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Girls locked in their bedroom every night.....

(109 Posts)
Mishap Tue 21-Apr-15 17:44:07

.......under a court order to protect them from their mother's paedophile partner.

Clearly we do not know all the facts of the case, so should not really comment, but I cannot help thinking that the fire hazard here is very serious.

The 2 girls have some sort of monitor device via which they can communicate their need to go to the toilet during the night.

rosequartz Tue 21-Apr-15 19:49:06

I am amazed at the response of some Gransnetters.

Would they be so complacent if it was their grandchildren who were in this situation? I think not. angry and sad

phoenix have sent you a pm

Stansgran Tue 21-Apr-15 19:51:50

He's only biding his time isn't he? The things some women will do for sex or a live in bloke.makes you ashamed of being female.

Anne58 Tue 21-Apr-15 19:52:49

Thankyou Ana

I tried to post truthfully without actually using the proper names of those concerned, but if it gets taken down, so be it.

We live in a cul de sac of 7 houses, the family concerned lived next door but one in a Housing Association property. My DS & Daughter inlaw were thinking about is as a "swap" as tenants of HA property can do this, but they were pipped at the post by another family looking to move from "up country" as they have elderly relatives living in the area.

rosequartz Tue 21-Apr-15 19:53:14

We are not all like that thank goodness Stansgran.

Although I wonder if some women sometimes are completely oblivious or 'turn a blind eye'.

loopylou Tue 21-Apr-15 20:02:04

Or think he's 'changed'?
This thread has really made me want to cry with tears of frustration and such sadness for those children sad

Words fail me......

AshTree Tue 21-Apr-15 20:24:16

I saw this on the local news, and I could not believe what I was hearing. It is probably the worst possible situation for those girls. I simply cannot understand how any human being, let alone their mother could knowingly put them at risk in this way, putting her needs / desires / lust, whatever, above their safety.
This story is one of the saddest I've heard in a long while. It breaks my heart to think of those two poor little girls.

rosequartz Tue 21-Apr-15 20:31:17

Little girls need to be protected, but to invite such potential danger into your home is criminal.

Little girls also need to lead carefree, happy lives without fear from sexual predators. Sadly, some do not because perhaps no-one is aware of the danger they are in, but in this case social workers are well aware of the danger and imo are being negligent in their approach to this.

rosequartz Tue 21-Apr-15 20:32:39

I should add 'little boys' too, but I was referring to this case in particular.

whenim64 Tue 21-Apr-15 20:32:50

....and how is this arrangement supposed to contribute to enabling the child he abused to recover from what he did to her? Doesn't exactly convey the message that her account of the abuse was believed, so other children should be protected from him, when she is aware that he is being allowed to have close supervised contact with more girls in his target range. Unlikely to help her to feel more secure and safe from him, either, if he can persuade the authorities to let him do this.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 21-Apr-15 21:42:51

I wonder why the girls' father doesn't have his daughters living with him. Maybe we don't know enough. I wonder if the girls have been asked what they want. I think they probably have been, and want to stay with their mum and this man. Maybe we have to trust the social workers and other professionals involved?

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 21-Apr-15 21:45:40

I don't think a teaching assistant should have been talking to a membRe of the public about the family's situation. That is terrible.

Sorry phoenix.

petallus Tue 21-Apr-15 22:12:54

One thing is for sure, all this publicity and moral outrage isn't going to help the children.

soontobe Tue 21-Apr-15 22:20:32

What if the situation changes, petallus?

Mishap Tue 21-Apr-15 22:24:08

From what I heard on the radio this was a plan that was organised by a whole team of people and endorsed by the court.

I have long felt that social workers dealing with child abuse should only do so for a period of a few years and then move on to a different branch of SW. I really do believe that it is impossible to remain objective and sane in that profession for an extended time. The sort of distorted thinking that results in the plan that has been put together is a prime example.

Clearly the overwhelming consideration here was an attempt to keep these girls with their mother - but that mother was acting irresponsibly and neglecting the needs of her children by bringing this man into the house. Whilst I would endorse that where possible all attempts should be made to keep children and natural parents together where possible, sometimes this clouds judgement. Whatever had been decided for these girls would have fallen far short the ideal; but this arrangement does appear to be out of order. This man is clearly seen as a danger to the girls - hence the locking in the bedroom. There is no way that this can be safely monitored; or that it can be acceptable for those girls.

I do not blame the grandmother for blowing the gaffe on this - she must have felt completely powerless and so very worried.

Ana Tue 21-Apr-15 22:24:26

Do you really think that these two very young girls should have been asked whether they wanted to be locked into their bedroom every night, just so they could stay with their mum (and her paedophile husband) jingl?

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 21-Apr-15 22:25:24

You can't blame people for the moral outrage. It's a weird situation.

Perhaps the authorities have decided this is the way to make the best of a bad job.

Ana Tue 21-Apr-15 22:26:00

x posts Mishap.

soontobe Tue 21-Apr-15 22:31:23

Foster care is worse jingl?

merlotgran Tue 21-Apr-15 22:32:58

How on earth can these poor girls lead a normal life while all this is going on? Do we know their ages?

The situation is beyond bizarre. What time of night does the door get locked? When are they allowed out in the morning?

They won't be able to indulge in normal activities for schoolchildren like having sleep-overs.

I just don't understand how a mother could put her children through such turmoil.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 21-Apr-15 22:41:01

Just says they are under thirteen. No, there won't be anything normal in their lives.

soon I don't know if foster care would be better. That too, could be traumatic.

It's all very odd.

Ana Tue 21-Apr-15 22:45:42

It's not just odd, it's abnormal and unjustifiable. IMO.

soontobe Tue 21-Apr-15 22:49:47

Hands up who wants to live with a convicted peadophile?

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 21-Apr-15 23:05:07

Wonder why it'S only been reported by red-tops. Perhaps we will hear more in coming days. I will listen to the item on PM when it's up.

Nelliemoser Tue 21-Apr-15 23:32:55

Phoenix That is information which gives a clearer picture but we probably should not know about this.

However I worry for the privacy of the children if a school assistant is such a loose cannon, what else is she going to say.

The ITV news comment was certainly less sensationalised than the Daily Mirror.

What were the courts thinking of though! They are the final arbiters of these issues.

nightowl Tue 21-Apr-15 23:39:19

There doesn't seem to be any need to think about foster care. The girls have a father and a grandmother who are concerned about them. Either of them should be considered to care for them before fostering becomes an option. I can't see anything positive about this arrangement, or anything to justify it. It sounds completely mad to me.