'Granny Leave'

I'm a club sandwich Grandmother!

I don't actually care for my Mum but the emotional side is quite difficult as well as fitting in visiting, being abused, making sure her bill is paid, she has money, clothes etc.

DS1 needs running around a bit since his stroke.

Until July, I looked after DGC 25 miles away once a week and a panic times.

I have DD3's children at the drop of a hat as she is setting up a new business.

Other DC and DGC need me when ever they need me.

I do the admin, phones etc for DH's patients.

Having not worked properly for years I find it all a bit of a roller coaster and would love it if each week had some pattern.

But, I do it for love not because the government imply I should.

There is a firm by us that I use. It sells and hires second hand stair lifts. It might be worth looking to see if there is one by you.

That would be ideal ... I never thought to Google second hand ones. Thanks Galen

There is a firm by us that I use. It sells and hires second hand stair lifts. It might be worth looking to see if there is one by you.

Been Googling stair lifts. A recommendation would help. Does anyone have personal experience, tips, etc?

I've just arranged to have my 88-year old MiL living with us for the next few months. She's incontinent, has advanced dementia, mobility problems, etc.
I will still be looking after a 2-year old and two 3-year olds four days a week, taking the 6-year old to school and picking him up and keeping him (with his brother and cousins) until 5.00pm and a couple of overnight stays too.

I am just hoping I can keep it all together. Listening to Gillybob and Iam64 stories help.

gillybob - your story is familiar to me, I've been in a similar situation with family members at opposite ends of the age group, all needing support. I hope you're managing to find a bit of space for yourself. I'm not joking, honestly and I know it won't be easy. My space during a particularly demanding time in my life, was before the rest of the house woke up. I'd be downstairs with a cup of tea, might put a wash in, or make the kitchen look a bit brighter. As soon as it got light, I'd be out for a walk with my dogs. It was glorious, and I met other people with similarly busy lives. It was so light, we'd chat about the weather, the dogs, and life seemed to slow down a bit. Sending you a calming cuppa x

I don't know how you cope Gillybob you must be very strong mentally and physically.

I wonder whether any of the rhetoric from the articles above will translate into action? At least one good thing, it is highlighting the important part played by older people whereas usually it's the 'drain on resources' which gets all the media attention.

I hardly think the photograph of the Middletons was appropriate to front this article. Are they typical grandparents? I think not.

I look after my 3 grandchildren 2 days a week including an overnight as their parents both work full time in fairly low paid jobs, i do the odd weekend to help out too. I have a 97 year old grandma of whom I am the designated next of kin. I see her almost everyday as she is poorly and bit confused. I also have a very sick mum who needs a great deal of my attention too. My husband and I have a small (struggling) engineering business where I am supposed to work 4 days but currently only managing 3. Sadly because it is our own business I cannot take any paid leave as we would be unable to pay anyone to replace me.

I cannot see my situation changing any time soon as there are so many people relying on me to "be there" for them, however I have not written this post to come across as moaning about my personal situation I just wanted to highlight the reason why showing the Middletons at the top of the page makes me so angry.

The birth rate has increased this year and this looks likely to be a growing trend. Isn't it therefore about time the retirement age was brought back down to a more realistic 65, Enabling everyone of this generation to look after their family and/or give back to their local community without the guilt of taking time off work

Fantastic appearance by Pam, a Gransnet Local Editor, on BBC Breakfast this morning. She voiced many points made on this subject by Gransnet members and GN Local was given a good plug.

Have any of you been watching Benefits Britain 1949?
Last week it was about who gets a council house. A single woman with two children was turfed out of her house and into B&B accommodation.
However, she was helped into work and her children had free nursery places. Tomorrow it's about unemployment.
It's all about comparing 1949 and 2013. A man from Zimbabwe, I think, ended up sleeping in a doorway because the hostel he had been sent to only had five beds for people of "his kind". However, he was given a job working in the fields, and he was pleased about that as he had not worked for 4 years.

Nanaej - I'm in agreement. We need properly funded early years/nursery care. We need to subsidise the high cost of good quality child care to enable parents to work. I have a number of friends aged 70 plus who are full time carers for 2 or 3 under 5's as their parents can't afford to reduce their hours. Everyone in the family unsurprisingly, is tired.

Lara I saw you quoted in The Observer this morning! Nellie I did not read it as seeing older persons jobs as less important. Think the way it is presented suggests that it would give greater flexibility to families about how to use childcare leave.

However as I am such a cynic I think it is just another way for the government to avoid providing properly funded Early Years /Nursery care.

I am not sure of the figures but if all the money paid to families for subsidising childcare was invested into improving the quality and accessibility of childcare that might reduce the need for the dilemma about who should stay at home to look after the children.

Unfortunately you can't access the full article unless you have a Times subscription!
I agree Nellie. It also sort of implies there's an obligation to help with childcare of one's DGC. It should be a matter of choice.

It's more nonsense from Jeremy Hunt.

Grandparents having the right to request flexible working ..... now where have we heard that before?

I think caring for infirm parents yes. Caring for grandchildren of parents who are incapacitated maybe.
Caring for Grandchildren to suit working parents no! This implies that Grandparents jobs are less valuable to themselves and to society than those of their children. I am not having that one!