new to this kind of thing

Roseanne234,I'm on the other side of the pond but I check in often when it's the early hours being 6 hours behind. So if you up in the early hours and want to talk just post or PM me. glad your here,I'm fairly new also.

Hello Roseanne, welcome to Gransnet. Pity I don`t live near to you, it would have been nice to meet up for a chat over a cuppa. Keep your eye on the meet up thread, there may yet be a meet in your area.

Thankyou for your advice shysal I appreciate that.

I quess it was on a one to one that I was thinking of, Im not the most confident person in a group but have no problem ona one to one which is why I wondered if there was anyone else in my area who fancied a chat now and again, I will look out for people in the S.E area, sure there are other like minded people like me out there somewhere!

I dont sleep well, often up in the night at all hours but your site seems so friendly that I recon Ill have plenty of you to talk to at different times thankyou for being so welcomming.

roseanne, welcome to Gransnet. You will find plenty of virtual friends here who will provide advice, sympathy and humour.
There is a local branch for your area, which has recently been set up. Beneath the logo with women holding the GN flag at the top of the page there is a green box marked 'LOCAL'.There is very little on there so far, but I expect the list of meet-ups and things to do will gradually be added to as time goes by.
If you like walking, I find organized groups like the Ramblers very useful for meeting people. For the not quite so fit, GP surgeries have health walks where you would meet similar aged people from your surrounding area. And of course there is also the good old W.I.too! Taking the first step is the worst bit isn't it?

Specialmo. Contact your local Age UK (used to be Age Concern). They quite often run activities for older people to bring them together. I am not talking about Day Centres. One of my local branches of Age Concern runs a drop in centre with a coffee shop. Others run special activities for the over 50s, including IT classes (which you obviously do not need) exercise classes and all sorts of other things.

Oops, thought that I was on the ball but I am a year out! Well spotted shysal

Please note everybody, this thread was started in April 2012, with only 3 current posts. I didn't notice until I found an old answer I had posted.

Hi Specialmo,
I am well aware of what you are going through. I live in NW London if that is of any help to you?

Have only just seen this thread [sorry specialmo] but know what you mean about coming home to an empty house. Thankfully not in that position now, but was there when my marriage broke up at the same time as my children left home. I started smoking quite heavily at the time, finding some sort of comfort in them [have stopped now]. I didn't have a computer at the time but felt my life would have been different if I had. Even now I often leave the computer on throughout the night as I feel I am in contact with the outside world [there was an earthquake several years ago and there were people still awake was the middle of the night on one of my forums and we were able to discuss what had happened]. If you have hobbies etc there will be specialist forums to add to this one where you can chat whenever you like about your interests [I'm on film forums and racing forums]. I know it isn't the same as being with someone, but you will find support and companionship on here and I'm sure there will be a meet up in your area at some point in the future.The good thing about gransnet is that there is always someone chatting about something, whereas a lot of other forums you have to wait for a few hours [or even days] to get a reply on something you've said. So welcome and enjoy!

Hello there, I am new to this as well, the reason why ive joined up is because all my children are grown up and left home now, Im not old, 60 but it would be lovely to meet up with someone occasionally in my area of Oxford,for the occasional coffee and chat, I do drive so thats no problenm as long as its not too far.

This site seems so good so I have high hopes I will get to chat to someone soon.smile

SPECIALMO - I too miss having friends. Like me you need human contact. To live alone in an isolated spot would be agony for me. We are all different.I would give anything for a good friend to have a coffee or day out with. What a shame we live so far apart.It is so good that you are keeping positive and do not give up trying. I have just joined this site , hoping that online contact will fill the gap. I get out and about as much as possible but it would be good to have the company.
I suspect there are lots of people like us and I will keep on rooting for you!

specialmo Hello
I live too far away from you to meet up but I hope that being on Gransnet helps you in some way. On the whole we are a happy lot here , there is always someone to "listen" to any problems you may have and who knows may even be able to help sort them out, if not Im sure some of us will be able to relate to some of the things that may be on your mind.
My mum had arthritis in her spine and she had difficulty walking so I know a little of what you are going through. I have arthristis in my knee and had to give up work because of it. Its a ** isn't it .
Enjoy yourself on here its amazing the things we talk about any thing from dinner guests and what we would do if we were prime minster. We even have virtual partys

Hello, Specialmo (Janet) and welcome. Please do not think that one member is typical of all of us - there are not more than about four people who seem to want to upset others and cause trouble
Many of us have problems of all kinds and I know I am not alone in having found great sympathy and support from most Gransnetters.
My sister also has severe mobility problems and she uses a sturdy shopper too - she doesn't drive, so she has to have something that she can get easily onto the little bus that serves her estate. She has joined two groups of women that meet in her local library and she has made many friends. They have guest speakers and go on outings to the theatre, cinema, restaurants, and she has even had a weekend away on Llandudno with them.
She has four sons, two of whom live within ten minutes drive but they are too selfish to give her a day out or even pick her up from the supermarket when she does her shopping.
I am also alone, but I actually enjoy it and have chosen to live in a very isolated part of France, so my story is very different.

Please keep posting and let us know if you are able to take up any of the suggestions that have been made.
My best wishes to you.

When we moved south after living in the north all our lives until retirement, someone said to me "The world won't beat a path to your door. You have to go out and meet it halfway" So I joined my village WI and what a great thing it has proved to be! I have made so many friends and discovered new interests and had lots of fun. I recommend Specialmo tries it!

There is a WI on Canvey and they meet on the 2nd Thursday in the month from 1.45pm to 3.45pm at the WI Hall, Lionel Rd., Canvey. More information is available from 01268 693955.

It's worth a try Spedialmo! Good luck and keep your chin up!

Mishap I still have family nearby in Basildon I am told the area around the castle is being used for the olympics and being developed for that I believe it is something to do with cycling.

Sad to hear that Hadleigh has gone down the drain - it was a village when I lived there with a castle and a school and it was a lovely little place. I don't think I will visit it again - always a mistake to go back!!

I grew up in Barking and moved to Basildon when I married very small world,Yes know where Jones corner is think Gainsborough rd/ave is off Gafzelles Drive I believe that is up by the pointxx

Hi Nelliedeane, I have heard of Gainsborough Ave/ Rd but I cant place it at the moment as I usually am either driving off the Island or back on to it, I live at "Jones Corner" near to the police station and fire station, I have lived here since 1979, bought the kids up here, they are all grown up now and one lives in Barking and the other one lives in Sevenoaks in Kent, I prefer the part of the Island that I live in, the other bit of the Island is called the point but I think the end that I live is best, I will get on to Google and find out where Gainsborough Ave / Rd is, its got my mind going now so I must look it up bye for now Specialmo

Hello specialmo,I lived in Basildon for 30 years,I havent visited Canvey for the last 5 years as we moved away,my godmother lived there for many years in Gainsborough ave/rd....are u at that end of the island,maybe you knew herxx

HI Shysal, Thanks for your input, I dont like the wheeled walking aids as I dont want to look like I am disabled, and my little shopping trolley allows me to look just like other people who use them, not that I think there is anything wrong with the wheeled walkers or the people who use them, its just my personal preference, and I hope I have not upset any one who uses the wheeled walking aids, my little trolley folds down flat and goes in the boot of the car, you said in your post you did not want to be " needy or a nuisance or indeed a burden " I dont think any of us would want to be that, I have two sons who phone me to ask if I am alright and that sort of thing and occasionally we get together for a meal etc. I would like more contact but I have to respect that they have their lives to lead and I am grateful for them, we have always been a very close family and its so nice when I go to see them that I dont want it to end, it always ends up the same old thing that you have had such a wonderful time and then come home to an empty house, but like you said in your post you would dread to become needy so would I and I try not to be, anyway enuff said for now Shysal I just wanted to thank you for you kindness and suggestion, many thanks, Specialmo

Hi Mishap, many thanks for the links you gave me, I shall look into them after the hols, Hadliegh is like a ghost town, I dont know if it was like that when you lived there, it is just a place that you drive through on the way to Southend, not many shops to browse and Canvey is really more of the same, just a few main shops i.e. Boots, Superdrug , lots of charity shops and a few banks that sort of thing, I am not one for sitting indoors and knitting or that sort of thing thats what makes it so hard as although my body is 74 my brain seems to think its still 25, you know the sort of thing, " the mind is willing but the flesh is weak ", I try desperately not to feel sorry for myself as that does not help and I find myself watching lots of T.V. and that gets pretty boring and repetitive, sorry if I sound a bit lackless, but I am determined to find somewhere where they will cater for what I am looking for, there must be something out there, its just a matter of keep on looking and trying, I cant do baking or that kind of thing as my back wont support me long enough to stand, there is a tiny light at the end of the tunnel as when I get an appointment with my pain management consultant I am going to have something called " Denervation " they pass an electric current through a particular nerve in the spine and its meant to block the pathway to the brain so the brain does not get the message that it hurts you, no guarantees that it will work, but I met some one who was painfree for 3 months after having it done, I have had injections into my spine before but without much luck, it would be nice to find some one on this site that lives reasonably close, I have a car and would travel, obviously not to the other end of the country as that is not practical but I dont mind going a fair way, I thought that after my husband passed away life would be easier with my so called " freedom " as I " cared " for him through his illness which was pretty intensive, and I had a friend who I worked with and we knew each other for over 25 years then she died form cancer, I think my problem was I put all my eggs in one basket, I do have Friends mostly from my working days as I was their supervisor and we worked all over the country so obviously they live miles away from me, Southampton, Dorset, Andover, I guess I set myself up for a fall as I thought that retirement would be a doddle, it would be if only this body would do what I want it to, but its not over til its over or til the fat lady sings ( so they say ), I just dont want to waste the years I have left being sad and lonely, well I guess I must have chewed your ear off by now, but I really am grateful for your kindness and info, also the other kind words I have had from other members on this site, only one negative which upset me a bit as it inferred I was lying and not sincere, I fail to see what I would get out of posting an insincere message, still it was only 1 and I tend to think that people who think others are insincere must be that way themselves to even think that of some one they dont know, still it takes all sorts to make the world go round, so once again thankyou to you and all the other " nice " posters who welcomed me, sorry its a long post, and I hope I have not bored you, I will keep you informed about the links you gave me, lets hope I find somewhere to go and some thing to do, bye for now and my best wishes to you

Hi Mishap, thankyou for your reply, I do have to go out at the moment ( pie and mash shop ) in Basildon for my dinner tonight, plus the going out will give me something to do, I will reply a bit longer to you post tomorrow if thats alright, and also to the other people who responded positively, bye for now

Hello johanna, I must say that I find your comment disappointing, I can assure you that I am sincere and genuinely want to make new friends, I have always led a very busy life and now the " kids " have left home I feel very empty and I also nursed my husband through cancer and of course that took up lots of my time and now he has " gone " there is suddenly nothing to do, my best friend also died 2 years ago from cancer, I am not looking for sympathy and I know there must be others out there who are like me, I was just hoping for a way to restart my life and make some new friends and I am sorry you think otherwise, but you are entitled to you own oppinion and I respect that, I have had a few more positive replies so I am not ready to give up on the world yet, as I have only just joined I hope perhaps some one who lives nearer to me or perhaps find themselves in the same position will make contact, meanwhile "thanks " to those of you who have responded more positvely, I will answer you all later, I have to go to the shops at the moment so I will get back on site tomorrow and and answer the kind people who did believe me

Hello, specialmo, I don't agree with johanna. You do sound genuine to me and obviously to other posters as well. I echo everything Mishap says about U3A. There are probably many members who live in similar circumstances to yours (and mine). I have thoroughly enjoyed getting involved in new interests, making new friends and joining in theatre trips. Meanwhile, stick with us. We have a good virtual community on GN.

Hello Specialmo, I do wish I lived nearer to you, I`d love to meet up for lunch and a chat. There`s been some good advice on here though, and hopefully someone will be near enough for a meet up soon.