How can you NOT KNOW you are pregnant?

I think it does happen, quite genuinely, especially if the baby is very small. What I can't understand is why a 'team' is having to be flown out to Afghanistan to care for mother and baby on the way home.

I remember a 17 year old i met who really did not look pregnant and she was not obese. Which can hide a pregnancy - but not likely in a soldier!
But:
If the mother has got rock hard abs. If she has a fairly large frame and if the baby is not very big. If she normally exercises hard and does not have regular periods. If she thought the movements were wind. If she didn't notice her boobs were bigger.
i suspect team means an army midwife as they won't have one out there. But it could also be that the baby is a month or more early - small - and I don't think people normally would put new mums and neonates in planes.

Ah yes is was more than a month early.

It is certainly possibe to hide a pregnany from other people. When I was 14 I visited my elder sister, who had three children, one only just a year old. I noticed a new pram and asked her why she had got one when he was nearly ready for a pushchair. That was August Bank Holiday. She had another baby on 2nd September. She was very petite, about 5' 2" and slightly built.When we asked her why had kept her pregnancy secret, she said she was embarrassed at having another baby so soon. She was a very strange, secretive type anyway.

And of course there is the powerful psychological defence - denial in which one dismisses all kinds of unpalatable things from the conscious mind.

Obstetrician on Today just now says "concealed pregnancies" (means ones where mother didn't know as well as ones they hid) run at about one in 2500 generally and 1 in 120 in some places. She said it was commoner among teenagers. One of my aunts thought it was 'the change' right up to the delivery!

A 15-year old that we know woke her mother in the middle of the night and asked to be taken to hospital as 'the baby is coming'. Her mother, a professional woman, was in shock as this was the first she knew about it. The daughter had realised she was pregnant but hid it well. It even went unnoticed during PE lessons at school.

I think "concealed pregnancy" has a judgemental tone to it - almost Victorian.

There's a huge difference between hiding your pregnancy and not knowing you are actually pregnant. The latter is almost unbelievable to most of us, but apparently it happens

Many years ago I worked for a company that included private health insurance as part of the pay package. One afternoon, all the women in my department trotted off for a well-woman check-up. One of us discovered, to her great surprise and delight, that she was seven months pregnant.

I worked alongside a 43 year old woman who was not aware she was pregnant. She had few periods, no other children to give clues that her body was changing, and she didn't look pregnant to anyone else. She got stomach pains and thought she might have appendicitis, and gave birth soon after getting to A and E. the baby was full term and weighed over 7 lbs. She and her husband were thrilled to bits. They had been married over 20 years.

In both my pregnancies I had a slight 'show' a few times , which could have been thought to be periods, so I can partly understand someone not knowing. Some women do not get breast changes either. In my case the constant nausea would have been a give-away!

I am soon to see someone who didn't know she was pregnant until very late on. She had been told she had a condition which would make it impossible to ever conceive so it is no wonder she had no idea.

I cannot undestand this either. Perhaps if the mother is very obese, but there is no feeling that compares with someone inside kicking you and elbows or heels shooting across inside your belly I have never had wind that felt like that. Maybe very young and naive girls or persons in complete denial.

My DD is now 1 day late with my 1st grandchild, seeing the size she was a couple of weeks ago you could hardly have missed her belly being a baby bump. Please send calming thoughts to me over the next few days.

I haven't been around for a while but felt I had to comment on this subject.

At 18 I was 5ft 6inches and weighed around 8 and a half stone. I worked in a large office with mainly all women. I had no idea I was pregnant at all until one day a technician was changing some tube lights above my head. I was working away and the light cover fell and literally knocked me off my chair. We all laughed it off but I felt a bit weird. Suddenly had strange cramps in my legs and tummy. I was given some pain killers and carried on working my shift. I then got the bus home (stood all the way as the bus was really busy) and when I got home (my mums) I went to lie down as didn't feel too well. A couple of hours later I shouted to my mum that I was having a wee and it wouldn't stop coming !! An hour and an ambulance later 1 small baby boy weighing less than 5lbs .

I had no idea, I wore my ordinary clothes, I wasn't overweight....

Good luck NellieM, keep calm and have a
Positive thoughts are on their way....

Wow gillybob that's some experience you went through.

If you don't mind me asking, how did it turn out?

Nellie good luck. So hard having to just wait and not able to go in and do/say anything to help. Breathe, breathe, breathe, you not her!

Hi petallus Looking back I was very naive and honestly didn't have a clue. My parents went crazy (my mum had a bit of a breakdown) and I was forced persuaded to marry the father. The "marriage" lasted less than a year before he left me quite literally holding the baby.

On the positive side I grew up very quickly and was a very responsible single parent. I worked full time and rented a lovely little flat (although in a very rough area). My son was the most gentle natured beautiful baby who eventually melted my mums heart.

My sister at the time was 13 and talking about it recently she said that the day after he was born, my mum was having the hysterics, my dad was ranting and raving, my gran was ringing her hands and sobbing (proclaiming that I was ruined) and my sister and her friend were jumping for joy !

gillybob this thread was made for you! What a shock you must have had, how did you cope and what did your mum say?

Hope it all goes well nellie.
And that you have a wonderful time helping your DD after the baby comes.
I went to stay with my DD after my DGD was born, and DSiL had gone back to work and it was one of the happiest weeks of my life.

My mum went crazy shysal. She found it very difficult to cope with the shock and the shame but eventually pulled herself together and fell in love with her grandson. Mind you there was never an option for me to stay "at home". Ny dad was a tidy freak who had to come in from work to a tidy organized house with dinner on the table. A baby and all the stuff that comes with it would have sent him over the edge.

I've always been sceptical about claims that the woman in question didn't realise she was pregnant, but your story has changed my mind, gillybob! I think the problem is that as most of us have experienced pregnancy, we're all pretty sure we'd recognise the symptoms, but that was our own experience and we have to accept that for some women the experience can be completely different.
It sounds as though you coped admirably, gillybob, in difficult circumstances.

I will confess I was a pregnant and unmarried 19 year old, and I was in self denial for months. I was young and fit and did not look in the least bit pregnant for 6 months, my periods were very light and of course eventually had to admit I was pregnant. I think it was sheer terror om my part that made me deny it even to myself. the family did not greet the news with unbridled joy, but I think I thought I would be thrown into the streets. I blush now to think how stupid and naive I was.