Have you done your Swedish death clean yet?

I keep planning a bit clear-out but have to get a Round Tuit first.

I agree with Iam64 and try and do the same but I also have all the photographs.Nothing in the loft to be cleared though and I regularly sort out the garage as DH could be quite a hoarder if I didn't insist.

When we moved 4 years ago we threw away loads of stuff. It was a painful process but I did often think that I would rather be doing it when I was fit and had someone to help, than if I was old, not very well or bereaved. And it is good to feel less encumbered. We just had just 2 self-drive van loads to move. One of those was entirely occupied by stuff DH could not bear to part with. CDs and Comics mainly. And some books. These are now in an expensively refurbished roof space and will never be looked at. I have told him if he goes first I will be seriously angry with him for leaving me to dispose of all those storage boxes full of CDs and comics. People round the corner moved to the IOM last week with a ginormous removal vanful. I felt slightly smug.

I have been trying the
getting round tuit for several years.
Every time I mention it,
DD just rolls her eyes.

Hi Jalima

www.kidzworld.co.za/images/stories/articles/activities/crafts/a-round-tuit.pdf

A template so you can have your own round tuit. Failing that you can have a long weekend in York, because there is a good gift shop there that stocks lots of them - just in case you need one, of course.
Not that I'm encouraging you to avoid getting a round tuit.

Having cleared two big houses over the last two years belonging to my mum and deceased in laws I am very aware of leaving all our stuff for the children to sort, so am clearing all sorts of things. Helped by the fact that the one dumping room suffered ceiling collapse recently so even having to do that sooner than planned. Anyway feels good to do it.

We've got rid of a lot of stuff in the past few years - much of it when Dh re insulated the loft - had to clear everything out and then wonder why we'd held on to most of it.
Charity shops were the beneficiaries! Oxfam was just one of them, and they informed us later that our donations had raised over £250!

There is still stuff to go, though we are not hoarders. This winter I am going to attack my wardrobe and get rid of all the things I've been hanging on to in case I ever want to wear them again, even though I haven't for a few years.

I do think of dds, and having done it more than once, I am all too aware what a huge and horrible task it is, clearing someone's house after they've died or had to go into a care home.
What they will do with the things I just have to keep, I don't know. Among these are my father's lovely silk christening gown and shawl - he was born 1916 - painstakingly pintucked and trimmed with lace, I think by my great granny. My mother would have liked to use them for us, but we were all too fat for them!

Our Charity shop takes anything apart from electrical items (once we get the certificate to check electrical items we will be taking them) we also still take cds/dvds and people come in as we have a good collection./..the only thing we don't take is the old Videos VHS.

So if your stuck what to do with your unwanted items the charity shops are always wanting stock( well ours is anyway) the r.s.p.c.a some will come and collect if you have quiet a few bags.

Looking at my DGC rooms aged 8 and 10, I realise they need lessons in sorting themselves and their things out. It's all part of living. They is a tendency for them to think Mummy will do it. Mummy will do everything.
So it's another lesson for them. Looking through their things and sorting it out a bit. Part of adult life.
Not just a death clean.

I love the feeling you get after managing to sort and clear some of my/our junk collectibles. Also a while back I got the feeling that it was a bit like the 'nesting' instinct that you get when pregnant, only this is for the beginning of putting our affairs in order as you get older. I haven't put it very well, but someone may know what I am getting at.

There is a difference between clearing out to the point where there is the bare essentials left and clearing out rubbish that will never mean anything to children, I have boxes full of treasures from the early years that I could never get rid of and the children will share amongst themselves in later years. The stuff I clear out is old, broken, dirty, meaningless clutter. We had a lot of decent novels that I looked at recently and asked the children what they thought and they all said if they wanted to read them they would download them onto a device. As it happens we have a library at work so I donated them there but it's good to ask their opinion first to avoid upset

Re boxes of old photos, I loved what my father did with a load of his, not too long before he died. He picked out a small album full of the best, and wrote captions under each, so that at least we knew who the people were and where it was - so often you haven't a clue.
Typically of him, the captions were amusing, e.g. 'Great granny Agatha and great aunt Mildred, dressed in the fashion of staid ladies of their day.'

There were pictures of a Suffolk farm where he'd stayed on holiday as a child, and he even remembered the name of a very handsome farm horse in one of the photos.
Nearly all the other old photos were chucked, but this has all been scanned for our children and grandchildren.

I think this is a really good idea but needs to be moderated a bit. I have just brought out a novel 'The Ladies' Suicide Club', which looks at 'end-of-life plans' in general. I think we need to talk more about death and accept that we should be discussing it with friends and family well before there is any sign of it on the horizon. I think 70-75 is probably soon enough for starting your clear-out.

I plan to keep my things which bring me pleasure up until the last minute. As soon as I'm dead, a house clearance firm can take the lot.

My next doors husband died 2yrs ago. Ever since then she’s been death cleaning. I’m leaving it for my children to do. I’ve no idea what they’ll want and what they won’t!

biker our charity shop has a sign up saying ‘no more donations please as we’ve no more room’

I only came here to find out what a death clean was. It's too horrible! Actually I suppose I've left a few things handy for them - will, bank stuff, etc. also suggestions re. funeral but it's what they want that matters. I have been chucking out stuff all my life anyway but still have things which make me wonder why on earth I have them. Death clean.... urghhh it's horrible! Don't say it, so cold and creepy. Why not set up some little fun surprises for them? Presents or something? But then you'd need to make sure they got them. In reality, when my mum died, practically everything was cleared by a House Clearance Company. I'd leave them some cash to pay for that.

My house is FULL. I’m leaving most of it for my children to throw out. We have discussed it and they have said they don’t mind.

I do feel a bit sad about my beautiful china. Nobody wants tea-sets ( I have five of them) or huge dinner services that won’t go in the dishwasher because of silver line decoration. There might be collectors, I suppose.

I’m certainly not throwing out my books or pictures! I still live here.

The joy of having a house with lots of storage is slightly dimmed by the fact that at some stage we are going to have to sort through it all. Every year I do several mini clear-outs, but that still leaves far too much waiting to be sorted. Today I made a start by going through one downstairs wall to ceiling bookcase - it took me quite some time! (And I still need to clear the dresser/sideboard/cupboard........) [gulp]

I decided not to keep any books which I knew I wouldn' t read again. I just throw them away as even charity shops get too many books. I have a Kindle now as well.
Clothes are harder. A friend in hospital was being sent home with shoulder and arm stuck out in a plaster. She asked me to cut a sleeve out of an old coat of hers and bring it to the hospital. Since then I feel I ought to have clothes to cut up in such a situation!

Our children will have some clearing up to do that can't be avoided but I am trying to give my dinner service away already now and find no takers. Its all rather sad. My bicycle is being collected next week, as these days bicycles are stolen from school storage shelters, and GD wants an old one to cycle to school on, so its not completely gone.
As to the Swedish death model I think 55 is much too early. We returned to Germany aged 53 and took a load of English furnture with us, bought at Antique Fairs. I've just bought a digital piano, I think life is for living. Perhaps their furniture is all IKEA.

I am so trying to do a really thorough, deep clean and get rid of excess junk and clutter. My “assistant” (DH) is seriously testing my patience. He’s trying to help but causing more work. He’s in grave danger of either being put in the excess junk and clutter pile or preceding the clean ??? Break over, back to it ?

A few of my neighbours have died recently. Their children live away and seem to have just chucked everything in a skip. It makes me sad to see someone's whole life just thrown in a skip (especially when there are items that could have been given to charity) . It made me decide I will start to sort through my stuff. When mum died I cleared her house with the help of her two sisters. We laughed and cried at some of the memories but it actually helped with the grieving process.

Oil

Many posters seem to assume that their children do not want any of their 'stuff'. My experience with my DC and DGC is the opposite.

My DGD has already told me that she wants my sewing box/work table, It was originally my mother's, she bought it in Hong Kong in the early 1950s. It is lacquered and carved. My DC both want quite a number of items we own,

Some years ago we got rid of some small pieces of furniture and DD threw a real wobbly. We got rid of a small cheap reproduction coffee table that had belonged to her DGM and which, for her, was redolent with memories, of a much loved GM and which she would have kept.

It depends on the family situation I think. When we downsized we had to prune drastically. Some things went to family, a lot couldn’t, no space. If we were doing it now one would like more because of a change in their situation, but the clock can’t be turned back. If someone is living comfortably then no reason to prune either furniture or treasured items, these are different to clutter which is neither beautiful nor useful. Each situation is different. My father asked us to clear away many things he didn’t see a use for when he knew he was dying. We did it together. It was upsetting to a degree but for me less upsetting than dealing with the rest after his death. It was important to him to leave a tidy home behind him. We’re all different. Just do what feels right for you and your family.