Gransnet forums

News & politics

It beggars belief

(14 Posts)
absent Fri 22-Nov-13 05:05:17

I'm not sure if this link will work, but here goes.
nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/world/19954981/iowa-defend-bullying-of-autistic-teen

thatbags Fri 22-Nov-13 08:49:55

On the face of it, yes, that story does beggar belief, but I wonder if we are only seeing the face of the beast and not the whole animal. We certainly can't assume we have all the information from that report.

sunseeker Fri 22-Nov-13 09:16:18

I have worked with someone with Aspergers, she was the most manipulative person I have ever worked with. Her favourite trick was to tell one person that another person had said something about them and then sit back and enjoy the resulting argument, until we cottoned on to what she was doing. At one point she physically attacked me. This was difficult enough for me as an adult who had done some reading to try to get some idea about Aspergers when she was first employed, how much more difficult must it be for a child. Not that I am condoning any bullying - hopefully the school will now help both the boy in question and the rest of his classmates.

whenim64 Fri 22-Nov-13 09:16:53

Looks like a whole lot of people need some more understanding about Aspergers, when this kid gets hit in the mouth for uttering insults and many of the adults defend it.

absent Fri 22-Nov-13 18:03:33

sunseeker It doesn't sound as if the school intends to do anything much. The head/principal/whatever he's called has stated that dealing with bullying is ultimately the students' responsibility. No it bloody isn't; ultimately it's his.

Deedaa Fri 22-Nov-13 22:10:51

How can someone involved in education know so little about children? They won't "take ownership" (one of my pet hates!) and stop the bullying, the herd mentality will take over and they will join in. I remember a bad case when I was at school and even the teachers joined in. They seemed to think that the poor child was a legitimate target.

Eloethan Sat 23-Nov-13 11:50:09

Dreadful.

Faye Sat 23-Nov-13 22:02:16

absent I loathe bullying and will stand up against it. There was a case of a child being badly bullied at a school for years in Australia. It was reported in the media and the principal was interviewed, he said there wasn't much he could do. It annoyed me so much I wrote to him and said "..... this happened on your watch and was your responsibility. Shame on you."

He didnt reply and I had given my name and email address. confused Silly man.

It beggars belief to me that only a few stand up for some one who is being bullied. I bet if a principal received many irate messages about their lack of action they might get off their backsides and stop it. It's not that hard, other heads of school won't tolerate bullying.

Aka Sat 23-Nov-13 22:44:58

Faye that says it all... What an incompetent nincompoop that HT was.

Tegan Sat 23-Nov-13 23:34:27

I was thinking about bullying today. Quite a few of us have said that we were bullied at school, and someone was talking about the school bully on the Dr Who programme last night [that's what got me thinking about it]. It occured to me that I've never heard anyone on forums/real life/on the telly etc etc say 'I was a bully'. Do bullies not know that they're bullies or don't they care about it confused.

Faye Sun 24-Nov-13 00:09:46

A teenage boy at the school my daughter teaches at told her he and others bullied another boy (not at this school) and the other child committed suicide. He was very upset when telling my daughter and it appears he will forever have the thought of what he did at the back of his mind for the rest of his life.

Flowerofthewest Sun 24-Nov-13 00:36:21

My DDS was the victim of relentless bullying from the age of 5 until 16. We changed schools as the head of his infant school took no responsibility at all. He settled into the new school and all was good until one of the boys from his former class joined his class and it started again. We were told it was because he was 'different' boff bashing was one term used. He was and is a delightful person. His dad is a professional naturalist and that was his interest and not football etc. This was held against him.

His senior school was no better. He did have a couple of 'friends' but they deserted him when the bullying became physical. At 16 I pulled him out (make no mistake we had been too a fro to both schools to sort this out but to no avail) I had read an article about a school for severely bullied children who want to learn but are afraid to go to mainstream school. I phone the school and they had a place coming up. It was the Red Balloon New Square Learner Centre in Cambridge. Held in a beautiful family home with 1:1 and 2:1 teaching. A University Professor who wished to remain anonymous funded him for the first 6 weeks until we managed to get funding from our LEA, we were out of County. He was there for two years and his confidence blossomed. He made life long friends who love and accepted his differences as he did with his peers. The school acts as a 'life support system' until the child is ready to go back to mainstream, college or work. They were taking a maximum of 12 children aged from 11 to 17 at the time now they have lowered the age to 8 or 9. Sorry if I have gone on a bit but the bullying aspect of anyone who is a bit different really affects me and touches me. On his second day there he said to me 'Mum, people like me' This broke my heart.

Flowerofthewest Sun 24-Nov-13 00:37:33

www.redballoonlearner.co.uk worth a look. They have opened other schools around the country.

Tegan Sun 24-Nov-13 00:47:24

I'm so glad that he found that school Flower. My son [who I always worried about] sailed through school [although there was an incident when he first started secondary school that resulted in a black eye. The following day my daughter went to lower school with a group of her male pals and hung around for a while with him and it never happened again]. I was bullied at school for being poor; my daughter was bullied at primary school for being pretty, clever and hard working; ditto her cousin and now her cousins daughter.I was once on the periphery of a bullying incident at my secondary school and, although I can't remember much about it I still feel ashamed that I did nothing to help.