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Working mothers

(132 Posts)
vampirequeen Sun 13-Nov-16 10:40:31

OK before I start this thread I want to make it very clear that I'm not talking about single mothers or mothers who need to work to make ends meet. My mam worked when I was a child and I worked when my girls were still children. I know that some mothers have to work to put food on the table and/or pay the mortgage/rent. So before anyone answers please be aware that I am not criticising mothers who have no choice but to work.

The news today reported that it's been suggested that there should be cash aid to help pay for childcare and employers should be more adaptable to cater for the needs of working mothers. According to the report this is so that women don't lose out on promotion or the chance to earn more. Let's be honest most working mothers don't have that sort of job. They're the cleaners, shop workers, factory workers and clerical staff of this country. So we're being asked to fund the high flyers.

Apart from those in the first paragraph why do mothers work? Being a mother is the most important job in the world. If you want a career then think carefully about having children. If you decide to have children be aware that childcare needs to be taken into the financial situation. Don't complain about the cost of childcare or the problems of juggling career and children. Don't expect employers to change working hours or expectations to suit you (except sick children but then your husband should have to take the care role too).

SueDonim Thu 17-Nov-16 18:30:35

Who are these mothers, Vampirequeen? Are they a pressure group? I haven't seen anything about them in the news so can you tell me their name?

daphnedill Thu 17-Nov-16 19:03:54

I'd like to know who they are too, because I haven't been able to find any link to the OP.

It depends what you mean by 'affording' to stay at home. Parents/families above quite a low threshold don't get any support to go to work. For many, the short-term financial benefits of going to work are marginal because of high childcare costs.

In any case, there's more than being able to afford to stay at home. It's about women having equal opportunities, rights and responsibilities and being in a position to support themselves and their children. Nobody would even query whether men should work continuously.

daphnedill Thu 17-Nov-16 19:15:42

I also think some of the posts directed at working mothers have been downright offensive. I don't feel guilty about returning to work and putting my children into a nursery, because I have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Anti-abortionists use the same tactics. My children were happy children and have turned into happy, confident, well-balanced young adults.

I respect people's right to stay at home with young children if they want and it's financially viable, but I do object when those same people tell others how virtuous they were and then lecture others with different priorities. I've never been an extremist feminist, but I think I might be heading in that direction hmm. It's not only men who can be misogynists.

Iam64 Thu 17-Nov-16 19:31:52

smile well said that daphnedill. You are so right about misogynists not all being male - just look at the women who supported Trump for example.
There is something particularly unpleasant about the way in which some women patronise, criticise and judge other women with such ease.

SueDonim Thu 17-Nov-16 19:44:58

Yes, quite, Daphnedill & Iam64. We should be supporting the next generation of parents to raise their children - they're the ones who'll be looking after us in our old age!

vampirequeen Fri 18-Nov-16 20:45:59

It was just a report on the BBC morning news the other day but I haven't seen or heard it since. Must have been one of those slot in reports they do until something else crops up.