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Despondent niece

(40 Posts)
SusieB50 Thu 17-Aug-17 16:49:18

My poor niece feels a total failure for ONLY getting an A in biology and two B's in Maths and Chemistry ,and has failed to get into York .They offered her Ecology but not Maths. Harsh I feel as this is the first year of the new style A levels .Nobody can console her ,even though she has done brilliantly .The top universities can still pick and choose and our poor young people have so much pressure .

norose4 Thu 17-Aug-17 16:57:11

Ohh please tell her it's not the end of her dream, she will be very welcomed at a different University. Far better to be where you are wanted/ suited etc than to hold on to a dream that sadly won't now come true. My sons did brilliantly by not going where they first thought they would go. Life takes unexpected twists & turns & sometimes we can't see until later that something's, sometimes are just meant to be. Wishing her good luck & an optimistic outlook

Eglantine19 Thu 17-Aug-17 17:00:21

The top universities are the top universities because they can pick from the best results. If they took those with lower results they probably wouldn't be the top universities for long. I sorry that your niece is disappointed but your thinking isn't quite logical.

suzied Thu 17-Aug-17 17:12:44

She could still get into a good uni with those results. My youngest DD had to go through clearing as she didn't get the grades for the uni she wanted. She ended up going to Sheffield and had the best time, got her masters, met her bf, and now has an excellent job.

Luckygirl Thu 17-Aug-17 19:22:00

She will be fine - there will be somewhere for her with those grades and I am sure that she will do well. She needs to get on the case with clearing now.

BlueBelle Thu 17-Aug-17 19:30:03

Unfortunately how ever many good luck stories you give her it won't make up for her disappointment only time will do that
I do think it's bad when they change the stepping stones I have grandkids waiting for olevel or whatever it's called now results and this is the first year they have upped the tests to a harder level a maths tutor we know told us that the maths is considerable harder this year.... How unfair is that

M0nica Thu 17-Aug-17 19:40:10

I am sorry, it is foolish beyond belief to consider yourself a failure just because you got ABB instead of what?

One of the key skills you need to develop when you move from the protection of home and school to the big wide world of further education and work, is a sense of proportion, followed by learning to be flexible. Throughout her life, again and again this girl will find things do not turn out the way she hoped and she will have to learn to adjust and chop and change.

There are hundreds of courses in a wide variety of subjects in Russell Group universities that will be only too happy to accept someone with ABB, but she must be flexible. Perhaps Maths is clearly over subscribed at York, but may well not be in other top universities. Alternatively she could do maths and something else or something else and maths. or she could just think of another subject that interests her, not perhaps ecology but there are such a huge range of to choose from.

She needs to snap out of her grief ASAP and get looking, numbers applying to university are down this year. Get out there show that she can cope with the realities of life
There are lots of universities and courses waiting to snap up students with qualifications like hers.

SusieB50 Thu 17-Aug-17 19:53:27

I think that what I feel so cross about is that she feels a failure with such good results , there is so much hype and pressure on young people . Yes she will get somewhere I know and all will sort itself out , she is very young- only just 17, so possibly a year out maybe is an option .

paddyann Thu 17-Aug-17 20:46:53

honestly Blair with his target of 50% of all students getting into university was the biggest mistake for decades.Its not the be all and end all fact there are thousands of people with degrees doing jobs they could easily have done WITHOUT an extra 3 or 4 years of education.I personally know 2 young men with good degrees who are managing a chip shop and a bar!!!What a waste of time and money.Of course the reluctance of many young folk to start at the bottom and WORK their way up doesn't help.My neighbours son has not one or two but THREE stints at uni behind him each ending in a different degree...he still doesn't know "what he wants to do" god help us did we ever manage back in the day ?

Kittye Thu 17-Aug-17 20:57:52

My granddaughter was disappointed she ONLY got 2A*s and a C. She can't get into her first choice university but has been accepted by her second choice. We are all immensely proud of her and think she's done brilliantly. I'm sure she'll get over her disappointment and have a great time at uni.

J52 Thu 17-Aug-17 21:55:39

How sad that anyone would feel a failure with those grades. She should search clearing for a course and university of her choice.
I know a student who was rejected on her grades, but got on the same course, same University through clearing! ? How strange?

Deedaa Thu 17-Aug-17 22:26:31

DD hadn't bothered to apply for any university but when her results were better than she expected ( A, B and C) she went through clearing, found herself a place and over twenty years later is still working at the same university and is a recognised authority in her field. Basically she's been along it up as she goes along.

f77ms Fri 18-Aug-17 08:26:49

Wise words from monica .

BlueBelle Fri 18-Aug-17 09:22:34

I will add my two daughters who both went through uni and work in professions earn half what their brother earns who went to work at 16 and didn't want to know about further education

Smithy Fri 18-Aug-17 09:27:02

Some great advice on here, you can't protect them from the hard knocks life dishes out. She will have no problem getting a good place through clearing with those grades. In my daughter's day some of the school teachers were really helpful with the kids who didn't get their first choice, maybe things are different now.

Teetime Fri 18-Aug-17 09:29:53

Well I think she did briliantly well and she wil soon get over her disappointment once through clearing she will find a good place. York's loss I'd say! Good Luck to her.

GrumpyOldBat Fri 18-Aug-17 10:19:50

It is rather easier to get into university now than it was thirty years ago. The best universities have always been so because they only accept the best students. Not meeting the requirement for one course does not mean the end of the universe - there are plenty of elite universities who will happily accept this student. Learning to fail and learning that you don't always get what you want are useful lessons. Remind her about Einstein's track record, and tell her to lighten up a bit. I despair of young people today - my lot crashed and burned, learned, laughed, went to the pub, then cracked on with plan B. Sorted.

devongirl Fri 18-Aug-17 10:41:07

Another possibility (though personally I don't think it's worth it) would be to resit next year.

devongirl Fri 18-Aug-17 10:42:27

I don't mean in any way to cast aspersions, but I think it is a mistake to think this is all down to harder A-levels, as examination boards have deliberately tried to avoid that this year with their grading to avert a 'hard landing'.

craftynan Fri 18-Aug-17 10:59:08

She's done really well but is bound to be disappointed, hopefully she will get a good place elsewhere doing what she wants to do. I agree with paddyann, I came out of school with a handful of O levels, not particularly good grades, and started in a low position in an office. Through sheer hard work I moved up the ranks, to a position that gave me a comfortable life and a reasonable pension. Having said that, I stayed with the same employer for almost 40 years - people don't seem to do that anymore.

Alidoll Fri 18-Aug-17 11:00:08

Those are good grades! I never got into my first choice but with hindsight, I'm so glad I didn't!! I had chosen microbiology and after several months doing a human biology course I had been accepted for and looking down a microscope some of the days, I'd have dropped out if I'd have had to do it EVERY single day!

As my old gran used to say "what's for you, won't go by you"

It'll work its self out in the long run. Life is full of ups and downs and twist and turns (no...I won't quote a certain song at this point lol!). She needs to focus on the course she has been accepted for and not dwell on what could have been but what's there now.

Alidoll Fri 18-Aug-17 11:02:38

Oh, and I now have an honours degree, masters and PGrad diploma so with a bit determination and hard work, she can get there as been there, got the uni t-shirt and all that.

Musicelf Fri 18-Aug-17 11:05:44

The daughter of a friend of mine, who wanted to study law at a particular university, failed to get the required grades, and took up a place at a more minor university. Since she was pretty much the top of her year right from the start, she did really well and got a prestigious job at the end of it. Had she gone to the bigger university, she might not have landed anything.

moxeyns Fri 18-Aug-17 11:20:29

Unless she's a maths genius, NOT being offered a place on a maths course might be a reprieve - I discovered that the hard way at Uni, swiftly swapping to physics!

ajanela Fri 18-Aug-17 11:26:11

Things always happen for a reason. St Thomas's hospital London turned me down and I was accepted by St. George's London. That turned out to be the best hospital for me and suited my personality. When I watch '24 hours in Casulty' their ethos of care is the same as I was taught 50 years ago. Each patient is an individual person, a holistic approach quite revolutionary at the time,

In the same way your niece will find the right place for her.