Most countries in the Middle East are run by completely undemocratic authoritarian regimes. Saudi Arabia (and several other kingdoms) is ruled by its royal family and the treatment of other than its own citizens is appalling (even its own citizens, particularly women, don't have a great time). To place groups of Syrians into an Arab environment may be very unwise as the religious/cultural beliefs and practices of each group may be completely alien and unacceptable. Also, since Saudi Arabia and some other Arab countries are suspected of supporting ISIS, for the majority of Syrians it would likely be a case of out of the frying pan into the fire.
Though, apparently, the UK government has allocated money for, presumably, the construction and upkeep of the refugee camps on the Syrian borders, I guess many Syrians would be reluctant to go to such camps for fear of remaining there indefinitely. Poorer countries have no option but to house refugees in very basic camps and, due to lack of resources, these refugees may spend a lifetime there. Rich countries subsidising such refugee camps seems to me to be very much a case of "out of sight, out of mind".
Young men are not immune to bombs being dropped on them or being attacked by fundamentalists groups or being conscripted into an army on behalf of a government or religious faction with which they disagree. They may disagree with all "sides" and not wish to fight - and I don't blame them. Although I agree that families with young children should be prioritised, are young men not entitled to seek safety elsewhere?
I find the implication that lots of people who are fleeing their countries are somehow "working the system" very unpleasant. If they are reasonably well dressed or can afford to pay for transport/train tickets, etc., their authenticity is immediately called into question. But money can't save you from being bombed, massacred or of being unable to access food and water because your country is in absolute chaos.
Jane10 Using terms like "the red grans" is, in my opinion, unnecessarily provocative and just plain childish.