Gransnet forums

News & politics

What a difficult decision to make.

(105 Posts)
NanKate Tue 26-May-15 11:49:30

Businessman Jeffrey Spector went with his family recently to Dignitas in Switzerland to end his life.

He had an inoperable tumour on his spine which would leave him paralysed from the neck down.

He had survived for 6 years but had recently gone into a decline and made the decision that this was the time to go. His brave family supported him.

How desperately sad. I admire him for this courage. RIP. flowers

rosesarered Wed 27-May-15 16:50:17

Agree with others, what Shipman did frightened other doctors from ever helping anyone with morphine (increased dosage.)Him and some nurses who turned whistleblower about morphine dosage in hospitals.

Anya Wed 27-May-15 16:59:56

Good point pompa and well put smile

thatbags Wed 27-May-15 17:20:03

No need to feel inferior, pompa. I daresay I didn't know the difference until I read more about it. My comment was not said in a tone of pedantry; it was simply to point out what is, in fact, a fundamental difference between the two things and, since it's death and dying we're talking about, to clarify an important distinction on a sensitive subject.

Some people (not you, obviously) use the term euthanasia deliberately when they mean assisted dying. That, I feel, is an unfair tactic. I wished to forestall that happening here.

No-one need take my comment about the distinction of meanings personally. It was not a personal comment but a general one.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 27-May-15 17:22:28

Eighteen posters so far on this thread. Out of how many members now? I wonder if people are too nervous to put their heads above the parapet on contentious threads.

Anya Wed 27-May-15 17:29:58

It does seem to fall to the same people to get their heads shot off, to continue the analogy. But that's why there are other threads, less contentious. Horses for courses as it were?

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 27-May-15 17:31:06

People need to be braver.

Anya Wed 27-May-15 17:31:34

Or they have a life beyond GN?

whitewave Wed 27-May-15 17:31:49

This is one area that I think we should hold a referendum - it is not something that government should get involved.

Anya Wed 27-May-15 17:32:15

GN is a very scary place sometimes.

Anya Wed 27-May-15 17:33:06

So who organises the referendum? hmm

pompa Wed 27-May-15 17:34:47

This thread doesn't actually seem that contentious. most posters seem in favour or sympathetic with assisted dying in the case in the OP.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 27-May-15 17:38:53

We all have a "life beyond Gransnet", don't we? Isn't GN just a small diversion in the course of a day?

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 27-May-15 17:40:21

I don't understand comment about referendum

BTW, I am here whilst DD cooks my dinner. Big smile

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 27-May-15 17:41:15

Sorry. Didn't see *whitewave's post there.

Ana Wed 27-May-15 17:44:00

I didn't think the thread was contentious, either. Just a bit of a difference of opinion as to the comparison with capital punishment earlier on, that's all.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 27-May-15 17:47:19

Ah yes. Just me made someone slightly angry.

I think it is a contentious subject in the country as a whole. Odd that it doesn't seem to be on here.

Ariadne Wed 27-May-15 17:48:28

No, not a contentious thread. This is a topic which affects us all, and to which we need to give much thought. Rather than suffer the terrible indignities which are possible when treatment no longer works, assisted dying seems to be a sensible solution.

It is interesting to read the pots from those whose relatives took the decision into their own hands in various ways. One can only hope to have the strength of mind, even courage, to carry that out.

Ana Wed 27-May-15 17:55:38

It could take quite a while to die by not eating or drinking, though, and it can't be pleasant. That's why we should be able to request an alternative method.

loopylou Wed 27-May-15 18:00:42

It isn't contentious, it's something probably some of us will face at sometime and it needs changing.

I've sadly experienced friends and family who have had very different approaches to facing a terminal illness and making decisions on their end of life care. Luckily most have had a peaceful death but for one very dear friend (age 44) who wanted to approach Dignitas, this was prevented by her family whose reaction was very hard for her to deal with.

If there was a similar option here I believe that attitudes would change; for some opposers it's because they don't understand the concept or overreact saying it's 'euthanasia' which it categorically isn't. The fear of the unknown and false information feeds these fears too.

granjura Wed 27-May-15 18:12:47

Thank you Iam64 (so amI btw)...

Dignitas in Switzerland is solely for the use of foreigners. Their premises used to be in an ordinary house in an ordinary house estate- but after complaints- they had to move to a purpose built place on an industrial estate. So so sad.

I feel so privileged and relieved to know, that as an EXIT member here in Switzerland, should I ever find myself in a situation where all hope is lost- and the only prospect left is that of a lengthy period of emotional and physical agony ... however good paliative care available is... I and I alone, will be able to make that choice, and will be supported in this by very sensistive and experienced volunteers- in my home, in my garden... with my favourite music on. And hopefully, it won't come to that- and my death will be quick and painless- sadly though, it is not always so.

People say we should never worry about being a burden- but why not. I want my daughters to have a good life, enjoy their work and their children and partners- and I would actually like to leave them a few £ or even CHF when I go- and why not. I would just hate them to have their prime years ruined by my misery and see what I worked hard to leave for them, just melt by my miserable bedsite.

I am a fighter and would fight any disease like crazy and with all my might- but if the time comes when the fight is clearly out- I want out- and nobody has any right to tell me that choice is not mine. Nobody. Merci.

Those who want to make a different choice are welcome to it- why can't they let he have mine???

NanKate Wed 27-May-15 19:53:05

We'll put Granjura.

A friend who was seriously ill (and now recovered) told me that she stopped eating, not because she wanted to hasten her death but because she couldn't face eating. She said she had no hunger pains at all, so perhaps for some going without food is not too bad.

I heard Bear Grylls say on the tv a human can go without air for 3 minutes, water 3 days and food 3 weeks.

Ana Wed 27-May-15 20:02:41

That may well be, NanKate, but I'd still rather be allowed to choose a safe and reliable way to die.

loopylou Wed 27-May-15 20:08:26

Very well said GranJura, if only that choice were here.

Riverwalk Wed 27-May-15 20:11:17

Bear Grylls, whoever he is, is quite wrong.

In my recent personal experience, as an end of life nurse, humans in a domestic situation can go for two weeks without water.

Fact.

granjura Wed 27-May-15 21:22:48

Forgotten to say as well, that with an NHS under so much stress, where so many children and young people, parents with young children who depend on them and with their life ahead of them, are not getting the treatment they need or deserve- spending billions on keeping end of life elderly people who do NOT wish to live- seems crazy. Paliative care takes a massive amount of resources and hours of nursing- that could be much much better used elsewhere. Now if you want to pay much higher taxes to insure all get the proper care they deserve, and the terminally sick to be given the best palliative care for ever and more- than fine. As long as I don't have to endure that 'care' when I don't want it.

In Leicestershire we have a wonderful Hopice called Loros- they do a splendid job with paliative care- paid by .... charity. Several friends died there, and they and family were very grateful. If this is what we want (and sorry I personally do NOT) then surely we the tax payers should pay for it- and not rely on charity.