People to stay/staying over

As with almost anything in life if circumstances change, we change and adjust what we do. We have just engaged a workman to do a job that we wouldn't have thougt twice about doing in the past. It is the same with visitors, some of us can no longer manage with visitors they way we did in the past.

We are OK at present, but circumstances could change.

hamster58

Thanks everyone for your comments. Clearly I-and some of us-are in the minority!! I don’t have a problem with entertaining or being entertained, I just like my own space at my own pace before and after!🤣

Yes, come round, visit, then leave for your hotel. We'll have peaceful quiet from 7p until 10a - thank you very much.

I don’t mind people staying with me but would definitely not like to think I was cramping someone else’s style.

Hamster 58, I am totally with you. I love having visitors and visiting friends, but I hate the overnight bit. I may feel better about having people to stay if we had an en suite for them to use. But it's the whole " what time to go to bed / get up " thing. My brothers both live a distance away, so seeing them means someone must stay over. We also have many family and friends abroad and my DH loves visiting them. But I always feel very anxious and stressed when either someone is staying here, or we are staying with someone else.

I stay with people, they stay with me but there are occasion when I prefer a hotel. I'm going to a wedding in May and rather than stay with a relative who lives nearby I've booked myself into a Premier Inn for three nights - I'm treating it as a Spring Break!

Norah

We're of the view that hotels exist for reasons - most important reason is for people to have a place to sleep, shower, and have privacy.

I'm with Nora as well except for close family who can stay as long as they like as we all just get on as usual.
Take a tip don't buy a house near a National Park, we did and I vowed I was not running a B&B. I have lost at least three friends when not picking up on hints to come and stay. One wanted to give their family a scare by disappearing for a couple of weeks and using us as the getaway.
Another who did stay moaned all the time about the weather and what the water was doing to their hair.
Neither when I have to visit do I want to sleep in the family bed and be told about it in no uncertain terms. Like dear MIL who always managed to leave something in the wardrobe that she needed whilst we were in bed!!!

In the words, I think, of Oscar Wilde - guests are like fish they go off after three days.

I don't like staying in anyone else's home. I wake up and wonder if I should get up, who might be in the bathroom, what time is breakfast etc. Awful. Far better to stay in a hotel with one's own bathroom and breakfast served by strangers. Then turn up at house of friends or family looking and feeling refreshed.

Susie42

In the words, I think, of Oscar Wilde - guests are like fish they go off after three days.

I'm going to remember that quote Susie42. Brilliant thank you.
We've had some on the turn and some distinctly off.

Skydancer Surely those are all things any half-competent host discusses with guests before they go to bed, often the guest asks anyway, I always do.

Fortunately our guests have their own bathroom but when we visit DS & family we stay with DdiL's mother. Only one bathroom, which contains the only loo in the house. We all wake about the same time, but DDL's mother is someone who goes downstairs in her dressing gown and potters around and gets dressed later. so a soon as she goes downstairs, we get up wash etc and go down to breakfast. We are then out fairly quickly out to go to DS's house where we are for the rest of the day. She then has the bathroom and house to herself for what ever personal ablutions she indulges in

I could’ve written this myself! I totally agree with you OP. My problem (I think) is I’m very insecure and always think I’m not good enough, so I’d feel I wasn’t a good enough cook/company if I had people staying, and if I were staying over, that I’d do something ‘wrong’. I’d love to be that person who loves that company and adapts, but it causes me real stress. I actually have a friend coming to stay soon, I’m dreading it (she’s not a particularly close friend) not because I don’t like her, just because of the above.

I am also on my own, and I don’t have a large living space, that doesn’t help either.

I’m so glad I’m not alone though!

Tgran I could’ve written this myself! I totally agree with you OP. I’m so glad I’m not alone though!

Quite. Hotels exist.

I just love my friends and family staying over in fact the more the merrier

How do these old threads suddenly appear?

We had some distant relatives to stay for a few days a couple of years ago. They lived overseas, wanted to break their journey up and although we didn't know them very well we invited them to stay which gave them the opportunity to explore this area for a few days.
Bathroom facilities were easily sorted as they had the ensuite bedroom upstairs whilst we migrated to the smaller spare room downstairs which is close to the downstairs toilet and shower.
It all started off well but soon turned sour when they expected us to drive them everywhere at the drop of a hat (they had hired a car) - we took them sightseeing and they expected us to pay for everything - they didn't even buy us a cup of tea!
To add insult to injury they all but trashed the bedroom and ensuite...........it took us days to clean up after they finally left. Never again........they came to the UK again the following year but we made sure we weren't 'available' to host and they had to stay in a hotel. Oddly enough, no one living locally in the extended family - and there's plenty of us - stepped up to host them originally, we soon found out why.

We still like having good friends or relatives to stay, but only 1-2 nights at a time!
They always say how well they sleep - we’ve got very large beds with toppers, black out blinds in each spare room, Egyptian cotton sheets & nice pillows. It’s very dark & quiet at night where we live. We’re fortunate to have separate bathrooms for guests too.
We do get invites back but we never sleep well - most have small double beds, with lightweight curtains. One lot of friends only have one bathroom & the loo doesn’t flush well - so another issue there!
We love visiting friends though - apart from the poor sleep - our friends are good hosts and we like a change from home.

I rattle around in a 4 bedroom house on my own. I love having visitors. My son, dil and 2 grandchildren live 140 miles away and come every few weeks for the weekend. My 2 teenage GC who live 10 miles away love to spend time with their little cousins so usually stay over as well. I love the hustle and bustle of all 4 GC staying overnight. The 2 teens play with the younger 2, read their bedtime stories and tuck them in to bed.

I had them all last weekend and it was hectic but lovely. The 2 local teenage GC are here just now for the weekend. I love that they ask to come for “a sleepover “ although the days of needing a babysitter are long since passed.

Surely it goes with the territory. Different people have different habits. Simplest thing is to talk to each other and find out what they do and you do and then agree a pattern of use convenient to you both.

If this sort of conversation makes you uncomfortable do not issue invitations or accept them.

Alternatively you could stay in a B&B or hotel.

I didn't think twice when I was younger but now I really wouldn't like someone staying over or the thought of going to stay with someone.

If the situation arose I would book into a hotel. I've always liked staying in hotels anyway so it would be a nice little treat.

I would be too embarrassed to have people to stay as my lavatorial problems rather dictate my mornings and some evenings which is not very conducive to entertaining.

I would also find it all a bit overwhelming to be honest. These days I like to gather my thoughts in the morning over a quiet cup of tea.

I am a very private person and prefer hotels for that reason. I dont like visitors for more than a few hours and unexpected callers rarely get past my door.

Thats why I have a ring type door bell.

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.

HelterSkelter1

How do these old threads suddenly appear?

Ask Bonnybanko he/she is the poster who resurrected it.

I hate staying with anyone - even my children. I invariably get up at least once during the night and having to creep about like a burglar in someone else’s house is embarrassing. However, I like having people stay with me. I have an en-suite and a large shower room that I never use myself. It’s usually just family now - older friends don’t travel these days.

petra

HelterSkelter1

How do these old threads suddenly appear?

Ask Bonnybanko he/she is the poster who resurrected it.

It’s more a case of why not how !

Although we have never had much space, we used to be quite happy to have people stay now and then or to stay with them. Nowadays we both absolutely hate it.

Part of the trouble is that as we have got older, so have our would-be guests, and it has become so much harder to share a small space.
Everyone takes a lot longer in the (only) bathroom than they used to and makes a lot more visits to it during the night, has become more fussy about things like mattresses and pillows, and less flexible about what they can / want to do during the day.

On top of that, we don't actually have a 'spare' bedroom - both OH and I sleep badly these days, so I use it myself. That way, if one of us is tossing and turning (or snoring), we don't keep the other awake. Not that would-be guests know this.

If someone stays, I have to share a bed with OH again and
both of us are likely to be extremely tired and irritable the next day through poor sleep. Best avoided if possible!!

BonnyBanko

Why find a year old thread