I think the fairest thing to do is to leave it to your adult children. And they can decide what/ if they give anything to the grandchildren.
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Legal, pensions and money
What would you do? Do you think this is fair.
(132 Posts)Hi all. I have 3 adult daughters and 5 granddaughters. My oldest daughter has 1, as does my middle daughter, my youngest has 3.
I am sorting currently out my will and am arranging for all of them to receive exactly the same amount of money.
However, my middle daughter has spoken to me and said that split is unfair on her, my oldest daughter and their girls as they won’t technically receive the same amount and my young est will be x amount better off as she has 3 children and not just the one.
I think she’s being ridiculous but she is adamant that I should change it to splitting the amount equally 3 ways instead.
What would you do?
3 way split. If a daughter dies before you do her third to be divided between whatever children she had. This is pretty standard in wills. I have not heard of grandchildren being taken into account. They are the business of their parents, not their grandparents. As for anyone being adamant about what someone else puts in their will.....!!!###**☆☆
I would leave a sum of your choosing to each grandchild (I know all mine would appreciate however much they were left) including any born subsequent to the will and split the rest between the children.
*so they are aware of our wishes.
There is an argument for leaving equal sums to each of your daughter's and a much smaller amount as a token of love to each grandchild - it's up to your daughter's in each case to pass on more. If you sadly passed and then one daughter has another child it could be deeply unfair that they have missed out on a substantial sum but a small amount would enable the daughter to put that right to some extent.
Funnily enough we’ve only completed our wills. We have 3 AC - 2 of which have 2 children each. Once we’ve both died, our estate is divided into 4 pots - a pot each for the ACs and the last pot split between all GC equally. As we’ve not named the GC then it allows for any future grandchildren to be provided for that are alive at the time of our death. We’ve discussed this with our three AC also they are aware.
yes I'd make legacies to the grandchildren...and then divide the estate equally between three daughters.
My late DH before Alzheimer’s took hold, wanted any wills to favour my DS who has health problems and DD had already been helped financially.
When it came to my own will I am splitting it equally between the two. DS had one child.
I think it’s wise to disregard our DCs’ circumstances or suggestions if any (shameful) and keep it simple.
The point is that nobody can see into the future, so you can't plan for it.
People are born, they die, thay fall out, they make up, they have complicated life situations.
It's pointless to try and cover all eventualities.
I have a son and a daughter. Son has one child and daughter has none and is now in her fifties and never wanted children. In our will we stated 15% to be left to any grandchildren and the remainder divided equally between my son and daughter. My daughter and her partner have been incandescent with rage over this and have virtually cut us off. My son and daughter in law have always been supportive, loving and considerate whereas my daughter and her partner have been distant, tried to be controlling and have always taken offence where none was intended. Many friends have told me that I should cut my daughter out of my Will but I won't do that as in spite of her behaviour towards us, she's still my daughter and I love her even if I don't like her very much.
I have 2 children and 6 grandchildren. 4 are my son's and the other 2 my daughter's. All the grandchildren will receive the same gift of money and the rest will be split equally between my children. It's your will and your money to do as you like with. I wouldn't let either of my children tell me what to do to be honest. I've done what I think is right.
Yes that's what happens in our family. My will is divided equally between my daughters. My eldest has no family and my youngest 1 and a stepson, who I adore and call my grandson. My youngest knows she has to see both of them are ok.
It's difficult because you don't know if your 2 DD's with 1 DC each might have another DC later. You could specify a token amount £1k for each DGC and the rest to be split equally between your 3 DC however if any of your DC should pass away before you then their share to pass to their DC to be split equally. My will is complicated because I've given younger DC £55 deposit so he could add to his savings to buy a 2 bedroom terraced house. He doesn't earn a big wage and he doesn't have a partner so it was the only way he could buy a house. I gave older 2 DC £7k towards their deposits but they both earn more and have a partner. I've told younger son he will get £50k less in my will which he is happy with. My older 2 DC were also happy for me to help youngest. I've got 2 DGC and I'm leaving them a house between them with their Mum having lifetime enjoyment/income. That way it protects the inheritance for my DGS's. I've got several btl houses which will be split up between husband and DC. Ultimately my DC will get more inheritance when the last of either DH or I die as will inherit family home and holiday home if there is any left after care home fees. Also have shares in Ltd company to be split so DH has 51 percent but DC share the rest. I want the holiday home to be used by my sister's and nieces and nephews too and if it's let out for 4 weeks a year it will more than cover it's own running costs. I might have to put it in a trust.
As an afterthought you could point out that perhaps the family with more kids could need the money more than the parents ones who have an only child! Because obviously they would have to pay for more children to get through university or whatever. It’s just another side of the argument! Families can be so exasperating!!!
Definitely just split an equal percentage to each daughter. They can then split what they want with their offspring's
I have a child without children and one child with children. My will is to my children and grandchildren will be dealt with by their parents. I feel this is fair.
I just split my assets in 3 -a portion for each son . The one without children probably will leave it to nephews and neice and the others to their own kids . If a child predecesses me ( which sincerely hope will not happen) their part goes to their own kids . That would solve the problem . Typical in a family for one to complain . You’re not going for a long time anyway hopefully !
My thoughts too greenlady.
I'd say to your middle daughter that its MY will and MY money. She will get what she is given and if she doesn't like it that's tough.
Firstly it is completely your choice who you leave your money to but I realise you really don’t need family stress as you get older. Technically you are leaving it to the children and not the parents so as they grow older they may want money for a car or University and so I believe it should be left equally to each grandchild. I am the same as most others that have posted and have left mine to my estate equally between my children knowing it will likely trickle down to grandchildren eventually. I already have a great grandchild so I believe it would become too complicated if I tried any other way. Lots of things can change in the future so I believe it’s the fairest way.
You do what you would like to do! You may not even want to discuss it with them. Your choice to give to each gc individually seems great to me!
I have 4 children and 9 grandchildren, I wanted my grandchildren to know they were in my thoughts, and have left them £1000.00 each. The remainder will be split equally between my 4 kids. It’s getting a wee bit complicated now as great grandchildren are starting to arrive, but so far haven’t gotten into that but wills can always be updated at any point. However I’m stubborn and if anyone of them started telling me what to do with my money they would probably find themselves taken out my will completely
The love of money is the root of all evil. Give each of your granddaughters the same specific amount, what's wrong with that? Your daughter is being totally unreasonable and selfish.
My mother wanted to give to her grandchildren but my sister is childless….so my family would receive more….the solicitor suggested a 50/50 split and we agreed that was fair. It was up to me to give my children something…..my sister will leave anything she has to them anyway.
It wouldn't have occurred to me to ask my mother and step father about their wills, nor would it have occurred to me to disclose the content of our wills to our sons.
Eugh. My parents asked us (myself and three younger siblings ) years ago to decide what we wanted from a list of things. I was in NO position to make a decision ( as I had neither the room in a house or the headspace to make such decisions for their stuff!) so said "I'd rather have you and if you're going to leave me something then I'll have this "thing" which was my grandma's. I don't regret my decision and was made fun of by my siblings. I haven't made a will as yet but I have no idea as yet what I'm leaving to whom. Might even just put it in a big pile and tell folk to do what they want with it as most of possessions are "things". Lucky for my kids whatever happens, due to family circumstances, they will never go short.
Split it three ways and dish it out accordingly. That's what I'd do. Your decision to make and only yours.
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