Maternal instincts

Sorry not to have seen your question when you posted it. I have heard that some women regret the end of their child bearing years. Anecdotally most of my friends welcomed the fact that their fertile years are over.
Everyone is different.

If I’m being honest, I’m not sure I’ve ever had a maternal instinct - even though I dearly love my three children! I never planned to have children, they were all conceived by accident ( or carelessness) rather than planned but I would not be without them now.

I was long past the menopause when the first Gdc was born, but I do find that since then I’m rather more kindly disposed to other people’s children than I ever was when my own were small.
I had almost zero patience with any whining, moaning, or brat-like behaviour.,

My maternal instinct had grown over the years. As a young woman I wasn't interested in babies and children at all. After having my own children and especially so with my GCs I am very maternal now.

I wonder is it nature's way of ensuring that care of children is shared by extended family - particularly post-menopausal women who may have more time.

However, it might also explain some of the very possessive grans who post here sometimes about wanting more time with GC!

Not me, I had limited maternal feelings when my own children were young, very little now. Fortunately all my grandchildren are grown up.
I have posted on here before that my ex husband said I had the maternal instincts of Herod.

I loathed children until I suddenly wanted a baby mid-30s. Just the one and to this day I would still kill for him aged almost 40 whilst returning pretty quickly to loathing all other children. Lord knows what I will do if I ever have a grandchild. I think ‘maternal instincts of Herod’ sums it up nicely. Now if you’re talking about animals, absolutely the opposite.

Yes, and I actually think (although we are all different) that some of it is 'grandmother' instincts coming to the fore. I'm sure you know the hypothesis that in those animals that live past reproductive years, the reason may be to offer advice and support on child-rearing.
I come from a long line of 'strongly maternal' women (shorthand expression for something much more nuanced). They took a great and active interest in the children of the family until the end of their lives. Sadly, in the case of my mother's dementia, this also manifested as extreme anxiety about other children & pregnant women.

I think perhaps it's nature's way of making one last attempt at ensuring our genes are passed on, before it's too late.
It certainly never happened to me, although I did smile at a baby, once. (But only because the baby started it!)

I love my own three grown up children but don’t have grandchildren yet. I don’t feel in the slightest bit bothered at the moment whether I have grandchildren or not. I am enjoying this stage of life where it is mostly my husband and myself at home and we can be a little selfish, although we love to see our family of course. I expect that if we do have grandchildren in the future I will enjoy every minute. I am with children (my music pupils) every day and enjoy their company but I also like the fact that it is a fixed time period.

I don't have a maternal instinct. I adore my DGS but only him. I'm indifferent to other children.

Think my children survived in spite of me! They have turned into a fine pair of lads though.

Think that's what happened to my daughters Kim19

I wanted to be a mum from an early age, I was lucky had my 3 and thoroughly enjoyed them but when they went off to Uni or away to work I didn't have empty nest syndrome and enjoyed life with DH on our own again. I now find I can have the most tender and sentimental feeling about the GC, I look at them and wonder how life will treat them and worry about them just as much as I did the AC.so presumably the maternal feeling hasn't disappeared yet. The menopause for me coincided with the first GC arriving. I do take an interest in friends GC but I have usually known the families for years.

MissAdventure
I think I always wanted to be a mum but the reality of 3 small boys was a bit different and then a girl when I approached menopause so maybe that was a rush of maternal hormones.
I have mellowed as I've aged but would never choose to be a hands-on gran. I love, and am very proud of, my 7 DGC but I don't see them often.

I became pregnant with our only child, DD, in 1969 when I was 19 and just married. She was unplanned but she became my world. I have never had a maternal instinct. However I would be our granddaughter's mum if I could

No I’m definitely not maternal. That is why I gave birth to twins I reckon. Anyway enough to say I loved the children Growing up, family holidays etc but so relieved nowadays not to have day to day worry. The dgc live many hundreds of miles away so rarely see them but I wouldn’t wish to be hands on if they lived closer. Yes I would collect from school etc but would not want a “commitment” every day like some friends have.

I adore children, love their company and all the fun and energy they bring. The feeling of all that life and possibility ahead of them makes my heart sing. I've never had the slightest desire to have children of my own. I didn't need or want children and so I didn't have them. The menopause didn't change that in any way.

I never had any maternal instinct even though I was infants teacher.I liked them but not in a maternal way. Friends started having them, family kept asking why there wasn't any. DH thought I might change.
We had one and the moment I saw the baby the instincts kicked in, but I had one of those awkward babies who did not like to be cuddled or kissed and could not be pacified.
The next one followed shortly too shortly for MIL. All cuddles and kisses and clinging to my leg ,perfect.
I have instincts for my GC but still allergic to others children.

I’ve always been very maternal. I went through a very early menopause and I was desperate to be a grandma. I’m super maternal to my grandchildren as well. But I do like to lock the door when they’ve gone and just be with DH on our own.
An old friend once told me that someone she knew told her daughter after she had had her own child that she didn’t want anything to do with them anymore now they’d made her a grandma and certainly wanted absolutely nothing to do with her grandchild. I was so shocked.

In my 40s, my sons were young adults and I remember feeling extremely broody, longing to hold a baby. The lady I used to care for (then in her 80s) used to let me hold one of her "Reborn" dolls - she's had the same urges in her 40s too. That urge was satisfied a bit when my GC were born.