Peaches Geldof

He was not a nice individual , IMO

Didn"t MH pride himself on getting "Good girls" to go "bad", look what happened with Kylie Minogue !

I'm not referring to Paulas overdose but the way she was, one minute the perfect mother and the next she leaves the family for Michael Hutchence [who was a wild man of rock even by rock standards].

OOPS , don"t know what happened there !

Trouble is , when you OD you hurt everyone around you !

Trouble is , when you OD you hurt everyone around you !

I agree with Tegan about the "vile pressure for women to be stick thin the minute they give birth". Yes, any young woman whose had 2 babies in as many years, demand fed, carried them with her all the time, is likely to be skinny and look exhausted. If she wasn't eating well during those years, she would have few physical (or emotional) resources. It's unbelievably sad, for her, and those who loved her.

I find it hard to point a finger of blame at either Paula Yates, or Bob Geldoff. They loved their children, got into a right mess in their private lives, and made mistakes. I don't expect anyone on gransnet hasn't made mistakes in their lives. Living out your life in the public eye must be so hard. Growing up in the public eye even harder. Bob Geldoff must feel broken, and as Ana said, I can't imaging Paul Yates mean to hurt anyone when she overdosed. I'm not sure it was an intentional overdose either.

To elaborate, I can understand that her mother's death must have affected Peaches badly, but I wouldn't have thought Paula meant to hurt anyone but herself when she took that fatal overdose.

What do you mean, Tegan, 'what her mother did to her'?

She did look terribly gaunt in that photo with her dog and she's not a naturally skinny person. Given that she appears to have been breast feeding the babies [on top of being almost permanently pregnant for 2 years] must have been a huge strain on her body. It seems to me that she was searching for something in her life and overcompensating in some ways to make amends for what her mother did to her. And this vile pressure for women to be stick thin the minute thay give birth [which is done by liposuction etc in many cases although the women involved don't admit to it].

I agree, Tegan. I felt terribly sad when Linda McCartney died even though I was furious when Paul married her and not Jane Asher who was my style icon.

I am wondering if an eating disorder will be found to be the cause of Peaches' death - Karen Carpenter springs to mind. There is so much talk about obesity being a time bomb but I am dismayed at the number of stick thin young women who quite cheerfully boast that they 'rarely eat'.

I feel like you, Tegan. Live Aid was a significant event in my life and since then I have felt that Bob Geldof's concern for his global neighbours warrants concern for him and his family. I don't know him or his family, but I think I share his values about children and helping each other. I don't think we need to be given every detail, but can't help wondering how Peaches' young life has ended so suddenly.

I have to be honest here and say that when an item comes on the news I have a sort of sliding scale of empathy; the more I relate to that person [or in the case of the Geldorf family as a whole] or feel that, by recognising their faces instantly I feel that I 'know' them in some way the sadder I feel. Especially if it's a situation I can imagine myself to be in. So, perhaps the empathy is actually more of a concern for me and mine but played out by someone else. I guess it's the dividing line between sympathy and empathy. I'm not explaining myself very well, am I? [because I don't really understand my own feelings]. Bob Geldorf created, with Live Aid [albeit with help from others] one of the stand out occasions of my life and therefore anything that happens to him and his feels more personal to me.

I was merely pointing out that another poster is not in a position to describe my feelings or thoughts. It's similar to those so-called news stories which begin "Everyone was watching…" or the whole world is waiting for…" or "we all want …". I resent someone else speaking randomly on my behalf. Heaven knows – and so do gransnetters – that I am perfectly capable of speaking for myself.

I have never said that I find it hard to empathise full stop, but I have said that I find it hard to empathise when I am looking at a situation of which I have absolutely no experience, as empathy involves not just understanding but also sharing someone else's feelings. I think the example I gave before was a friend whose child had been murdered by her partner who was executed in the United States about ten years later. I found that wholly beyond my emotional grasp.

I have never found it hard to sympathise with the bereaved and, indeed, do with the entire family of Peaches Geldof but, obviously, not in an intimate way.

Surely there isn't a set limit for empathy, or indeed sympathy?

yes, all of us may be governed or restricted by the amount of financial or even physical support/practical help/assistance that we are able to give to specific causes or events, but thinking of those affected and sending positive good wishes wouldn't/shouldn't be beyond limits?

There has already been a fair amount of discussion on GN about religious beliefs, plus some talk about other ways of using the power of thought, whether you believe in those or not, I don't think I'm speaking out of turn to suggest that who ever might be suffering, wherever they are and what type of suffering they may be undergoing, we can all spare the odd moment of good thoughts for them.

That was such a tragic story Ana

There was plenty of coverage where I live about the two doctors who lost their lives trying to save those children, and I must admit I was very affected by that story.

Peaches was the well-known daughter of a famous pop star and it's understandable the media would report her death. I'm more irritated by the assumption that we all want to know the details of the Pistorious trial - you can't get away from it!

Aka ((hug))

Yes Dragonfly another dreadful loss.We had more coverage in the Northwest as one woman was a consultant in the care of Mothers and Children at a local hospital and the other, a family member, was a GP.

Of course you feel empathy Aka it must bring back what you as a family went through,and we must have sympathy for anyone going through loss of a loved one whatever age they are.

I do think it's quite sad that on the same day, two mothers drowned trying to rescue their young children who'd been swept out to sea - on holiday, I believe, and yet their tragic deaths merited only a mention half way through the news that night.

You have said before Absent that you find it hard to empathise.

By contrast I feel so much for Bob Geldolf and understand what he meant when he said he was 'beyond pain'.

You sounded just like someone else there, absent. Of course we can have compassion for other situations/people/tragic occurrences all at the same time!

Exactly. You can't just cut one situation off because there's another one.

Can we not have sympathy in both those situations absent?