Switzerland ranked best place to grow older - where is UK?

granjura, You are talking as though you were standing behind me as I settled Mum into her excellent nursing home after her funds had run out. Please don't accuse me of denying something that wasn't happening.

There was no segregation so I have no need to deny it.

There are good and bad care homes - we all know that.

Granjura said she never said there were not excellent nursing homes for people who have to rely on funding from the NHS. However, there were homes that I've been visiting, with my mother, father. mother in law and aunt, which have left a lot to be desired.
My sister and I complained about one that both our mother and father had been in. After two years we were told that the original complaint had been dealt with and that all we were complaining about was the way they had dealt with the complaint, which was not true.

Granjura's husband was a GP and must have gone into lots of homes.

I used to visit a lot of care homes for work and the variance is huge. I would not have put my dog in some of them! My aunt is in a highly rated home but she is still a very bright lady who is surrounded by people who simply gaze at telly or sleep all day. She is quite immobile but she is aging faster due to lack of stimulation and conversation . I would visit every day if she was not three hours away. I dread the thought of ever being in a home so if the kids can't look after me I will be taking the short trip to Switzerland!

It isn't really anything to do with any of the measurable stuff though, is it? It's Britain, with all its good and bad bits, that is home. I might be a stick in the mud, but I would hate to leave my home country - it's where my family, friends and 'history' are and I'm staying put.

With respect Durhamjen,, I think GJ did imply that care homes in the UK were very different depending on State or Private funding
Very few I believe will state that being better-off does not make a huge difference however. When my mil run out of funds, and her condition got worse with Alzehimers- visiting state care homes that would take her was truly shocking and heart-braking- come on- you know that! And as said, those who are well off and can afford more expensive homes with high number of quality carers and all mod cons, are segregated from those who do not. Again, I cannot understand why you are denying this.

That may well be her personal experience, but my objection was to the assumption that those of us living in the UK have no idea ("I do wonder how many care homes some of you have visited in the UK?")

I would also contend that one's DH's career makes little difference, my DH was a CA and in that capacity no doubt audited hundreds of companies - I have never visited any of them. I was a secondary teacher and DH had very little idea of half of what went on in some of those comprehensives!!

Oh, I am surprised to read that France is not higher up, the healthcare is fabulous (I do live near Montpellier though), the standard of living higher than in the UK, and we do have sunshine for a great part of the year. I certainly would not want to go back to the UK. Found it surprising as well that Switzerland, Denmark and Sweden are rated so high considering their cost of living.

My husband was an architect who designed care homes and sheltered housing, and refurbished alms houses. I went to see all of them, and went round them when they were finished.
Some of them I know I would have been happy in. Some of the companies he designed for took more care and put more thought into the design. Others were just concerned with the bottom line.

I was a secondary school teacher as well. My husband was always welcome in all the schools I taught in, and would talk as an equal, and ask questions of any of the staff I worked with. He was a governor at two of them, so should have known what went on in them.

At my Mum's home there are people who pay the full fees of around £1,000 per week as Mum did for a couple of years, some who are part funded (assessed on ability to pay as Mum is now) and some who are fully funded due to their medical conditions. They are all treated equally, the staff are lovely and treat the residents with respect.

DH actually currently goes to most of the homes in Leicestershire and has done for 15 years or so. He finds that there are good, bad and indifferent ones regardless of the 'type' of resident. There are very few, if any, Council run ones left.

Well, DJ we are all different. Frankly I would not have had time with my commitments, including 3 DDs and a demanding career, to travel the country visiting companies etc whose accounts DH's firm were auditing and he was unlikely to be free to sit in the Staffroom during an average school day in term time! Doesn't mean neither of us took an interest though.

Exactly, Alea. You gave examples of you and your husband; I gave examples of me and my husband.
I know things about homes that you do not know, and I think Granjura does, too. It does not invalidate what we say.

What I, learned, in retrospect was that you have to understand the codes that are used in care homes. The one I chose for my aunt was a bright , modern and clean building on 3 floors. Ground floor for the most independent and able bodied, middle floor for those needing a level of care and top (locked) for those needing a lot of care (usually people with Alzheimer/senility)

I was told by the manager that they respected the choices of residents etc etc and they could choose to stay in their rooms or join in with social activities, eat communally etc. That, on the surface sounded OK!

They knew my aunt had suffered from depression and occasional delusions but was on medication that kept her stable and on the ball. They respected her 'right' not to take the medicine, she deteriorated and eventually took to her bed (her choice) and started to withdraw and stopped eating (her choice). The home had a doctor (not my aunt's previous GP) who appeared to collude with this regime. I did challenge this as her regular visitor but I was not next of kin so could not direct any action...the next of kin lived too far away to be regular visitors. Basically she starved herself to death and paid highly, through the fees, for the privilege

Do you DJ?
I have made no claims about my experience of care homes other than to say my parents, and in laws did not end their days in one.
My point was not principally about myself but about the apparent dismissal of Gransnetters in general as being unaware of conditions in UK care homes. I think kittylester, merlot and Seasider among others have shown that they very much know what they are talking about. I wait for Granjura- to explain in what capacity she personally visited hundreds of care homes.

It seems to me that it is possible to see a nit and resist the temptation to pick.

marionk
Am surprised to hear that lots of people retire to Australia, it is majorly expensive to do so, you need to prove you have enough money to pay for your health care etc before they will let you stay

One of the reasons why we are still in the UK
And the climate, which may not be ideal in the UK but does not have such extremes of heat.

I think people need to look at the data for individual countries before they draw conclusions or make sweeping generalisations.
I gave the example up thread about France coming lower down in the overall rankings because of the employment and educational opportunities available to older French people. That is hardly relevant to people who choose to move there for retirement, is it? Nothing to do with sunshine or lack of it.
Some people would choose never to leave the UK. Others would. Some have their families in the UK. Others don't.
We all make our own decisions based on our own circumstances. Seems fine to me.

I have little experience of care homes as my extended family took care of our elderly relatives ourselves over several generations. Mr absent and I looked after my mother, starting exactly four months after we got married. My main experience was respite care when I wanted to travel to New Zealand to see my daughter. The first time, I viewed one absolutely fabulous place that resembled a four- or five-star hotel. I was told that that was where she would be staying and, as my mother still thought of care homes as being tantamount to the poor house, I could reassure her. The day she was due to go there, no one turned up to collect her and after repeated, increasingly anxious phone calls (we were booked on an international flight that afternoon), I was told that she was going elsewhere. The poor love told me that she felt like a parcel!

Elsewhere turned out to be hideous and the day I arrived back from New Zealand after visiting my daughter for three weeks, my mother was in the process of being admitted to hospital with MRSA. Fortunately, the home has since been shut down and bulldozed.

Later respite care, organised in a permanent care home two or three times, proved to be a lot better, although I noticed that it became more basic over the years.

When my mother finally became totally incontinent and was clearly suffering from dementia I agreed that she needed to go into a care home as Mr absent and I simply could not manage 24-hour care. I think I was unlucky with the social worker who was supposed to be organising this as all she seemed to do was press me for financial details ?? I did not have power of attorney ?? and suggest, in spite of my request for somewhere I could visit daily, care homes that were three to four hours travelling distance.

My mum went (temporarily) to a sort of halfway house where the staff were indescribably kind and sensitive. She eventually, aged 92, turned her face to the wall and didn't want to eat, drink ?? or live.

She died in 2003 and perhaps things have changed. I no longer live in the UK so I don't really know, but I have to say that the system doesn't seem properly joined up and the standards are far from universal, so far as my experience goes.

BTW Then ?? I have no idea about now ?? respite care was provided free so an ability to pay had nothing to do with anything.

Return to the last century + before:Whereas prosperity doth best discover vice; adversity doth best discover virtue (Alexander Pope)

Quite

I have not been to this page / place to check out how long I have left ! But knowing most of you are well below my step on life's ladder !! It's sort of scary, though I know my paternal gm lived till gone 80 yrs and maternal gm late 70 s !
My time is nearly up !!! Anyone out there willing to help me get my life in order ??
I love the sunny south of USA , easy going , suburb cupboard space and garages for hobbies; they only clean windows once a year , yet on the whole do not use net curtains, blue skies and clean air! And their sales are fantastic!!! More likely half price ! Also people are caring , because I walk to shops nearby, I am asked by drivers do I need a lift? Am I lost ? They don't know me from Adam!
In stores its the same happy to serve you, help you !
In fact while shopping in the store sale with my USA daughter, used shop loo, but stupidly put my new mobile down on small shelf, then left without it !! Twenty mins later I realised ! Went back it was gone !! Oh yes how could I be so stupid , who wouldn't take a mobile in these tight times!!!
But my DD took me to the nearest cashier desk, and asked had it been handed in??
Well some very nice honest person had done so!!! I was even more shocked by this and felt faint ! No name or contact no: I am so grateful to that person, as it is my replacement ears! I can be reached or I can contact family in particular by text only !! I am almost totally deaf now !
But things I don't like so much...everyone travels even short distance by car or such, it gets dark every evening around 7pm. All year! Air conditioning is nescary but very noisy !
This I would miss ... Eating out at local pub or going all dressed up to nice restaurant! Out parks , woods, history, and choice of shows, our cuppa, bacon, English biscuits and cake !!!
I have dreamt of Cornwall or Devon , maybe Dorset? Spain Italy I love it there !
But more than had my offspring live in Kent, or near Sussex border , then in USA a third !!!!!
How does one choose , a granny flat might be the answer? I adore being with my family!!!!!!!