Will Dilemma

Trusts are full of expensive pitfalls. Avoid.
Treat them while you are alive?
Split equally between the grandchildren?
Leave it to charity?

How about a bloodline trust? I’ve been looking into this for my own Will due to DIL issues same as you.

mabon1

Leave the money to your grandchildren.

This.
Totally disregard any AC and divide the estate up between all the grandkids. DIL can hardly claim anything from your son if he has nothing.

I'd split the will just between your grandchildren

My in laws left their daughter's share of their inheritance to her children as the daughter had abandoned the family when they were young . The rest of their adult children got their share directly.

Spend it all !!!

I'd also leave it to your grandchildren in trust, all of them rather than their parents. If a trust is written up properly you can stop your difficult DIL from having access, but perhaps have your other daughter as trustee so she can distribute the money to the children when they need it.

Leave it to your grandchildren, it's the only way you can prevent your daughter in law from benefitting. Leave a letter for your son explaining your reasoning. You can leave your estate to whoever you choose.

Which ever way you decide to proceed just bear in mind that you won't know anything about what happens with any of it. I've left everything to be divided equally between all my grandchildren.

If they need it maybe put it in trust for his children - till they are 30 so they will be properly grown up?
Or - and this is mischievous - leave it to a dog's home of your son's choice.
I feel 'should' is not a word that belongs with wills. Leave it to who or what you want. Do some good with it, leave it to someone or something where it will do some good.

I would absolutely divide any assets between the two of them. It shows you care for them both equally and neither will resent the other. Whatever happens to the money after it's received is not your problem.

I have a similar situation in that my son-in-law continues to influence their very, very bad financial decisions. My daughter and her husband are both in their early 40s. I am worried that once she retires, she will be living only on government pensions. I made a provision in our will that she will not receive any inheritance until she reaches age 65 (retirement age in Canada) or divorces her husband, whichever comes first.

Leave the money to your grandchildren.

Leave the money to your son’s children. They are innocent ‘victims’ so to speak. One of them will soon be 18 and independent, the other is over 18. I’m sure your son will be pleased about that .
Good luck !

acildren is children

Perhaps ask your solicitor to leave a token to each of your adult acildren and leave the rest in 10 equal amounts to your GC and partners offspring.

I'd share it equally between him and any other siblings.
If you wish to gift any grandchildren I think you should be even-handed.

Easy to say - not my family - but I do think that's fair.

An annuity is not at all the same and rather odd I think given he's an adult.

Set it up so your son gets an annuity. Yeah, your DIL can maybe coerce him to give her the money every month, but he'll have direct control as the checks will come directly to him.

I’d be inclined to split whatever I have equally - wills can cause sch issues and siblings fighting

There’s not much you can do really, if you leave money to your son then it’s his to do what he likes with it.
Only alternative is to leave it to his children, maybe in trust if they are still young.

Unfortunately there's nothing you can do regarding your son kangaroo. You either have him as a beneficiary or you don't. What he does with any inheritance you do leave him is out of your control.

The only alternative would be to bequeath things rather than money.