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Legal & money

Cash wedding gift

(24 Posts)
lapiqueta Thu 20-Jan-22 14:29:26

I have been putting off making this decision but the wedding is now looming. My good friend's son getting married and as they already have a home and family they have requested cash gifts towards the cost of a honeymoon. The wedding is already costing quite a lot as it involves a 2 night hotel stay and travel costs. I have no idea what would be an appropriate amount to give. Any suggestions please?

Grannynannywanny Thu 20-Jan-22 14:43:23

The last wedding I attended a few years ago I gave £100. It was my cousin’s son.

janeainsworth Thu 20-Jan-22 14:57:30

I think it depends how close you are to your friend’s son. The last wedding we went to was our nephew’s & I think we gave £100.

Curlywhirly Thu 20-Jan-22 15:03:07

Used to give £100, but recently upped it to £150. But I think it does depend on your circumstances - my husband hasn't retired yet and is still employed.

Aldom Thu 20-Jan-22 15:06:43

If you had been buying a gift, as is usual when attending a wedding, how much would you have been able to comfortably afford?
Once you have decided on an amount, send that.

annsixty Thu 20-Jan-22 15:08:30

I think the sums mentioned are extremely generous.
For the S of a friend I think £50 would be the amount I would give.

Josieann Thu 20-Jan-22 15:10:56

£150 - £200.
Personally I think it is irrelevant to be thinking how much the hotel and travel costs amount to.

annsixty Thu 20-Jan-22 15:26:25

It certainly wouldn't be irrelevant to me on a fixed retirement income .

Grannynannywanny Thu 20-Jan-22 15:30:53

Josieann
Personally I think it is irrelevant to be thinking how much the hotel and travel costs amount to.

I disagree on that point. A person’s finances may already be stretched to the limit and the travel expenditure has to be taken into account.

ElaineI Thu 20-Jan-22 15:34:14

I would give £50 for a friend's child. If it was a relative £100 or gift of similar price. Very close relative probably £150. You should give what you can afford. It's the thought that counts.

Josieann Thu 20-Jan-22 15:41:19

Grannynannywanny

Josieann
Personally I think it is irrelevant to be thinking how much the hotel and travel costs amount to.

I disagree on that point. A person’s finances may already be stretched to the limit and the travel expenditure has to be taken into account.

I understand that, but why go if it is going to push them over what they can comfortably afford to spend? When our DD got married in London we had friends from Devon say it was too expensive for them to stay 2 nights in the capital, plus train fares, plus outfits and we quite saw their reasoning.

Calendargirl Thu 20-Jan-22 15:44:26

annsixty

I think the sums mentioned are extremely generous.
For the S of a friend I think £50 would be the amount I would give.

Totally agree annsixty.

Some of the sums mentioned would put me off thinking about attending a wedding.

silverlining48 Thu 20-Jan-22 15:45:47

I think £50 is generous for son of a friend. Would factor in other fists too which can be a lot if it’s hotels travel outfit etc, If I were buying a gift would probably spend about £30 which is what I gave sil this week fir his birthday .

silverlining48 Thu 20-Jan-22 15:46:26

Other costs not fists. Typo!

silverlining48 Thu 20-Jan-22 15:56:06

Weddings cost the guests a fortune; travel, expensive gift, hotel and outfits bar costs, not forgetting the hen/stag parties, often abroad.... !??

62Granny Thu 20-Jan-22 16:41:01

I always give £300 to close relatives and usually about £100 to other people as my thinking behind this is that the meal usually costs them around £50.00 pp.

Elizabeth27 Thu 20-Jan-22 16:51:36

I would ask another of the guests if you know them. It is impossible to say not knowing your financial situation or how much you spend on other gifts.

VioletSky Thu 20-Jan-22 16:55:09

I think give what you would spend on a gift.

If I received £50 I would view that as generous

lapiqueta Thu 20-Jan-22 17:08:02

For clarity the invitation was accepted and accommodation booked before I was widowed and my late husband was in full employment and sadly I am a WASPI living now on a limited income until my state pension age. My friends are aware of my circumstances and would not be offended if I didn't gave a gift. I want to do this but needed a guideline. Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions.

Shandy57 Thu 20-Jan-22 17:28:31

Sorry you are a fellow widow and a WASPI lapiqueta. I am also waiting to be 66, not a great place to be.

I really don't like giving cash, could you be inventive with gifts they could use for their honeymoon? Find out where they are going and get a guide book, bug spray, sun cream, suitcase padlocks, flight socks, etc? Parcel it all up in a box labelled 'Honeymoon' (although that might raise an eyebrow!) and include a voucher for 'second honeymoon' by babysitting one day?

lapiqueta Thu 27-Jan-22 22:05:22

Thank you Shandy57 that sounds like a good idea

mokryna Thu 27-Jan-22 22:20:33

I understand because not only the expenses of traveling, hotel and present but also if it is like the last two English weddings I have been to there is the cost of drinks.
This was new to me, not the case at my two DDs weddings and theirs like others went on till 4 am plus.
Good idea Shandy.

Bibbity Thu 27-Jan-22 22:22:12

Please do not feel any pressure to give anything. You are wanted there and your attendance is more than enough.

Eloethan Thu 27-Jan-22 23:10:02

I think it depends on your own personal circumstances and your relationship with the couple. Don't feel obliged to give more than you can reasonably afford.