Sex Education for 4 year olds !

They're not going to be teaching 4 year olds how to put a condom on a banana, it's relationships at that age eg being nice to each other, bullying and the beginnings of staying safe on line.
If it could be left to parents we wouldn't have a society where most young boys watch hard-core porn and treat girls badly.

All my children knew the basics by the time they were 4 - babies grow in mother's womb - NOT stomach!!!; boys and girls have different genitalia. By the time they were 6 they knew about sexual intercourse in the context of a loving relationship.

But the information came from us, which is where it should come from. I do not buy the idea of losing innocence - facts are facts - knowledge is power.

* yorkshiregel* For a boy the changes will not start until they are about 14yrs old not necessarily, my son was shaving when he was 11/12 and my grandson at 13 has also been shaving for well over a year. Their body changes began well before 14 years old and I think it's safe to assume that so have many other children.

And remember, in the days when we were late in our teaching and in our discussions about "sex" in schools, the UK had by far the highest rate of unplanned teenage pregnancies.

Any parent who is embarrassed about talking to their children about sex and abuse, should be ashamed of themselves.If THEIR child was to be abused it would be the parents fault, as it is up to them to protect their children. I think it`s a great idea for children of 4 yrs. old to be told about sex and abuse.

Yorkshiregel
Were we all so confident that this will apply to the rest.
Whatever we learn/taught there will, with out a doubt, be those who fall by the wayside.
Nothing ventured nothing gained

Not all parents are happy to discuss these things with their children. Even in this day and age! When I taught in year 6 I had parents saying I'm glad you're doing it. I would be too embarrassed'. Incidentally I always considered it one of the most important things I taught.
I was told nothing when I grew up. Had no lessons at school even secondary school. Thank goodness things have changed.

I welcome the introduction of relationship and sex education for children from the age of four. It's already been said that some adults sexually abuse children. Most sexual abuse of children takes place within their family/family friendship circle.
The constant comments from survivors is that they thought it was normal should not be ignored.
It's nonsensical to suggest that appropriate dis ussion of relationships, bodies and sex is going to rob children of 'innocence'.

Education on sexual interference and porn has to come from experts used to dealing with these issues.

Exactly sarahellen, I know about sex, biology etc. but I am no expert on porn or grooming, so I trust these experts in the field to devise a programme of study for the children in school. We spend £000s employing child psychologists, doctors, police to get these things right. We can't always beat the baddies, but we need to at least keep up with them to give our young children a safer future.

I am not defending or attacking but do agree that children will benefit from education around child protection issues. Not all parents are comfortable or competent enough to discuss this with their children.
I have always discussed things in an age appropriate way with my children and with my teenage grandson who has lived with me from birth.
We have some very interesting discussions and I've been known to say to him " too much info" ??
Yes there are differences of opinion, some generational, but we live in a very different age and must acknowledge progressive thinking and teaching.

Educating/ showing from the age of 4/5 and not acceptable or allowed and a criminal offence,is the sexual interference of ones body by an adult/ could be by ones own relative/ someone you know /OR even another child, has to be a priority.
This surely would have a far greater impact on the young as teaching where babies come from,and how.is that which many parents would have already taught their young children
Education on sexual interference and porn has to come from experts used to dealing with these issues.Parents might not be able to deal with this and most likely avoid.

Having 3 mature adult sons who knew all about sex etc etc by their teens, and five grandchildren who also knew about sex etc etc by their teens, without any trauma, or confusion, or fear certainly does qualify me to say the education about sex that they received as teenagers was adequate.

Why do some people persist in being so obtuse? Is it stupidity or sheer cussedness I wonder or are they fixated with the sexual act themselves?

They hear (or read) the words 'sex education' and miss the 'relationships' but and then assume that 4-years olds are going to be taught the 'Facts of Life'.

No they're not!

The quantity of children one has has no reflection on their quality of parenting.

Bibbity having had 3 sons of my own 4 grandsons and a granddaughter who knows the facts of life already I know what to do or say thanks.

In fact daphnedill even little babies are being sexually abused by these horrible men...and women in some cases. That is why we need a better deterrent. Even if children are aware of what was happening they would not be able to defend themselves. Why frighten them about things that might not happen?

I was 11 yrs old when my body started changing. I used to hate PE because I had breasts and had started my periods. I was usually in a lot of pain too even when I was at college I had to go and have a lay down with a hot water bottle.

My mother had 3 daughters and 2 sons. She was not of the generation that spoke much about sex education, but we all knew the differences between us. We did not get sex education until we reached secondary school and I remember queueing up with boys and girls to see a film in the school cinema about it. There were a few red faces when we came out but on the whole we all took it in our stride. I cannot imagine what a 4yr old would make of it. Probably the birth rate would take a bashing. It would be more like a horror movie to them.

It's not a might. It will happen. And I dissagree with you that if done in the right way it will cause anxiety.
Are you ignoring the poster who wishes that what is being proposed happened to her?because she was anxious at starting her period. Because no one had to common sense to give her a heads up.
You do not phrase it as a man will touch a girl intimately.
1. It's not always a man.
2. It's not only girls who get abused.

You drill into their little heads using fun phrases and books that they are the dictators of their bodies. If they don't want to hug someone they don't. If they don't want to kiss someone they don't. And then you teach them the pants rule. That they have private areas. And that only people they feel comfortable with and with their permission can go anywhere near those areas. You teach them that secrets are wrong. That there are no secrets from mum and dad ever. That if anyone tells them to keep a secret that they go to mum, Dad or teacher immediately and tells them.

There are children with two dads or two mums. They are just as much a family as a child with one of each. I'm not addressing the rest of your bigoted post. Thank God times are changing.

Yorkshiregel, you do realise that boys get erections long before the age of 14, don't you? And that in recent years several boys younger than that age have been charged with rape or sexual assault?

Sorry Bibbity I do not agree with you. Telling a 4yr old girl that she might bleed, and that some men might touch her private parts could cause anxiety problems I think. As I have said, talking to a girl about periods, which is a normal change in the body, can wait until secondary school or late primary school. I did not say it was dirty, it isn't. Please do not put words in my mouth.

For a boy the changes will not start until they are about 14yrs old so why tell them about this when they are 4yrs old? Most 14 yr old boys know the difference between boys and girls anyway, and most of them learn either from their families or from their friends. Why are schools even getting involved?

Telling young children about so called 'gay' or 'transvestite' people is just pandering to this PC nonsense. As for encouraging young children to be brainwashed in to thinking they are the wrong sex well I think some mothers are going much too far and should be charged with child abuse.

Oh and * bibbity* if you're teaching your children about sex education, your children were never in your stomach otherwise you would have digested them ?

Well considering that some have said that educating children on puberty is akin to abuse. Yes.
There are definelty generational differences.
I'm not saying every GP think the same. And then that every parent of this generation think the same.
But I have been apart of this exact same discussion on parenting pages.
And it went a very very differnet direction.

Bibbity....your post ..' I believe my generation are far more aware of how sharp and capable children are'....more aware than who? There are many gransnetters on here who have had several decades of child care and child protection experience, who are very aware of how sharp and capable children are. Those of us who continually alerted the authorities about child abuse (I attended meetings in Belfast and Dublin in early 1980s about abuse in children's homes and religious establishments ) We shouted loudly enough and I'm aware of how much my personal intervention prevented abuse in many families.
It's some adults who need to be 'sharp and aware'.

Nobody is suggesting bringing sex into a child's world. As Anya reminded us, this is about sex and relationship education. Unfortunately, there are children as young as four or five who are sexually abused. I expect you told your own children not to accept sweets or lifts in cars from strangers, but didn't go into details of why they shouldn't. This is just the updated version.

You seem to assume that all parents are loving parents, who are happy to talk to their children about relationships and sex. Sadly, they aren't. The reason I mentioned the age which I started my own periods was because they had never been discussed and, being so young, it affected me for years. I would have been so much less anxious, if my mother or a teacher had discussed them and explained that there was nothing wrong with me. My boobs also started growing about the same time and I remember boys in my class wanting to touch them. I had no idea why, but I was uncomfortable about it and didn't know how to react. I wish I'd had the confidence to tell people it was my body and I had the right to say 'no'.

Secondary school is far too late to start sex and relationship education.

Yorkshiregirl again no one is saying teach them the best positions. But there is nothing wrong with learning about puberty or how life starts. Children are sponges and love absorbing new information.
I'd much rather my children learn the facts in an education setting early rather than misinformation from their friends.
Having a period is not shameful, embarrassing or scary.
I've also read they're going to expand from the traditional families. So they can discuss gay couples etc.

Children of 4yrs old would be baffled having explicit sex education at this age. Allow children to be children for God's sake. Secondary school is early enough to learn this subject.

daphnedill knowing about your body is a different matter. 10-11yrs old is about the norm for periods, not 4yrs old. They are still interested in Paw Patrol or Frozen to worry about things that they do not understand.

OK for parents to explain that babies come from the mother's tummy, but telling the child in explicit detail how it got there, and the difference in the sexes is a step too far imo.

The Government should keep its nose out of education. Leave it to the teachers, and leave politics to the politicians.

There is a 'keep children safe' method on computers these days that parents should all know about. No need to bring sex in to a 4 yrs old child's world.

I have said before we are gradually, step by step, being led down the path to accepting paedophiles in our society. Now the police say they are swamped with cases and they cannot cope so they want only the most serious cases investigated. Surely the answer is to provide more police, build more prisons and introduce a much better deterrent than we have now. Compulsory chemical castration for example.