The older you are the happier you are, according to new survey

My mother lived to 100. However after her birthday she said 'It is dull sitting here waiting to die.' Despite living with me, meeting up with my friends and enjoying trips to the seaside, evenings out, and a river cruise booked for autumn my mother died. She had never wanted to grow old. She did not believe in heaven.

Yes I think when we first retire it is easy to be happy if we have our health and independence and some control over our lives. However as we get older, our bodies get more frail and our friends and relatives die. For those who have a strong faith and feel that the time has come for preparation to meet their maker, then I think they have a purpose in life that keeps them going. For those who consider life to be all there is then I think it gets more difficult to remain happy.

This is a list of our needs:
emotional needs include:

Security — safe territory and an environment which allows us to develop fully
Attention (to give and receive it) — a form of nutrition
Sense of autonomy and control — having volition to make responsible choices
Emotional intimacy — to know that at least one other person accepts us totally for who we are, “warts 'n' all”
Feeling part of a wider community
Privacy — opportunity to reflect and consolidate experience
Sense of status within social groupings
Sense of competence and achievement
Meaning and purpose — which come from being stretched in what we do and think.

As you can see these become more difficult to meet as we get older. I have taken up Chinese brush painting as a hobby. I hope that in my very old age I will still be able to pick up a brush, will have achieved some skills, and have friends or care workers who will enjoy supporting me to paint.

I love the name "chucklebutties" Greatnan! sounds just like my little grandaughter.
I thought I was happy when I retired, but now that she's come along life is just wonderful. And reading other posts reminds me that I must keep up with the yoga so that I can run around with her for as long as possible.

I think I generally agree with you Toddler except for those who are really ill either physically or mentally. Some who are physically ill can be positive and happy but that must be difficult. Luckily I am well so don't know.

It all depends on who you are. It never ceases to amaze me how the media try to manipulate our thoughts like this! Happiness is a choice

I would be totally happy if I could heal the breach with my daughter. There is nothing else wrong in my life. But then, my sister once accused me of being annoying because I was so Pollyanna-ish. She once demanded to know why I was 'unreasonably happy'. I believe that the capacity for happiness is in-born and bears little relationship to material wealth. My mother was one of the happiest people I have ever known, and she appeared, on the outside, to have led a life of unremitting poverty and hard work.
In our family, certain babies are known as 'chuckle-butties' - they are the ones who are practically born smiling and continue to be upbeat all their lives. My eldest daughter is like that. Her sister was a born grizzler and nothing I could do ever satisfied her demands for attention. I think the Good Fairy delivers more seratonin to some babies.

Not necessarily. I'm happy that I can at last pursue things more or less on my own terms but unhappy that I can't have, for example, what I'd like in terms of the type of house (the cost would be too much if we altered our current house) and location (because of family circumstances). I get stressed quite easily so perhaps I'd never be totally satisfied

Seriously ....... I think it takes energy to be tolerant, happy and smiling. When you are ill or in pain, it is hard to be happy and we generally tolerate "impatient patients." In the same way when we are really tired/overworked/stressed, our sense of humour is often the first thing to fly out of the window. As we get older we do have less energy so the phenomenon of the grumpy old man/woman is not surprising - especially when you see the absolute pr**s who constitute the great and the good in our society!!

You're not alone, gracesmum!

Why am I morphing into Victor(ia) Meldrew then?

I am generally happy, things would be much better if I didn't have the pain in my knee and back which as been non stop since Saturday , but I know that it will fade as the days go on and then I will be pain free for a while. I am only too well aware that for some of us on here the pain they have is every day non stop so I am very grateful for my state of health.
I will say that as I get older the less I worry, I used to worry about every thing, paying bills, work etc; and all that waste of time and engery spent in worring didn't change things one little bit so what was the point ?

So am I happier now well no my happiest time would have been in the 60s, with the long school summer holidays , going to the pictures to see The Beatles in 'Help' with my sister and the both of us putting on make up playing our records and dreaming that perhaps we could meet the Beatles and they would 'fall in love 'with us . Oh the joys of youth. !
But I am happy now its just a different sort of happy

I think my happiest times were 0-9 and 18-20. Retirement was great at the start but I feel I'm getting older now; and people around me are becoming ill more often. I have been very fortunate to date but I'm beginning to understand what Bette Davis meant when she said 'Old age is no place for sissies'.

Yes absent that was the conclusion I came to and did my very best to show him we are not all like that. Of course I am in pain too but that didn't make me negative about retirement.

AlisonMA Perhaps the reason that the physio thinks most retired people are not happy is because the ones he sees are in pain.

when I too am more content. I'm happy to want what I have. Once upon a time, I was inclined to believe that happiness was having what I wanted. And then I discovered that it was not necessarily so...

I've got lots of aspirations and goals but none of them bear any relation to working for a living!

Most of the retired people I know are generally happy (according to my subjective view), and I certainly am. Very content. Lots of things to worry about like family's health and whether my knee will behave so I don't need an op, but I usually wake up feeling good about life

Well I'm generally happy and I think one of the reasons we are happier when we are retired is that we no longer have aspirations. We know there will be no more promotions or redundancies. We don't have to please bosses or coleagues and therefore a lot of the stresses are taken away.

Of course if you have ill health that is a different matter but for those of us retired and in good health there is ev every reason to be happy.

Interestingly I have just come back from physio and he was surprised that I am happy. He says most retired people are not!

I think you just get more resigned to your fate!

The older I get the happier I am that I haven't died yet!