People to stay/staying over

Hamster 58, I am totally with you. I love having visitors and visiting friends, but I hate the overnight bit. I may feel better about having people to stay if we had an en suite for them to use. But it's the whole " what time to go to bed / get up " thing. My brothers both live a distance away, so seeing them means someone must stay over. We also have many family and friends abroad and my DH loves visiting them. But I always feel very anxious and stressed when either someone is staying here, or we are staying with someone else.

I don’t mind people staying with me but would definitely not like to think I was cramping someone else’s style.

hamster58

Thanks everyone for your comments. Clearly I-and some of us-are in the minority!! I don’t have a problem with entertaining or being entertained, I just like my own space at my own pace before and after!🤣

Yes, come round, visit, then leave for your hotel. We'll have peaceful quiet from 7p until 10a - thank you very much.

As with almost anything in life if circumstances change, we change and adjust what we do. We have just engaged a workman to do a job that we wouldn't have thougt twice about doing in the past. It is the same with visitors, some of us can no longer manage with visitors they way we did in the past.

We are OK at present, but circumstances could change.

Hi hamster58, the minority might be bigger than you think! I used to have guests quite happily, but a combination of a health issue and becoming more hermit-like as I’ve got older has meant I don’t invite people like I used to…

These days it’s only family, we have enough space, two of our spare rooms are en-suite and we have two other family bathrooms, so that’s not a problem, but happy as I am to see them, I’m just as happy to reclaim my space.
Our daughter and her three children have been living with us, so I’m still enjoying the peace and quiet, I’m not in hurry to fill the house up again.

Thanks everyone for your comments. Clearly I-and some of us-are in the minority!! I don’t have a problem with entertaining or being entertained, I just like my own space at my own pace before and after!🤣

DGSs only as overnight guests. Nobody else. Similarly, I only stay overnight at DDs if babysitting but have my own room and en suite there. Also I leave early in the morning so they can have their own slow, post night out, breakfast without me making them feel awkward.

I enjoy having people to stay, too. I had a wonderful time putting together a basket of toiletries in coordinating colours for my sister when she came, with similar coloured bed linen and towels.

Also it's very satisfying planning suitable meals. So far I've only had family to stay, but having a friend would be nice too.

Ooh! I've just remembered that about 3-4 years ago we had a guest from our French twin town when they came to visit. The programme was all planned by the twinning association but we provided board and breakfast. And some years before that we put up a lady from a visiting choir. She was Polish and we had absolutely no way of communicating with her, which was a challenge!

I love having people to visit and visiting them but no, I don’t like staying over or having them stay with us. Exception is close family, no problem there.
We either meet half way if a long distance or find a cheap mush place to stay.
I really don’t know why I feel this way but I just can’t do it.

When we retired and moved to the Lake District we had lots of family and friends to stay. We loved looking after them and showing them our new surroundings. In the first year we had forty guests! Less since but still over twenty each year. Special and memorable times!

We used to have friends to stay as we have plenty of room but as we have got older it tends to be only family. I do love to have guests but not for longer than 3 nights.

notgran

Never ever stay with friends or Family and never invite anyone to stay. If we invite people to come to Family events we book them into a Premier Inn and pay for them. The same when we go to visit them. It's such a lot of extra work and I hate to impose on them and don't want them imposing on us. Hoping to go to Trooping the Colour in June and London is only about 35 minutes on the train. I'm hoping a friend from up North can come. So we'll both stay in a hotel for that weekend, near Horse Guards Parade. A bit more expense but so much more relaxing and easy.

Perfect!

I do not consider that having friends to stay means we impinge on each other, and if the inclination of people on this thread is to be taken as indicative. If you or your family cannot afford hotel bills, well tough luck, you do not see your friends and relatives.

I come from an army family and I had a childhood of having to travel to see family because my father never seemed to be posted anywhere convenient for the family. In the 1950s, except for the week's summer holiday, hotels were generally unaffordable for most people.

At some point my father got a car and we travelled with a canvas camp bed that my sister and I top and tailed in and the baby slept with my parents, when we made the 200 mile journey to see grandparents and other friends in the aea where my parents had grown up. In their turn, family and army friends stayed with us.

I go to no special lengths when we have visitors. Clean sheets and towels, no special cleaning, or cooking, family just settle in and do as they will. Other visitors are with us for a reason or we plan leisurely outings locally. Usually they are close friends, going back 50 years or more, so they too just make themselves at home.

I took in occasional B&B guests when my neighbour ran a small business. Now that was a hassle. I did it about half a dozen times over about 2 years, but then used building work as a reason for stopping.

As I have got older I prefer to stay in an hotel unless I stay with immediate family. I don't like sharing a bathroom or cooking in someone else's kitchen ( cooking at all really). We have an en suite guest room so it's easier for people staying with us.
I find now that 5 days is quite long enough to be a guest or have guests.
Bit like Norah we like our routines and time with our animals etc.

We now always stay in a Premier Inn when we visit family in the north. They provide good, clean, comfortable accommodation without impinging on others.

We used to have lots of family and friends stay in the past because we moved to the south and they all lived in the north. Now I’m perfectly happy for them to stay in the Premier Inn up the road from here.

Never ever stay with friends or Family and never invite anyone to stay. If we invite people to come to Family events we book them into a Premier Inn and pay for them. The same when we go to visit them. It's such a lot of extra work and I hate to impose on them and don't want them imposing on us. Hoping to go to Trooping the Colour in June and London is only about 35 minutes on the train. I'm hoping a friend from up North can come. So we'll both stay in a hotel for that weekend, near Horse Guards Parade. A bit more expense but so much more relaxing and easy.

I only have my closest friend to stay or me with her. We know each other from childhood and are as close as sisters. We can have separate bathrooms and go to bed as we please no problem is one wants to go earlier than the other.

When I go to meet up with other friends I book myself an Airbnb as I don’t feel comfortable staying with anyone else.

Again, everyone is different.

We don't want people underfoot all day. We want to wake up, have a quiet cuppa, walk the dogs, eat breakfast, before any visitors intrude. We also want to have alone peaceful time after dinner, with the dogs, drinks before bed.

When we stay in a hotel to visit our family, an anonymous room and a provided light breakfast are all we want. We will be out of our hotel room by 9.00am and not back until 10.00pm. Looking at AirBNB for York, it seems to be mainly hotels anyway. We book into a Premier Inn or equivalent. it comes with assured parkinga dn all we need.

We usually stay with DDiL's mother, which costs a bunch of flowers and a meal out with the family, and as we have known each other for 20 years now, a nice natter, but during COVID, she was shielding so, when permitted to travel and visit we played safe and didn't stay with her.

We only have one bathroom so I was a bit worried about the prospect of 9 of us sleeping in the house over the Carnival weekend, including a 5 month old baby.

My sister came to stay - hadn't seen her since the first lockdown - almost 3 years. She asked about night time loo visits - to flush or not to flush? Simples - just clear up problems like that with no fuss by addressing the subject head on. In the end we only had 3 guests, all adults - son no 2's family divided up and half slept at son no 1's, who has 2 bathrooms.

I don't mind changing my bathing and sleeping routine to accommodate guests for a few days. I try and get up a little before the others and only need 11-12 mins in the bathroom anyway.

I do have a suspicion that DiL no 2 is a little worried about putting us out and offers to stay with someone else when they come. She also brings their own bed linen which is a huge help.

I'm with you hamster58 I don't enjoy either of those situations anymore. I used to enjoy both but perhaps I'm just getting too set in my ways. My sister does come for the odd weekend and she is an excellent guest but DD2 who we moved to be near although lovely and good company is not the best of guests. She moves in for the night as if she is coming for a fortnight, leaves her room in a mess and drinks me out of house and home. As I say she is lovely and she doesn't come here often.

For a cheaper stay than a hotel why not consider Airbnb? Most are self contained properties with every comfort. Some are a room in a private home with shared facilities which I would not like personally.

Hotels are fine, if you can afford them. During COVID, when permitted, we visited our son and family in York and stayed in a hotel instead of with DDiL's mother.

For three nights, we do not like travelling after dark, so go up Friday, come back Monday, the bill was over £400. Yes, York is an historic town and popular with tourists, but we investigated hotels up to 20 miles away in Selby, and they was very little cheaper.

Heading north 4 times a year and the cost is heading towards £1,500. i doubt many of us can consider expenditure like that without considerable thought.

Having visitors, and staying with others has never bothered me. We will be staying with a friend overnight on Friday.

At one point I used to occasionally provide an extra bedroom for the B&B next door, for which I was paid. The B&B did the breakfast, I cannot fry eggs satisfactorily, probably because I do not like them and never eat them myself.