to be rehoused by the council. They were given a nice ground floor sheltered flat that they were happy with.
See a solicitor as soon as possible don't try to sort it yourself.

I 'think' you can claim your Dad's IHT as well so £325,000 each for Mum & Dad = £650,000 - I was able to (with advice from a solicitor)

From experience, sadly, see a solicitor. As the eldest you don't have to deal with it, but as it stands would you trust your brother? There are also people who will administer the estate on your behalf,. Obviously all have a cost which may seem high, but far better than a £70-90,000 Court case.

Your brother is probably worried and a bit scared too. Like you he just lost his Mum, and could lose his home. Before the funeral, concentrate on your loss and relationship with him; then perhaps you will both be in a place to calmly discuss it x Good Luck

honeydo You said: both my brother and I thought there was more money. I thought she had as much money in the bank as the house was worth ( or close). That way, I would have had the money and my brother the house. All settled. That was what I expected. But it isn't there anymore.

I had not realised, as things are now coming out of the woodwork, that she bought my brother a new car ( I mean new) about a year or so ago and that’s taken a fair chunk. She bought herself a car before that and gave my brother a loan of some kind I am gleaning too ( nothing in writing). He never paid her any rent. I do know. Then there was the house extension for him to have a bed and sitting room area at one end of the house That certainly must have cost. It was to add value to the house I thought.

This changes things substantially.

A lot of money is unaccounted for. It will be necessary to go through your mother’s bank statements to find out what has happened and to identify, for IHT purposes, gifts made within the last seven years of her life. That will include the car bought for your brother. The money loaned to your brother also forms part of the estate because your mother was entitled to repayment of it, albeit on unknown terms. This means involving a solicitor is vital so that the true value of the estate, including gifts notionally added back into it either in full or in part through taper relief, can be ascertained in order to calculate IHT.

If this isn’t done, then when you apply for LoA, you will make a false declaration as to the size of your mother's estate and potentially be guilty of tax evasion.

If there is IHT liability after add backs, without resource to other funds, the house would have to be sold to pay the tax.

honeydo It has occurred to me that the reason your mother did not make a will was because she knew that if she did your brother would put pressure on her to make the will in his faavour giving him the house or saying he had the right to live in it.

She knew, because she said so, that if she died intestate her estate would be shared equally between her two children and she was thus drliberately trying to do in death what she did not do in life and that is treat her chldren equally.

In those circumstances you would be going against your mother's clearly expressed intentions if you did not insist the estate was liquidated and the proceeds shared equally between you - and that will mean selling the house and your brother, with his substantially half share of his mother's estate having to sort his own housing out.

It also occurs to me that when your brother was living at home he might have had a financially coercive relationship with your mother and that the reason she had an extension built, bought him a car and did not ask him to contribute to his keep, was because he asked her to do so, possible talked at her until she finally gave in and, as I suggest above, the reason she refused to make a will was because she knew he would put pressure on her to leave most of the estate to him and not making one made sure you got your fair share.

Under the law you ar e entitled to fifty percent of your Mums estate. Estate included everything, property, goods money.

It is your brother who should be worrying as to how he is going to to let hyou have your fifty percent, not you.

Go to a solicitor, and they will get it sorted. If you brother changes the lock, then the solicitor can tell him he has to change them back and give you full access.

You seem to be in victims mode!!! WHy? You have been given a great deal of ecellent advice on this thread, be good if you started to follow it.

why are you kow-towing to your brother ?
why are you not sending wreaths to your mother's funeral if that is what you want to do ?
why were you doing shopping and cleaning a house that your brother lived in ?
continuing in this dysfunctional dynamic is not good.
no wonder your husband is annoyed.
don't blight his life too by your subservience to your brother.

Please take Monica's advice, you would be playing into your brothers hands if you do not, and you will lose out.
I know you are grieving but you you must look after yourself including the financial affairs. Please stop letting your brother dictate.
You have recieved good advice on this forum. In your position I would take it, but of course it is up to you.

honeydo It is clear that all your life you have come second to your brother in your mother's regard and because this preference has been a given all your life you have yourself bought into it and accepted that in everything you must sacrifice everything that is dear to you to look after your brother. Unfortunately your brother has traded off his position as mother's darling and is trying to continue this after your mothers death by bullying you into doing everything he wants, as you always did when your mother was alive.

Your mother has now died, which is a cause of deep grief to you. But you need now to step back and try and look at the current situation objectively.

Your mother chose not to make a will. It was clearly her conscious decision. You mention that she didn't make one because she knew that under the intestacy laws her estate would be shared equally between her two children. In other words she wanted you to have half her assets - and these include the house.

As I have said in previous posts. Dealing with an intestacy is complicated and the dangers of misfilling in forms or doing things that are not legal is high, when, as with you, you have no knowledge at all of how to set about doing these things.

If you get anything wrong, you could end up in court and having to pay fines or reparations. You are going to have to use a solicitor to deal with the legal side of sorting out the intestacy. You need to get the solicitor to deal with the division of the estate as well.

You say that if you involve a solicitor, your brother may change the locks and you have personal possessions in the house. the solution to that is simple, go round to the house as soon as you can to remove all your belongings - and then go to the solicitor.

Once everything is in the hands of the solicitor, step back and let hm do all the communicating with your brother on legal matters. I suspect that what will happen is that your brother will try to bluster and bully you, but he will comply with the solicitor's nstructions and vacate the house when it is sold because there are legal sanctions a solicitor can use if he does not comply.

honeydo The fact that you have come on GN and described your problem means that you know in your heart of hearts that what your brother is trying to force upon you after your mother's death is wrong, but you have never opposed your late mother or brother in your life before and the thought of doing it now is frightening and you need moral support from others to tell you that putting everything in the hands of the solicitor and insisting the house is sold is the right thing to do.

Well it is.

I am sorry this post is so long, but there was a lot that needed to be said.

Each person is entitled to leave £375,000 tax relief but if leaving everything directly to children and grand children another £175,000 is added to this. Also your father had the same tax free benefit to leave. So if this wasn’t used upon his death this would also be added.
In your case therefore I would get a valuation of the bungalow from two agents.. contact Age Concern or Citizens Advice and then sit down for a serious conversation with your brother. Explain that involving solicitors will cost thousands that you don’t need to pay. Also that if he stays in the bungalow he is depriving you if your inheritance and no way will you be contributing to the upkeep of the property. The best solution and the legal one would be to sell up and split the money. This should give him enough to buy a small flat which he could more easily maintain. If he refuses make it clear the situation will have to be resolved by a solicitor and this will be costly for him and yourself.

Please get a solicitor involved. Your brother is being unfair and your grief is stopping you thinking clearly. Your Mum is unlikely to have meant you to receive nothing. She was simply confused about the benefits of making a will. You are entitled to half and that’s what you should get.

I’m very concerned reading this that grief is causing you not to see things properly. You are not your feckless brother’s keeper. You will get 50% so see a solicitor asap and stop putting worries in place and just do it. Sorry to be blunt but you need rough love right now. It’s in your brother’s interests that you feel this way but not yours. Please don’t look back at this and regret not getting professional advice, it really is in both of your interests. I feel for you, your grief is very strong right now, so huge hugs from me xxx