Should prostitution be legalised

Elayne. I assume you saw the programme as you know it was advertised as a 'sauna' parlour. The lady who owned 'the sauna' explained that what went on in the rooms was up to the girls.

I definitely feel that pimps and drug pushers should be prosecuted but of course we have very little police force capability to do that now. There have always been and there always will be prostitutes or sex workers as they prefer to be called and there will always be a market for their services. For some lonely people its their only route to sexual activity and others have various needs or preferences that we may not understand or agree with. Its a service that's all. Not all of us have the great good fortune to have a single long lasting relationship that includes satisfactory sexual activity and we shouldn't be judging other people who don't.

If its safer and leads to the eradication of young trafficked girls being forced into it then why not? Its the pimps and to an extent the sort of men who look to buy sex that I don't like. If it was legalised would it lead to an increase in the grooming of vulnerable girls as in the Rotherham situation and elsewhere? Are there racial/religious issues too? I mean most of those men arrested in Rotherham and elsewhere were of Pakistani/Muslim backgrounds. They appear to be fiercely protective of their females making them cover themselves etc etc so seek available sex where they can find it by exploiting these very young British girls. I apologise I don't mean to be racist this is a genuine thought and I suppose there's been too much "elephant in the room" stuff going on already. What do people think?

Prositution is legal , I wish more was done to keep prostitutes safe though.

As for an itch which has to be scratched ? Yes, it is for many men and women . Can't agree with sanctifying sex, doesn't sound fun does it ? Surely sex can be fun, comforting , passionate, tender, lights on/off, bed, floor, car or field or brothel

Some visit prostitutes for the comfort of being close to another human being, some because they just want sex, and there are some who are into kinky sex.

Some prostitutes are victims but not all , I just wish we did have legalised brothels with protection for the women / girls

I do wonder about those men visiting brothels where young trafficked girls are forced to work. Don't they notice? Don't they see that the girls are desperately unhappy? What's wrong with them? Do they leave their humanity on the doorstep?

Jane 10, what of fathers with their daughters ? Far more common than we want to speak of

I had a prostitute rent one of my flats. I didn't know until after she left.
She rented from me for 6 years and in all that time the flat was kept immaculate. Not like some of the pond life I rented to.
I moved back into the flat after she left. My friends and I had many a laugh about my bedroom.

vampirequeen No man takes my earnings I am an indepenant escort, thank you for your comment.
Alea there is a difference between a brothel and a sauna, if you do not understand the industry do not comment on it

Good on you Elayne. Anniebach I quite agree on the topic of incestuous abuse. What is it with these men? How can they think its somehow OK? I despair sometimes.

I don't think incestuous men do think it's okay.

But still they do it. What's wrong with them!

Petra, if only your bedroom could talk eh? what tales it could tell.

I would never condone trafficked, young or foreign young girls working as I have witnessed these poor girls being "pimped" by their own so called boyfriends. If I could do anything to change there situation I would, but unfortunately I am only one person. I have witnessed many years ago a young girl dropped off to the premises with a bottle of water, one cigarette and a packet of super noodles to to a 24 hour shift.
It is a very sad life if you are forced into the business, but a lot of mature ladies know what they are getting into.
I will not go into some of the scenarios men require. I do have morals and some things turn my stomach.

Petra that was a sauna I AM A PROSTITUTE - WORKING LADY - does anyone mind

Please don't insult my intelligence Elayne, of course I know there is a difference. The point was that this was a brothel, NOT A SAUNA.

For the sake of sauna users everywhere who are not frequenting brothels, the distinction should be obvious, perhaps it was not to you?
And I consider myself free to comment whenever and however I like.

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Of course copulation as a protitute is simply a physical act and nothing to do with the intensity of emotion between partners. Which of course at the end of the day will prove totally unsatisfactory if you are looking for the second with a prostitute.
I remembrr reading once that to have sex with someone who has many acts of sex with numerous people is like having sex with all those people and you run the risk therefore of all the Health problems of these individuals as well. Yuk!!!!!

I have mixed feelings about this issue. I don't believe it is an occupation that many women (or men) would embark on unless they needed to earn a lot of money, for whatever reason, or they were vulnerable and had been duped by a "boyfriend" to get involved in prostitution or had experienced sexual abuse within the family or elsewhere. I expect for some women and men it is a free and rational choice but I suspect they are in the minority - and I believe research has demonstrated this.

I don't like the idea that if certain elements of prostitution were to be decriminalised - such as brothels and soliciting - it would increase the tax take, which somehow makes it more acceptable. I do, however, think that brothels should be decriminalised because they provide a safer working environment.

I don't see sex as somehow "sacred" but I feel that the introduction of monetary value into a sexual encounter that should in my view be freely entered into by both parties for reasons of comfort and enjoyment and in an environment of mutual respect militates against true intimacy and care for another human being. I do realise that this lack of care and respect can occur in other non-prostitution scenarios but I feel that a commercial arrangement increases the likelihood of a woman - or a man - being treated as a means to an end rather than as a person.

My mixed feelings come perhaps from understanding that certain people, such as those who are seriously disabled, may find it very difficult to find a sexual partner. I'm not sure what the answer.

Well I believe its quite possible for a worker in the sex industry to form a relationship with a service user and for that person to become quite fond of the service provider. Also I don't believe that these service users are exclusively men. I would rather have one of these sex workers as a genuine friend than some of the crashing social snobs I meet on the golf course.

Out of order Elayne.

My word, this forum does attract some unpleasant people, doesn't it?

way out of order Elayne, and reported.

Eloethan, been trying to formulate a reply- and I think you've done it for me and much better, thanks.

I feel very ambivalent ont his. Fact is, although there are some independent escorts who are their own bosses and in control- most prostitutes are doing it for all the wrong reasons, exploited by pimps, etc. And more and more are young, far too young- and really at risk in so many ways. Legalising brothels would not solve that problem, as men who are 'hungry' for young blood will go and get it elsewhere anyhow.

When DD1 was at uni, she knew 2 students who prostituted themselves to pay for luxury items and holidays- getting a lot of money for very few hours- whilst others had to work in shops or pubs to make ends meet. She felt it was truly unfair as the girls used to laugh at those who worked for the minimum wage in pub or shop work- saying they were 'stupid'.

I don't know anyone who would be happy to be a prostitute, here, there or anywhere, and of any age, and huge variety of cultures and background - and can't imagine what has happened in womens' lives to make them choose prostitution.

As a grand-mother, what do you say to your teenage grandchildren when they find out? Encourage them to do the same?? Would you wish that on them? Perhaps you do.

Jane10
Re your earlier post. Sat 08-Aug-15 09:53:59
Asian girls are also targeted by Asian men and are more likely to be victimised by their families afterwards.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/02/rotherham-muslims-victims-sexual-abuse-vulnerable-girls-muslim-communities
This is the text

‘Ruzwana Bashir bravely came forward about her own experiences of abuse in the Pakistani community, and the cultural issues that have contributed to the idea of shame around those who come forward.’

It’s tiring work being a Muslim in the UK today. If we aren’t being asked to defend the actions of extremists, we are distancing ourselves from the “Asian gangs” who are preying on vulnerable white girls to sexually exploit. The report on the extent of sexual abuse in Rotherham, and the failure of the authorities to protect the young girls they were responsible for is yet another story that has been blamed on failures of “multiculturalism” in the UK. Sensationalist news stories cry out that Asian men target young white girls due to unresolvable “cultural issues” or “unhappy marriages”, or simply because of a lack of respect for white, British girls.

The truth is that Muslims have also been silent victims of sexual abuse. Alexis Jay’s report last week raised a number of concerning points regarding the sexual abuse victims of Pakistani heritage, stating that: “The Board should address as a priority the under-reporting of exploitation and abuse in minority ethnic communities.” She went on to conclude that “one of these myths was that only white girls are victims of sexual exploitation by Asian or Muslim males, as if these men only abuse outside of their own community, driven by hatred and contempt for white females. This belief flies in the face of evidence that shows that those who violate children are most likely to target those who are closest to them and most easily accessible.”
Advertisement

Ruzwana Bashir bravely came forward on the weekend about her own experiences of abuse in the Pakistani community, and the cultural issues that have contributed to the idea of shame around those who come forward. This shame is not just restricted to Pakistani culture. I grew up as part of a mixed Muslim community made up of people from many different backgrounds. First-hand accounts from young girls who had been groomed by older men online or at school were not unusual. Girls as young as 13 or 14 were being targeted by those who played on their vulnerabilities. Because many of these girls were already hiding some of what they were doing from their parents, it was difficult for them to speak out when things escalated out of hand.

One girl of Moroccan descent, aged 14, lied to her parents so that she could go for dinner with someone she had met online. He was 21. She felt she couldn’t tell anyone afterwards that she had been raped. As teenagers, we became aware that some younger guys were being recruited by much older men in London who would send them out to find “nice young Muslim girls”, preferably virgins.

The UK Muslim Women’s Network published a report in September 2013 that looked into cases of sexual exploitation of Asian girls and women. It highlighted that they were most vulnerable to men from their own communities who were conscious of cultural norms, using them to manipulate victims into not reporting their abuse. Although based on a small study of 35 cases, the report warned that girls, from mostly Pakistani Muslim backgrounds, were “not being made aware of the predatory nature of some men and boys, and the consequences of being lured by them – they are not being adequately warned in order to safeguard themselves”.

It also said that consequently “most victims had not received or been supported by long-term aftercare and when the family became aware of any abuse they re-victimised them, which meant not believing them, blaming them, forcing them into a marriage, forcing them to leave the family home and in one case forcing the victim to have hymen repair surgery prior to a forced marriage”.

Of course, sexual abuse is not inherent in Islam. It should also be pointed out that this is a problem that needs to be tackled by the community, not a feature that defines it. However, the importance given to reputation, public image and taboo makes it difficult to access and support girls living in some Muslim communities. When authorities are failing girls without these complications, there is little hope for those who fear the response of their families or communities.

There was a feeling among my friends that the charities that dealt with child abuse wouldn’t know how to deal with the complexities of the situations facing children from ethnic minorities. Whether true or not, this image needs to change. More women from ethnic minority communities involved in establishing lines of communication for girls who otherwise remain voiceless would help, as would education for girls about the risks they face, how they can protect themselves and who is available to support them. Schools need to deal with the uncomfortable issues that have been ignored for so long, letting girls know they have the same rights and protection as any other person, regardless of their gender, ethnicity or religion.

@Granjura - While I have never availed myself of the services, I have known one or two sex workers, and I can tell you that some are very happy with their lot. An example: One girl had been lucky enough to find a well-heeled boy-friend, who was paying for her young son's school fees among other things. A sugar-daddy...

Then I overheard her on the telephone, obviously talking to a prospective client. "What are you doing?" I asked her, since she was risking losing her friend and the fringe benefits... She sighed. "I know" she said, "but I just missed being under a client...." That is word for word...

^Add comment | Report | Private message Elayne Sat 08-Aug-15 13:49:58
Alea please get a life or give hubby some money to go to a brothel to relieve himself^

Not trying to drum up business I hope?