Can you blame the menopause?

HRT turns you back into a normal person. I have warned my GP that my husband will walk up and down outside the surgery with a placard if she tries to take it off me again!

Last time she thought I should come off it, I had a huge panic attack when I had a hot flush whilst shopping. It was so bad that I really wanted to strip off my clothes in a busy shop.

Oh gosh Liz! I havent even been to my doc about this or thought about HRT but I really do need to be a normal person again

See your GP. Night sweats can be caused by a number of conditions.

Get your Blood sugar checked,

Yes, get a medical check and go for HRT if your GP agrees. I had a marked improvement after I started taking HRT. Have to say that was quite a long time ago so don't know what current thinking is.

I guess I need to check myself checked .. thought I had escaped all that! I usually prefer to take the alternative medicine route and have bought sage tea which is recommended for hot flushes. I know theres a lot of hype about HRT and its side effects and will discuss with my GP when I can get an appointment!
Thankyou all for this push ..

mary but to come back to your question about having developed an aversion to being touched - I've never heard of that in relation to menopause. Surely, you can't fee like that all the time, especially if you do love your husband?

Just by the way, I could never settle on HRT, I was one of the unfortunate ones who suffered severe breast pain when I was taking it. So I came off it, and had a period of having hot flushes intermittently (which I don't remember now as having been unbearable) and then got over those. It's all just a vague memory now (I'm 67). I guess what I'm saying is I hope it doesn't drag on for you, it does pass. But yes, see your GP.

Hi Grannyknot & Thankyou for your imput here..
There are so many different views on HRT and it seems to work for some and not for others. Im going with the sage tea and upping my B vitamin intake for three months as a starting point. My flushes during the day are infrequent and hardly a problem to me.
Its possible the nighttime flushes and feelings of suffocation I often have are unrelated to the menopause and this is why I was interested to know if others were affected in the same way.

I do love my OH and we have (had) a fantastic & happy relationship in every way. Its just in the last year I have become a bit moody and find myself taking it out on him. Ive kicked him (hard) & pushed him away in my sleep (along with the covers) and moved myself to the edge of the bed to try and cool down. He tells me I am very restless and sometimes sit up suddenly in my sleep! When I sleep alone (he works away a lot) I sleep without covers as I hate the feeling of having them touching me and I still wake up feeling so hot and like I am suffocating. I have a window left open wide and a fan.

I believe this aversion to be touched by OH, friends, family and anyone else is a psychological problem Ive developed following from the night time episodes. It isnt in any way the person I really am. Now Ive written it down like this Ive kinda realised how bad this has become, and feel awful and need to work on myself. I am going to set myself little tests. This weekend I am meeting with my Mum & step father and they always hugs me when they see me. Usually I just stand there like a wooden soldier, flinching inside. I am going to make a conscious effort to respond in some way.
Weather this is menopause related or not I have to change it. I want my 'old self' back

MarySunshine It's ok to say that you want your old self back and I understand that. I too am going through changes although not yet had the final period but experiencing strange things going on now for about 3 or 4 years. I do feel at times that I am sort of taken over by the hormones and no matter what I do, I will still be a right pain to live with or not want to socialise with others at times. I have not had my cleaner come round for instance because she is hyper and I need to be in the right mood for her, which I have not been recently. So to steel yourself to hug people when your body is obviously saying otherwise might not be the way to go. Maybe, at the moment, try coming up with some other form of affection, wink at each other, broad smile, an "I love you" more often for your hubby, maybe try sleeping apart and then you don't put him in A & E . It must be awful to live with someone when their personality seems to change due to their hormones. I too would not take HRT due to the pill not agreeing with me when I was younger and I do like to do things naturally if possible.

I also get the claustaphobic feeling you are talking about. If I go into a room at the moment I have to open a window, even for a few minutes. It is very strange but it is what it is. Can you keep your curtains open as well? Just so that you don't feel like outside is cut off? I've got a fan and have just bought my doggie a dog cave so that she can cuddle up at the back of it and not have a gale force 10 trying to blow her off the bed! Otherwise I would have to put her lead on and hold her like a balloon, hovering over the duvet!

It's a right pain, this menopause thing. I have ordered some books from Amazon on the subject to keep the spirits up and take the lighter side on the matter but it does wear you down. PM me if you want, we can maybe help each other.

Hi Rubylady and Thankyou for the reply. Its good to know that there are others out there experiencing similar symptoms and who can understand.

It would be lovely if we could help or support eachother so PM on its way..

And for any of you looking to try an alternate for the hot flushes.. After only a few days of taking Sage my night flushes seem to be tamer and my daytime one less frequent! I am taking one sage with the B vitamins, and having an evening cuppa of sage tea with lemon and honey .. tastes YUKKY but hoping it will be an aquired taste {smile}

MarySunshine, your experiences sound similar to mine, I too feel very hot at night and go through the whole routine of throwing the covers off and on at regular intervals. I have a freestanding fan at the side of my bed that I carefully position it so it just blows over me and not my husband. I identify with what you say about being "suffocated", or maybe I tend to think of it more as a feeling of being overwhelmed and certainly not wanting to be hugged at such a time. For me there is an urge during "hot" periods is to rush out into cold air, I even think I would welcome an "ice bucket challenge"at such a time I have been to my doctor to ask for hrt, my periods stopped about 5 years ago, I'm having a late menopause i guess. However, recent blood tests for me showed that my thyroxine for my underactive thyroid needs to be increased by 25mcg so my doctor has asked me to give this 3 month trial, plus I'm having further blood tests for raised iron levels, but after that I'm told I can give hrt a try. I don't think we are so unusual most women of my age I know seem to experience something along the lines described.

Hi TerriBull May i suggest you try some sage tea (best run it past your GP if you are on other medications) but a good health shop will be able to advise. Already Ive noticed that Im having less daytime flushes and last night I didnt the fling covers off once and although I did have a few flushes, they was far more bearable than usual.

I too stopped having periods about five years ago, they just stopped suddenly and I didnt appear to have any menopausal symptoms until maybe a year or so ago.

Now an ice bucket' challenge .. might think about that and raise some money for charity!

Thanks for the tip MarySunshine I'll give it a try.