Lending/gifting money to children

Surely the son-in-law wouldn't have raised this without his wife's agreement? I'm not sure it's fair to put it all on him.
Neli's daughter has already tried to introduce the topic.

That is outrageous. They need to be content with the home they have while they work for something better. Why should you incur the cost of renting or sell your home? As another poster suggested, just tell them you're on a low income and can't afford to rent or take on a mortgage, and have no wish to sell your home. Hold onto your savings too. You'll need them in future.

What a cheek your son in law has even suggesting it.

What an outrageous suggestion.
I bet you were rendered speechless that your daughter and her husband would even consider this a reasonable thing to ask of you.

Whatever you do don’t even agree to think about what they want you to do.

Honestly just when I thought I had heard everything on here about selfish entitled grown up offspring, along comes another .

Bl**dy Cheek !!!!

Dear god the cheeky bugger. Tell him to get lost.

Be a Big Fat No from me, especially since they asked.

No, but thank you for asking.

Rinse repeat.

The cheek...

It seems that some people are in a position to financially support their adult children so it has now become an expectation from an entitled generation.
So sorry you were met with this request. It must have been very upsetting. I’m not surprised you were lost for words. Now you are home you can write a firm reply, saying No.

As well as being an absolute cheek, it assumes you have money to spare. Perhaps you should turn the tables and say you are struggling and looking to them to help you out!

And yes, if you need to pay for care costs and have given away your home this is deprivation of assets and you would be treated as if you still had them ie get no help with care costs.

I love donkeys Pigma....a good option. You could put yourselves in a very difficult financial position. And lessen the enjoyable things you might want to do. A heartless comment at a vulnerable time for you.
.

Sorry, you were faced with that on top of recovering from cancer.
Sounds to me as if they’ve been getting ideas from the endless stream of AI stories about children deciding their parents will soon be incapable and that the children should take over their property and finances.
It would be a “no” from me.

Thank you so much for all your lovely support and comments, everyone!

I don’t think cheek, even bare-faced comes close! I’m sorry you’re upset and probably now trying to understand what they see you as - an open purse?
I’d think seriously about giving your daughter PoAs at some point.

Think of yourself, try to put this in its box and continue to recover.

No way would ever give up my "home" and investments and nobody else should either.

Other investments or property that are likely to attract IHT it's your choice, many do give away extra wealth but not the home.

Itsa shame they don't spend time working out their own finances instead of yours.

You really do need to firmly tell them no, so they're left in no doubt that there's no more discussions to be had.

Hearing that you're just getting over cancer makes it all the more insensitive and greedy, to say the least.

What a *** cheek!

My reply would be "what makes you think that our assets should now become your assets? And by the way, thanks for enquiring about my health!!"

Please say no and keep saying no. I assume your sil wants you to gift your house to them , which could cause issues with hmrc and SS if you need help with care when you’re older as it’s deprivation of assets .
Plus if your DP contributed to the mortgage, and is on the deeds he’d have to agree to it.
As for the other GP helping out , that’s not your concern.

Nelli123

Another aspect to this is that I've only recently recovered from breast cancer and this was the first time I saw them after completing my treatment as I was too tired to travel or have them over as a family. And this is the welcome I got!

Oh Nelli, what rubbish timing on his part! 💐

How dare he!

Tell them (him?) you are leaving everything to the Donkey Sanctuary so not to have any expectations now or in the future.
Surely your daughter should have been a party to this conversation as well or was he testing the waters?
As they say on mumsnet, no is a complete sentence.

mokryna

If they live in France, the law is that, if their parents do not have enough money for food, housing or health care they and their siblings have to pay, according to their income. The government will take it from the source.
If the subject ever comes up again, ask them if they are ready to pay for all your needs.

Tell AB. That will sort his social care problem out.

The cheek of it!
I would not be getting into more debt at your age. If they want to move they must work out how much of their own money they will have as a deposit on the next one. If that means downsizing a little or buying a do-er upper, so be it.
It sounds like they have been discussing this as your daughter keeps mentioning house moves.
I would put the kibosh on it straight away. If you don't then they will assume there is a chance. It will cause more unpleasantness if they think you will agree and then be told, no.

No wonder you were gobsmaked, I'm sorry you had such a conversation at a time when you've just recovered from breast cancer. Honestly! Outrageous cheek, bad enough from your child but their partner, grabby and grasping doesn't even begin to describe it. I'd have his card marked as to how I'd frame any inheritance.

That's very interesting mockryna

Another aspect to this is that I've only recently recovered from breast cancer and this was the first time I saw them after completing my treatment as I was too tired to travel or have them over as a family. And this is the welcome I got!

It sounds to me that they have been discussing this.