What would you do? Do you think this is fair.

I believe any inheritance goes to next generation. Which means if they don’t need it they can pass it on to their children. Maybe leave a piece of jewellery to grandchildren.

To those of you who say that an adult child has no right to query how their parents will leave their money - it would not have occured to me to raise the matter with them. It was my parents who "announced" that they had made their will. Of course my sister was delighted that two thirds was going to her side of the family. Whereas I was made to feel like the ugly sister.

It was with a clear conscience that I later gradually stepped back from so called family life and eventually moved to another city. I was only minimally involved when both parents died and left the arrangements to my sister.

If you treat your offspring unequally then you reap what you have sown.

Your children made their own decisions about how many children they had. It is nothing to do with you.

You do not have any control over how your daughter's choose to spend their money once they get it, so it is possible that either of your daughters, when they receive their inheritance, will fritter it all on expensive clothes and expensive cruises so that their children will not benefit from it at all.

You leave your money equally to your own children, you have no reason to be remotely concerned with what happens further down the family line.

I agree with the posters who say that the fairest thing would be to divide the estate equally between your three daughters. Each daughter can then make their individual choice as to what they leave to their children. Leaving more of the estate to one daughter because they happen to have produced more children is rewarding them for their prowess as a breeder.

My own parents disadvantaged me because I was childfree. In my 20s when my sister had 2 young children they made a will divided into thirds. One third each to my sister and I and the remaining third to be divided between the grandchildren.

Their argument was that their grandchildren gave them a lot of pleasure so they were "rewarding" my sister by giving birth to them. When I pointed out that 2 thirds of the estate was going to my sister's side of the family my parents response was that if I had children (in the future) then they also would benefit. It was, in effect, my decision to discriminate against myself. My sister had always been the "golden princess" when we were younger and this merely confirmed the fact that she was worth more in their eyes.

Needless to say this led to a lot of animosity and was part of the reason why I stepped back from my family and went low contact when I left my home city.

Discriminating between children can lead to a lot of anger and bitterness. Not only between the children and parents but also between the siblings.

My grandmother, with whom I had a very special relationship, deliberately left me more in her will "to compensate".

Germanshepherdsmum

Presumably your daughters might still have more children. Personally I would split the estate equally between the three daughters and leave them to pass on whatever they wish to their children - if anything. That is fair.

That’s precisely the advice our solicitor gave us when we made our wills and we followed it.

I really don’t understand why any adult child would expect a different share of the inheritance just because they chose to more or fewer children than their siblings.

Had we not followed the solicitor’s advice and left money to both children and grandchildren we would have had to frequently revise the Will as more grand children kept coming along. And then great grand children.

We haven’t discussed the terms of our Will with any of our children because really it’s none of their business as it does and should reflect our wishes rather than theirs. But I hope they trust us to be fair.

My sister in law and husband made the mistake of agreeing the terms of their will with their only child and in doing so caused themselves needless stress and hassle right up until the point of death.

Advice from our solicitor has always been to split any legacy equally between AC regardless of any variations in their financial or family circumstances.
My Mum has made it clear that she expects us to 'look after' her Gchn and GGchn but neither they nor SIL or DIL are named in her will.

Your money, your choice...me I'd do one of three things...1) split three ways between your daughters...2) leave the grandchildren a small legacy each then the rest equally between your daughters....3)split your whole estate equally between your daughters and grandchildren. I have a sister, step sister and step brother, my father and stepmother have left everything equally between the four of us, all of the grandchildren have been given some money now as their grandparents felt that they'd find it useful to have setting out in life...guess that could be option four! Again, your money, your choice...

When I made my will, I split the estate half and half between my two DSs who, I know, will, when the time comes, equitably share with their children. I rightly anticipated that there might be GGCs and, sure enough, my oldest GD is the mother of the most delightful toddler. Neither of my sons has made any objection and both have told me to go ahead and spend it!

Cressida

Perhaps you could do as my mother did and leave each of your grandchildren a specific amount and the balance of your estate split equally between your daughters.

This is what we have done, one son has three children and the other son has no children. We have left the grandchildren a small sum and spoken to our son who has no children about it and he is fine with it. We were going to amend our will to leave a percentage of our estate to each of the grandchildren but our daughter-in-law has breast cancer and lymphedema and is unlikely to be able to work for the foreseeable future so we have told our other son that we are leaving it up to him what he gives his children, he is also fine with it.

Our will is an equal split between our children.

I would tell the middle daughter to keep her nose out. It's YOUR will and you'll distribute it how you like and she should be very grateful for anything she receives, no matter how big or small.

I can just imaging her sat in the solicitor's office leaning over your will after you've passed away like a pterodactyl picking the bones ...

Luckygirl3

I agree that it is not appropriate for an adult child to be telling a parent how they should distribute their assets after they die. And as for being cross about it ..... hmmm.

Yes!

I'd spend her share enjoying myself 😃

Germanshepherdsmum

Presumably your daughters might still have more children. Personally I would split the estate equally between the three daughters and leave them to pass on whatever they wish to their children - if anything. That is fair.

Yes, that is the only fair way.

If the daughters want to pass their shares on to the next generation, a will can be varied.

With Bluebelle and GSM. It's your decision.

Most of ours will be going to dds, split equally - one with 3 dcs, one with none. But smaller named amounts to the Gdcs. However we’ve also been putting money into S&S ISAs for the Gdcs, access only at 18.

I just hope they’ll have the sense not to splurge it all - I’ll be leaving letters for them in case I’m gone by then - pointing out that while they may like to treat themselves with some of it, it’s an awful lot easier to spend money than to earn and save it - and nice lump sums aren’t very likely to come their way again.

I m just leaving a three way split to my children

The important thing is to name a percentage and not a number. DHs aunt said that all the god children should get x amount with the residue to DH. In the end, the god children received more than he did as she had spent most of her money.

I agree that it is not appropriate for an adult child to be telling a parent how they should distribute their assets after they die. And as for being cross about it ..... hmmm.

I'd tell them I'm leaving them nothing in this casa and let them wait and see.! greedy or what

The only way it could work out "fairly" is to calculate an amount for each daughter,and an amount for each individual child.

There may be an odd amount left, though.

You could leave an equal sum to each of your surviving GCs and the remainder to be shared equally by your DDs. Depending upon your DDs' circumstances, they can request that their share is distributed to their own children if they so wish.

A couple of my clients have done this - they are well over the IHT threshold and when the father or one of the died they passed their inheritance directly to their daughter.

I agree with GSM and my children will get equal shares. They can dole out cash to the grandchildren if they wish. I really think children who tell their parent(s) how to write their will have a damn cheek. It is entirely your choice. Best not to discuss with family. Just do what you think best.

I wouldn't discuss your will with your daughters.. it is entirely your choice who you leave your estate to.. However my mother left an equal amount to each of her GC and the rest was split between me and my siblings and this seemed very fair. We didn't know the content of her will and wouldn't have felt we needed to know.. we loved her regardless of what she would have left us.. Your daughter needs to consider your feelings and not be so entitled

I’d tell my daughter to butt out if she started tell me what she was entitled to after I die, quite honestly. It’s yours, and you must do what feels right to you.