Standing up when parents / teachers walk in?

This thread is getting quite complicated and a bit serious. I was brought up in an environment where it was deemed perfectly normal for men to stand when visiting women entered the room and most men I know still adhere to this unwritten and very simple social convention.

But I do remember my mother - a stickler for good manners - becoming quite hysterical with suppressed laughter when a friend's new and "anxious to please" boyfriend spent the afternoon at our house and jumped to his feet every single time my mother entered or re-entered the drawing room.

So one courteous acknowledgement of someone's presence is fine. Twenty in the space of two hours is just plain daft!

That is very true expatmaggie

Sorry about the typing errors. I haven't got my glasses on.

With goood manners it is better to behave well than badly and if the head of a school can get the children standing up when the teacher comes in then his studets have learned something. It can't harm them, and it may help with getting a job.
I can't fault David Cameron when he thinks it is good idea. Well mannered people do better at work, they do better in job interviews and in their private life.

Oh, I'm with you! The story is told by each pupil adding one word...good idea.

anagram, in a one-word story each person says one word and a story is told. you can tell them to 'tell the story of goldilocks and the three bears' or you can leave it to their imagination. they answer in register order so you can mark them in as you hear each voice.

I agree with you, goldengirl.

One of the advantages of having such 'rules' is that everyone knows what to do in certain situations.
As for not standing up for a despised/hated teacher I think it shows / teaches restraint if you do stand up. Someone in the class might not feel the same ywa about that teacher. It would look odd if s/he stood up on her/his own.
In life it isn't always appropriate to show our true feelings and perhaps these days we do it all too often which is leading us - young people in particular -into a state of confusion.

Surely that's glassand I withe wine?

Oh, I see! I think the idea is rather to instill the concept of 'respect' rather than to imply that being older is somehow more worthy of it. But I agree that at home that way of showing deference would be ridiculous - the poor kids would be up and down like a fiddler's elbow (as my old granny used to say )

anagram, because why should I ask them to do something I didn't expect to do too? I don't deserve any more respect than my kids do.

Both my DSIL stand when I enter a room for the first time, or return to the table in a restaurant. I find it quite refreshing but usually manage a 'don't get up' before they are fully risen. The still get up for a friendly peck on the cheek and hello. DDs usually get up when other adults join our company in order to greet them. I think it just good manners and wonder whether the media just grabbed the comment made by David Cameron and used it out of context. It wouldn't be the first time!

Why would you have to stand up, bagitha?

I'd be pleased if they were even here!

I wouldn't expect my kids to stand up for me at home. Whatever for? Besides, then I'd have to stand up when they entered a room and that would never do!

Yep, the standing up lark is a crowd control technique. Teachers use them a lot. Goes with the job.

We always stood when a teacher entered a classroom and as bags said it defused all discussions going on in the classroom and got you into the thread of the lesson,when we where changing classrooms we also had to acknowledge teachers in the corridors by saying Good morning/Afternoon Sir or Miss that has stayed with me all my life as now when I telephone anyone (except family/friends) I always start my conversation with Good Morning/Afternoon.

At the school dd teaches, she is addressed as ma'am! I think the female teachers objected to the men being called 'sir', while they were called miss.

I'm not sure teaching children 'surface' manners, which is what I think this would be, is what is needed. Perhaps a little bit more pse teaching, both at school and, even more importantly, at home.

We always get complimented on our friendly, well behaved, respectful children when ofsted calls. "wonderful children" I think one of the inspectors said last time. Children hold open doors for adults. They mostly live on a deprived council estate.
What on earth would standing up when adults enter classrooms add to this achievement on the part of the school?

This is quite a complicated thread to follow but I think I agree with Bagitha.

A quick answer would be to say yes I think children should stand when a teacher comes into the room, but only if they are attending Eton.

A longer answer would be that generally speaking I think respect has to be earned not demanded. If you have a school where there is hostility between teachers and pupils (with faults on both sides a lot of the time, not just with the pupils) then insisting that pupils stand when a (hated and despised maybe) teacher enters the room would do more harm than good.

My impression is that many of the posters in favour of children standing attended convents or grammar schools, a different kettle of fish to the free- for-all, no hope secondary moderns that some of us went to. I can't remember any standing in my school though I think some of the better behaved boys did desist from throwing missiles after the teacher entered the room

Children need to understand 'why' there are certain expectations placed upon them and are also very quick to spot discrepancies in behaviour. I would not expect my children (or pupils) to have standards that I didn't keep myself, but I do see and hear this quite often of late. Adults who swear/shout/are rude/say unkind things and then tell children that they shouldn't behave like that. I agree with baggy's comment about society being us. If respect is modelled, then usually that is understood by young people and they will adapt their own behaviour accordingly.
Having said that, I know that I sometimes let myself down in the way I behave and I'm an adult; I think children and young people ought to be allowed to grow and develop and make mistakes without incurring derogatory labels. I often hear parents (and teachers) describe particular children as 'monsters', 'nightmares' and worse.
As for greetings - again I would echo baggy who I think has it spot on.

Mmm bagitha will think while clearing out my wardrobe...

It's the essence of the greeting that counts, not the form. Maybe some people are less skilled at recognising "essences" and that's why a change in form bothers them. [goes off to ponder on this while cleans teeth]

These days I am never introduced to anyone older than I am - but when I was younger I would stand to be introduced. I tend to just smile and say 'Hello' to my daughter's and GC's friends.